Archive for October, 2008

Missing: One Brain Cell Possibly More

Posted in anger, Blogroll, boss, children, cleansing, co-workers, emergency, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, healing, health, help, horror, humor, life, personal, personality, random, sick, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 28, 2008 by Iron Mom

I usually try to leave work stuff out of my blog but my boss did something yesterday that I just have to talk about.  Now I know he tries really hard but there is something about this guy that is way off.  Some days are worse than others.  His heart is in the right place I just don’t know that it is communicating with his brain. 

 

I was sitting at my desk hard at work as usual **wink wink ** when my boss and one of the other guys in the office walked in to get something out of the supply closet across from me.  Well they were standing in the doorway talking about general work stuff when my boss trying to make a point stomped his foot on the ground a couple of times.  Just as he did this the other guys cell phone made a doorbell noise, this just could not have been better timing.  The boss looked up shocked and I swear to God he asked me if he made that sound when he was stomping the ground. 

 

I don’t know what came over me but at that moment I just could not help myself, I very seriously looked at the boss and asked, “What noise?? I did not hear anything.”

 

He just looked from me then to the other guy looking very confused.  I asked the other guy if he heard anything thing then I asked the boss if he was feeling ok.  What happened next was classic.  He started stomping his foot on the ground like a horse saying watch I will make it do it again.  How I kept a straight face I will never know.  The other guy was turning purple because he was working so hard to keep from laughing.  I thought this guy was going to blow an O-ring or something. 

 

So of course I asked the boss if he was sure he was ok and did he remember to take his medicine that morning.  All he can do is keep stomping and saying just a second I swear I did it.  He finally gave up and mumbled something under his breath and shuffled back to his office.  As soon as I was in the clear I raced up the hallway to the closest exit so I could go outside and laugh.  I still have not told him that it was the cell phone and not his foot!

 

You know this is not the first time he has done something this absurd.  I wonder if he has lost a few marbles here and there.  Anyways it doesn’t matter to me what is wrong with him as long as he continues to brighten my day like that sometimes. 

Are You A Freddy or A Jason???

Posted in Blogroll, children, cleansing, costumes, emergency, emotional, family, fire, freddy krueger, friends, frustration, fun, funny, growing up, halloween, healing, health, help, horror, humor, jason vorhees, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, scary movie, sick, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 24, 2008 by Iron Mom

In my opinion in life there are two kinds of people in the world.  You have your Jason people and your Freddy people.  What this means is which horror franchise do you prefer?  Are you the type of person that prefers the Freddy Kruger movies or do you like the Friday the 13th movies?  I believe this is directly related to your personality.  Just keep reading and see what I mean.

Freddy Kruger is gruesome to look at, but you just cannot turn away you have to keep looking at the overall look fascinated by the effect.  This means you are curious and not afraid of a little gore so you are a strong soul.  Freddy starts out with the basic slash of the young pretty girl but he evolves into much more.  His killing style becomes creative even jocular as the later movies come out.  This means that you are artistic and not afraid to take risks in life and you like to be thought provoking.  Freddy stalks his prey and toys with them if he does not get them the first time.  You are patient and if you do not mind trying over and over again to get what you want.  This also means that you are playful and do not mind a side trip now and again.

Jason actually was not in the first movie it was really his mother is concealed behind a mask.  This keeps you guessing and wondering what is behind it.  This means that you do not take people at face value you look beyond that and try to see what they are hiding.  He stalks his victims and seems to mostly stick to his determined gait.  This means you are focused you know where you are going even if it takes you a while.  His killing style is to slash and stab.  This means that you are direct and you cut to the chase so to speak and get it over with quickly.

Now for the weapons of choice.  Freddy has his signature glove with the knives.  However he also invades your dreams and kills from there.  This means that you are a deep thinker and a bit of a dreamer.  You like to use your hands but only for fun and art not for the dirty work.  This does not mean you are lazy you just have a different way of looking at the world.

Jason prefers the machete.  He stalks his prey and then slashes and stabs.  This means you have a direct purpose for what you do and how you do things.  He also sticks to the woods.  This means that you are not afraid of the outdoors or getting dirty. 

So which type of person are you?  Are you a Freddy or a Jason?  Personally I am a Freddy all the way.  I even have a collector’s edition box set of all the movies on VHS still in the wrapper that has never been watched.  I know what a nerd, but leave me alone that is my man.  As you can guess I am a little warped.  So leave a comment at the bottom and let me know what you are.  Happy Halloween.

