The Morning Monster

Mornings at my house are very interesting.  First of all I am not really a morning person at all.  I spent 6 years on the night shift before I gave birth to Tooters 5 years ago.  Now for some reason all these years later my body seems to think that if it continues to fight me in the mornings I will give in and go back to the night shift.  Well this weekend with all of the wildfires burning the state of Utah down I got my chance to go back to nights. I hold a couple of different positions with the government ageny that I work for and one of them is dispatching the wildfires during the summer.  Well since Friday night I have returned to my beloved nights.  Whew boy did I then get a slap in the face wake up call. 

 YOU CANNOT WORK NIGHTS AND RAISE A KID ALONE AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!!!!

I got off of a 13 hour shift yesterday morning and stumbled home.  I am still shocked I did not get pulled over and accused of driving drunk because my eyes had given up focusing at one point.  My parents luckily live in town and when they are not working nights help me out and babysit for me.  Dad told me he would call when Tooters woke up so I tried to get some sleep before picking her up.  Just as I finally got the dog to calm down after being in her crate all night and started to fall asleep my dad calls and says that she is up and come and get her so he can go back to bed for work too.  After we stopped at McDonalds for food supplies for the day, I know how awful, we finally make it home.  I got my blanket and pillow, put a movie in for Tooters and decided to relax on the couch for a while.  I fell asleep watching the movie only to wake up in a bath of sweat and my kiddo with every tutu on that she owns and quietly playing on the floor.  She walks over to me and pats my cheek and say mommy you look tired why don’t you take another nap.  Well while I am laying there trying to register what is going on all I can think is that it is freaking hot.  I started praying please don’t let the a/c be broken.  It is 150,000 degrees outside and I am to tired to climb up on the ladder to work on the unit.  I checked the thermostat to see how hot it is in the house and it says that it is 88 DEGREES!!!!!!! What the Hell!!!! Then I noticed the heater was on and pushed up to 95.  Tooters looks up at me and all she can say is that she got cold.  Well that will teach me to fall asleep with her in the house. 

 Needless to say this morning I have returned to my regular office schedule.  My body has gone into some weird withdrawel thing and is rejecting the sunlight right now.  My skin is crawling and every inch of my total being is saying, “Go to bed, go to bed.”  Now the bad part is when I pick up Tooters after work she, of course, will be ready to run a marathon.  So I will go home armed with my toothpicks to hold my eyes open and work out in the yard for a while.  Which no matter what day of the week it is when I am out there my yard becomes the neighborhood hang out for little girls.

Well back to my original thought.  This morning I dragged myself out of bed when the alarm went off.  I think the only reason I was able to do that was because it was still kind of dark and my body was fooled.  I let the dog out, who got used to sleeping with me durning the day and did not want to move either.  Then I went about my business of waking up for the day.  I even turned on the music full blast in the bathroom to help get me going.  In the middle of all the moving around my lovely little Tooters was sound asleep.  So I crept up onto my bed where she was snoring away.  (She walks in her sleep and migrates to my bed sometime after midnight and then I get to spend the rest of the night trying not to fall off the edge due to my daughter and dog taking over the bed.)  I tried to tickle her a little, give her little kisses, even take the covers off of her.  That little snot slept through it all.  I finally jumped up onto the bed started bouncing around and singing, “Good morning to you, good morning to you….” all to the tune of Happy Birthday.  She finally sits up and looks at me with purest of anger and says, “I am too sleepy to get up, my body does not work this early, and I will get dressed at the babysitters or when it is light outside!!!” Man has she got the evil eye down pat for such a little one.  I am so proud!!  She flopped back down and pulled the covers up over her head and I swear she was asleep again that fast.  Oh my god please don’t tell me this is a small look into the future and what kind of teenager I am looking forward to.

 I decided to let her have a few more minutes while I was in the shower, so I turned on the TV to some cartoon and went back to the bathroom and my loud music to start getting ready for the day.  I got out of the shower, let the dog in and was wondering around the bedroom trying to look like I knew where I was going when I actually forgot what I was in there for.  I look over and there lays Tooters with her eyes closed and the covers up to her ears.  I finally started to get mad and told her that if she did not get up and get dressed right now she would not get to have her friends over to play until she turned 35.  She responded with a grouchy whiney voice that was compared to finger nails on a chalkboard.  I thought oh this cannot be happening this morning I am to tired to deal with it.  So I stomp over to the bed and yanked all the covers down and there in all her glory lays my beautiful daughter fully dressed for the day and sweetly looks up at me and says, “I got you!!!!!!!!” then jumps out of the bed and races up the hall with the dog on her heels.

 Now tell me what do you do, be upset with the way she talked to her mother, or be glad that this was a good day and surprised me.  Well I took the high road and ran up the hall behind her with the squirt gun that I used to discipline the dog with shooting her in the back as fast as I could.  Don’t get me wrong this was an unusual morning because most of the time it is whining and begging for her to get up so it was nice to have a break in the routine. 

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