You know I think one of the hard things of being a single mom sometimes is the tough questions that the little ones ask. I don’t have that second person in the house to back me up on stuff and now that Tooters is getting older she is seeing things in other households that do not occur in our home. I live in a wonderful neighborhood that seems to be made up of what I like to call special families. These are families of special circumstances. By this I mean families that were delt cards that they did not ask for but do the best that they can with what they have, well most of them. Take my house for example, we live in a nice 3 bedroom home with a dog, a good size yard and just the two of us. Her dad has not seen her for 14 months by his choice and calls only a couple of times a month. In Tooters world this is what daddy is, a voice on the phone and Grandpa is the good male role model. She thinks he is the greatest thing in the world.
Now let me just tell you a little about some of my neighbors and you can see where Tooters is a little confused about families at times. The two little girls across the street that love to come to my house to play and eat popsicles lost their mother about a year and a half ago to a drug overdose and their dad is as involved as my ex-husband is with Tooters. These little girls are so sweet and loving, I could not ask for better friends for my daughter. They are being raised by their grandparents and have adopted me into their world. The girl up the road is being raised by a single mom that moves her new boyfriends in about once a year. Usually they beat up on the mom steal the money and some of the furniture then take off. So her mom spends a lot of time drunk and telling the little girl that she will find her another new daddy soon. Needless to say Tooters is not allowed to play with that one. I feel that if she is not learning that crap at home she is not going to learn it is ok from the girl up the road. I want to keep her sheltered for a while longer if I can. Another one that is around the corner has three kids by three different men and she moves guys in about as often as I change the oil in my car, which is very regularly. Tooters does not play there either.
The last one I will tell you about is the all American family. Both parents still married and happy together. They live in a very nice house, have a big yard, two boys, a girl, and a dog. How picture perfect is that. Well the little girl went to pre-school with Tooters and they have decided that they are best friends. After playing over there for awhile Tooters finally came home with one of the questions I have been dreading for a long time and still do.
“Why aren’t you and my daddy married? How come he does not live with us?”
All I can do is hang my head and take a deep breath. I have ten million things racing through my head but I cannot tell her. I cannot stand to look in that little face and tell her what an abusive ass her dad was. Nor can I tell her that he was a lying, cheating, pervert that took my pride and dignity. So this is when I explain to her that some families are just very special and that is what we are, a very special family. I tell her that each family is different and sometimes mommy’s and daddy’s are better being friends in separate places. This seems to pacify her for the moment and makes her happy that she is apart of something special. Whew!!! Did I dodge that bullet for the moment. Tooters looks up and gives me a huge hug and says, “You know mommy I love you more then ice cream.” Tears well up because to a five year old that is super huge.
Then it comes, I just hear the thoughts rolling around and the shoe drops. Something in my tummy siezed up when those cute little lips parted and here comes the comment that I just know is going to make me want to run and hide under the bed or laugh until I can’t breathe.
“Mommy I have decided I need a little sister. So when you get your taxes back next year can you buy me one? If you don’t have enough for a little sister I will settle for an icky boy since they are cheaper. You don’t even have to buy one with teeth because that is probably a lot more.”
I looked at her sitting in my lap with such a serious look on her face that what happened next just could not be helped. I felt it welling up, I tried to suppress it but I could not help myself. I started to giggle at first. She told me don’t laugh that this was a very serious thing. For some reason that sent me over the edge. I started to laugh and laugh and laugh. Pretty soon tears are rolling down my face and I am gasping for air I am laughing so hard. Tooters jumped up and said, “See if I try to talk to you anymore today!!!”
With that she stomped off to her room while I finished with my fit with the dog looking at me like I had two heads. Don’t worry I went and talked to her and apologized. We went for ice cream and by bedtime she had forgotten the whole thing happened. You know I am such a lucky mommy to have someone with such a cool way of looking at the world. She makes me laugh and I cannot wait to see what she comes up with next.