 

 

 

Looking For Good Opinions

Posted in Blogroll, children, cleansing, emergency, emotional, family, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, growing up, healing, health, help, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, quit smoking, random, sick, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 23, 2008 by Iron Mom

Before you read this post please keep in mind that I am running on no sleep and no food.  I am trying to decide right now if I should keep trying to do the Master Cleanse right now.  There is a large fire in my town that I have to help work so this means insane hours.  Let me give you a rundown of the last few days and you will see what I mean. 

Monday I was in bed with the stomach flu and ate very little, I went to bed that night and had a hard time sleeping so I got maybe 6 hours of sleep if I am lucky.  I finally gave up at 4:45 am and got up for the day.  I worked a full 10 hour shift then picked up Tooters went home and went for a walk then did some laundry.  Then all of the fires happened and I got called into work and was at the dispatch center by 2am.  I was released from there at 8:30 only to go to my office and continue to work until 1pm.  Keep in mind that I still have not slept. 

Then I had to go to the pharmacy and I spent 30 minutes standing in line.  I did something there that I have never done before.  I fell asleep standing up like a damn horse.  Who knew I had such talents?  I finally made it home and tried to sleep.  By 6pm I gave up trying to sleep through the dog barking and me freezing on the couch.  I was too lazy to get up and turn up the heat.  So I went to get Tooters from my friend’s house.

I called work and sure enough they needed me in by 10pm.  I took Tooters to my dad’s house and got her settled in so that I could go and get ready for work myself.  So here I am sitting at work and I think I have only had about 8 hours sleep since Monday, I think. 

Today is going to be even worse.  I will get out of dispatch at 6am only to go get Tooters and get her ready for school.  I will take her back to the office with me until time for school and shuttle her there.  I will continue across town to go to physical therapy for my shoulder.  Now instead of going home and going to bed I have to go back to work because I have some pressing paperwork that has to be done today.  Then I have to be at the specialist at 3pm to find out if I have to have tests done this afternoon or schedule surgery.  After that I still do not get to go home and go to bed I have to go to a Parent Council meeting to finalize the plans for our booth we put together for the festival this weekend.  Still no bed in sight for me because I have to take Tooters to my dad’s house then go get ready for work and be back here by 8pm. 

So my thoughts are with all of this there is no way my body is going to properly benefit from the cleanse at this point and maybe I should give up just for the day and restart tomorrow.  This will be easier because my dad is off work and can take Tooters so that I can sleep and I am not trying to split my time between two offices. 

The more I think about it the more I like this idea.  Then again I am onto day 3 and I have to waste all of the progress just to start over again.  Who knows maybe I am just rambling because I am sleepy and I cannot take a nap.  I will put a poll at the bottom please chime in and let me know your thoughts.

 

Super Mom To The Rescue

Posted in anger, Barbie, Blogroll, children, cleansing, Dolls, emergency, emotional, family, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, growing up, healing, health, help, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, pets, quit smoking, random, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 22, 2008 by Iron Mom

Wow we had an exciting night here in my part of the world.  Everything was going fine last night, Tooters was in bed sleeping and I was having some mommy time watching Biggest Loser while I exercised.  You know for some reason when I watch that show I always have the extra huge urge to amp up my exercises, I just don’t know why lol.  At the end of the episode I sat my sweaty self down to cool off and enjoy another bottle of Master Cleanse, yummy its tonsil burning good ;-p.

 

Just as I was cooling off and thinking of the warm new flannel sheets I had just put on my bed the silence was shattered by a gazillion sirens.  OMG it sounded like the world was coming to an end they just would not stop.  Just when I thought I could go to bed another round would race up the road.  Curiosity finally got the best of me and I just had to go and take a look.  So across the street I went in my tinker bell pajama pants, purple fuzzy slippers, and a cozy fluffy green bathrobe.  Boy if I was going to attract a man this was not the night.

 

I finally found out through my contacts working the area it was a fire in the creek bottom and the sheriff’s officer told me to go pack stuff I want to take with me incase I needed to evacuate at a moments notice.  I mean the fire was blazing and the wind was gusting up to 50 mph right towards my house.  The fire was only about a block away.  I got back to the house and did what I had to do then sat down to wait. 

 

But wouldn’t you know it the sirens would not stop.  Now they were racing up and down the road like they were drag racing.  Of course this woke up Tooters.  She is not freaked out by emergency stuff because my mom works for the Sheriff’s office and I work for emergency fire and the forest fires.  Once she caught site of the fire up the road that did worry her a little bit.  So I called my mom and told her to go for a ride with me because there was a several hundred-acre fire going on on the other side of town.  I thought if I could show Tooters how far I had to drive to get to the fire it would make her feel better.  Plus I figured the car ride would either calm Tooters down to be away from the fire by our house or put her back to sleep.   

