Peeping Toms of the New Age
I had quite the exciting event happen to me this past week. I had the world’s stupidest peeping tom ever at my house. Normally having someone in my yard looking in the window at night would have freaked me out a little but, but being that he was a moron I think is what kept me calm. Let me back track a little bit.
As you all know I live alone with Tooters and Paddy the Wonder Pup so noises outside really do not even faze me anymore I just ignore them. If I jumped up to check every little noise outside that I hear I would never get a moment of peace after Tooters is in bed for the night.
Well this particular night was the same as any other night of the week. Tooters went to bed and Paddy settled down in her dog bed in the living room and crashed. I have never heard a dog snore so much in my life. Being that I have pretty bad insomnia and that night was shaping up to be a very long night for me I decided to check out what was on the TV. Ok I was actually waiting for the “Bad Girls Club” to come on. Shhhh!! It is a guilty pleasure of mine. Of course my neighbor came home and made a lot of racket doing it so that set off the Wonder Pup, or so I thought that is what it was. I finally get the Wonder Pup to quit having a fit so that Tooters would not wake up, and of course she had to pout after that. She sat in her little bed looking at the front window doing the little, “Berf, berf” noise.
Now let me stop right here to set up the scenario a little more. The Wonder Pup is very nosey and there is not a lot going on outside that she does not know about. She picked up the habit of sitting on my window seat and wedging her 25-pound body between the window and the blinds to watch people going by. I was afraid that she would bend the blinds so I started leaving them pulled up about a foot for her. So now she lays on the seat and watches everything, this is very hilarious to watch. She is like Mrs. Kravits from Bewitched with fur and a tail. I am so used to them being up I forget to pull them down at night. Of course if someone goes by they can see in a little bit from the road but not very well since my house sets up from the road.
Well tonight was no different. There I sit in my huge nightshirt that is almost worn through and my tweety bird pajama pants. My show had not started yet so I am just flicking channels and while it is dead silent for a moment I hear a cell phone go off. I look down and check but it is not my phone. I look out the window and from my perch on the couch I see a person run past the window and jump the fence. I heard the person crash on the other side of the fence let out a few cuss words and take off running up the road.
Now like I said, this normally would have freaked me out but I thought about it for a second and came to the conclusion I have the worlds worst peeping tom. What dumb ass peeps in the window and forgets to turn off the cell phone. Second of all my gates are all pad locked shut so you would think they would find an easier yard to escape from.
So I called my mom who is a dispatcher at the sheriff’s office and told her what was going on and have one of the officers come check the yard. OMG!!! What a mistake that was telling her what was going on. Of course she is the world’s biggest worry wart (I think from now on that is what she will be called here The Wart) and instantly volunteered my dad (who is home in bed sound asleep) to come and stay the night on my couch. I declined and told her I will be fine just have an officer cruise the area. Well people be careful what you ask for because for the rest of the night there were traffic stops right outside of my house. Then to top it all off my mom calls the house every hour asking if I am ok or if I heard anything else. Heck after I made the first call I was in bed 45 minutes later and not even thinking about it.
I am just saying that if you are that desperate to look into someone’s windows while they are watching television remember to turn off your cell phones. And a special note to the dumb ass at my window the other night, I hope you fell on your head and knocked some sense into yourself.