 

Well I ended up taking her back to my mom’s house for the night because I got called into work and I had to race over to a friend’s house to help her pack because she might be evacuated too. 

 

Just as I was dropping Tooters and my mom off Tooters got very serious and made me promise to do something for her.  All she wanted me to do was go back to my house for a couple of things for her.  She wanted her new Barbie with the dogs, the Barbie her uncle bought for her, and her favorite doll she has been carrying around since Christmas.  The darn thing is named Sarabell Lavinia Chandelier —–.  What a mouth full for a six year old. 

 

I asked her if she was worried about the Wonder Pup and she said, “You are a good mommy you would not let anything bad happen to her, I trust you will get her out too!”

 

I thought it was so cute that she picked those items that had been bought for her by very special people to save first.

 

 My mom snuck into another room from Tooters and called me this morning at dispatch to let me know that Tooters talked about those things all night in her sleep.  What she did not know is when I ran to the house to get her school clothes for today I snuck those items into her bag just so Tooters knows I really do listen to her.   Then my cell phone rang and it was Tooters telling me how much she loved me because I saved her babies.  Needless to say today I am on cloud nine knowing that my daughter thinks I am the hero of the Barbie’s and babies.  Just think I don’t even need to fly I just needed my Kia with the spare tire on it instead of a cape lol.

Little Kid in a Big Body

Posted in Blogroll, children, cleansing, costumes, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, growing up, halloween, healing, health, help, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, quit smoking, random, sick, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2008 by Iron Mom

I know this is highly unusual that I am posting twice in one day but I am so excited Tooters and I received our costumes in the mail today.  Halloween falls on a Friday and since the state of Utah has decide we all need to work 4 10 hour shifts I am off to help at the school with their party.  You know I love having a little one in the house because it gives me the excuse to be a big kid. 

 

So, this year Tooters and I have decided to come up with a theme for our costumes.  Yes this means I am dressing up too.  We found a wonderful website that has great costumes that do not cost an arm and a leg. 

 

Tooters is going to be a cute spider witch, I will post a picture of both costumes at the bottom, and I will be a spider pixie. (The pictures are the costumes not us in them that will be later)  Now Tooters is going to look adorable as usual I just need to figure out what to do with her hair and make up.  Then I am going to squeeze my big old self into the pixie costume and pray I do not bust any seems or scare anyone away.  Then I need to decide how to do my make up.  My hair is simple it is short enough to spike, it is black and has purple streaks in it. 

 

Here is my other problem.  My friend has decided that we need to split a baby-sitter and go out to a costume party at one of the local bars that has a very good local band playing.  This is where it gets hard for me, I do not go out and the last time I was at a bar was a year ago.  I always feel awkward and out of place with all of the couples around me.  Plus with my diets and cleansing I do not drink or smoke. 

 

My friend assures me that it will be fine and we can lean on each other for security.  She is just like me, never goes out to the bars and has a hard time in crowds.  She is my friend that is single, divorced, with a daughter at home.  Either we will have a great time and party it up on our very rare night out as adults or we will end up doing what we did the other night.  We went to the movies and instead of going out afterwards we went back to her house for herbal tea and turned in early.  OMG I am turning into an old lady AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

 

So wish me luck on Halloween.  Between the school party, trick-or-treating with the kids, and then the adult party afterwards I am going to be beat on Saturday.  I do have to say I am kind of looking forward to it.  Maybe I am growing and finally realizing it is ok to have a night out like that with out feeling guilty.  After all I am human and single after all.  I will definitely let ya’ll know how it went.  I am sure I will have a couple of new stories for the blog lol.   

 

 

Tooters' spider witch dress with webby wings

Tooters

My spider pixie wings are webs like Tooter's sleeves

My spider pixie wings are webs like Tooter

P.S. This has relit the fire under my butt to re-start my cleanse and stick to it. Even if it kills me lol. 

 

 

Just A Little Help From A Wonderful Friend

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, emotional, family, friends, frustration, funny, growing up, healing, health, help, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, quit smoking, random, sick, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2008 by Iron Mom

I have to send out a huge hug and a very big thanks to one of my good friends today.  Sunday I was attacked by the stomach flu.  Every time I moved or stood up it felt like someone had stabbed me in the tummy and off to the porcelain goddess I would run.   Thankfully Tooters’ is a wonderful kid and she spent most of the day bringing me water and taking my temperature.  For some reason this gives her great pleasure when I am sick to stick that thermometer into my arm pit every chance she gets.  Hey if it keeps her happy then bring it on little one lol.  She also is very good about watching Disney (thank god for Zack and Cody) and coloring.  I almost cried when she made me a get well card all by herself.  She is in first grade so of course the spelling was crude but I will treasure it all the same. 

 

Anyways Sunday night in between trips to the bathroom and quick nap on the bathroom floor, for some reason this always seems to make me feel a little better, I called my friend to let her know that the dinner we have been trying to plan has to be put on hold until I feel better.   Then she said some very beautiful words to me,  “Since you are staying home from work why don’t you let me bring Tooters’ home for you?  That way you do not have to get up and get dressed.”

 

OMG if I could have jumped through the phone and kissed her at that moment I would have in a heart beat.  You know sometimes in life there is nothing better than good friends like that.  Plus she is a single mom and has gone through a lot of the same things that I have so she understands me and my crazy side. 

 

On a side note and I have probably said this in other posts but I think I will mention it again.  It is times like this that I get very pissed off and frustrated with the Donor.  Here I am knocking on deaths door but I am still up feeding Tooters and doing all of the mommy stuff that I do everyday instead of trying to rest and get rid of this flu.  I just imagine him being sick and lying on his mom’s couch with her waiting on him hand and foot, if not his mom then whatever girlfriend he has tricked into thinking that he is a good man.  I am not wishing to be married or back with the Donor but sometimes I do wish I had that second person in the house to help so I do not have to rely on friends and family so much.

 

So to my friend thanks and god bless you.  You are a bright shiny example of a truly

thoughtful friend and someday I hope I can return the favor. 

 

 

P.S. I gave up my Master Cleanse after a day and a half when me and my friend made plans to have lasagna rolls for dinner.  But I think I will restart it today if my tummy will not stage a mutiny and reject anything that I attempt to swallow.  I will update you on my progress if I can even get started today.  You would think this would be a good time, my tummy surely shrank from not really eating a lot and I do not really want any food right now.  Who knows what will happen so wish me luck.  Oh one last thing, it has been two weeks and I still have not smoked and I have gone one week without my anti-strangle the boss patches.

Being Healthy Is Going To Kill Me

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, emotional, family, frustration, funny, growing up, healing, health, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, pets, quit smoking, random, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 16, 2008 by Iron Mom

Wooo Hooo!!!!!  I have officially been smoke free for one week now.  I am so proud of myself for not giving in to the cravings and buying a pack of smokes.  Even better the people around me have survived my first week.  Don’t get me wrong there were a couple of close calls, and one person that almost became my personal punching bag.  So now that I have quit smoking me and a couple of my friends have decided to try the Master Cleanse fast.  The purpose of this fast is to detoxify your body.   I don’t know if this is really going to work but some of the side effects from the crap I am drinking suggest otherwise.  It is a pretty shitty situation.  I am only on day two and already I think I have flushed out that burger I had back in high school. 

 

I have done juice fasts in the past and they are great afterwards, but it never fails that this is when my friends decide they want to be nice and send home brownies and cookies.  I have a lot of focus and can usually pass it up until I am done with the fast.  However this time I am having a lot harder time because I still want to smoke and I have the munchies from hell.  So last night when I went to pick up Tooters from my friends house I walked in and there she is being all domestic, cooking and baking.  I did not want to be rude and run screaming from her house so I sat there for an hour chatting with her.

 

Let me just tell you that this was torture.  Tooters and her friend sat down for some yummy super chocolaty brownies with milk.  I zoned out and totally imagined myself jumping on the table and attacking the food like a lion in Africa that has not eaten in days.  When Tooters offered me a bite I thought if I did not walk out of there right then I might just bite more than just the brownie. 

 

To top it all off I still had to go home and finish feeding her dinner.  Fried chicken legs and pasta salad never looked so good in my life.  It was like manna from heaven just mocking me from its plate.  After Tooters went to bed I tried to stay up so I could catch Project Runway (I know a guilty pleasure) I had to find out who won.  Sorry no spoilers from me today.  Instead I ended up falling asleep right before they announced the winner.  Well when I woke up a few hours later I had rolled over on the remote and the t.v. was on the Food Network channel.  OMG what a cruel cosmic joke!!!!!!  To top it all off I am suppose to go to the movies tomorrow night with the kids and smell all of that wonderful popcorn.  I guess I am just a glutton for punishment at this point.

 

So I guess my point is, if you choose to do a fast like this don’t start near the end of the work week just to go home to cook for your family all weekend and listen to the snacks beckoning you from the kitchen in the middle of the night.  Start on Monday morning so by the time the weekend gets here you are into so far it will be easier to manage.  I am thinking right now I am going to give it up for the weekend and try to start again on Monday morning.  I know what a wimp!!!