Archive for March, 2009

To Be, Or Not To Be A Hottie??

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cute kid questions, cuteness, emotional, entertainment, exercise, family, fitness, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, school, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2009 by Iron Mom

Recently Tooters came home from school and informed me that there were two new boys at her school.  One is in 1st and the other is in kindergarten.  Well these two boys are very taken with Tooters, especially the younger one.  They have become thick as thieves at school.  Tooters even told me that one of her friends is the girlfriend to the older one and some jealous mean girl tried to break them up.  Oh the drama is starting already. 

 

Anyways the other day Tooters’ and I rode our bikes to her school. This has become our daily thing when it is not SNOWING.  Do you hear me Mother Nature quit PMS’ing and give me back my spring weather. She parked her bike I talked to my friend Dolly for a while then got on my bike to ride back to work.  Everything seemed just fine with the world. 

 

The end of the school day rolled around and back down to the school I rode to get Tooters’ and her bike, then back to work we would go so I could finish up some paperwork.  I wanted to hurry and get it done so we could get the 3.8-mile ride home finished before dark.  I told you that Tooters’ is trying to kill me riding that much in a day!!!!

 

We get back to my office and she pulls out her homework but looks like she has a load on her mind.  I just let her think about it for a while, I want her to come to me to talk about stuff when she is good and ready no pressure.  Sure enough pretty soon she tells me that we need to have a talk. 

 

T – “Mom you know my new friend in my class?” (This is the younger of the 2 boys)

 

M – “Yes, I thought you were such good friends and played together everyday?”

 

T- “We do, but something happened today and it hurt my feelings really bad.”

 

 M- “Are you going to tell me what it is?  I cannot help you figure out a solution if you do not tell me what happened.”

 

T- “He kept calling me a name all day.  He even chased me on the playground singing it and would not stop when I asked him to.  Mom it hurt my feelings!”

 

At this point her whole face just crumpled and she started to cry.  I am not talking just a few tears I am talking about the huge, super hurt, heartbreaking, flowing, alligator tears.  I scooped her up into my lap, rubbing her back while I tried to calm her down. 

 

M- “Honey just take a deep breath and tell me what he said.  I am sure we can figure this out together.”

 

T- “M-m-m-mom he kept saying (hiccup) all day (hiccup/burp) Tooters is a hottie!  Tooters is a hottie! (hiccup/cough).  It-it-it made me feel b-b-bad! (hiccup/hiccup) WWWAAAHHHH!!!!”

 

I just looked at her and thought to myself do not laugh at this little girl it will crush her even more.  Holy little girl drama batman, what do I do?  How I did not burst out laughing I am not sure, things got a little hazy at this point lol.  Calmly I explained to her what a hottie was, and that he was not saying it to be mean.  Suddenly the clouds parted, angels sang and she was bright and shiny again.  Tooters hopped off my lap and went back to her homework like nothing happened. 

 

Well I could not resist, that night I called the boys mother and told her what happened.  She is from the south and pretty proper but that is part of why I like her, she was horrified.  She said boys aren’t suppose to call girls that and she would talk to her son.  The boy’s mother told him not to use that word while I was on the phone and this was his response:

 

“Mom calling her pretty is boring and beautiful is to old fashion.  I am being hip!”

 

She was speechless and I just told her I would talk to her in the morning.  If I did not hang up the phone when I did I was going to lose it.  I thank God everyday for my Tooters, but on days like this with this much entertainment I thank him a million times over!!!! 

 

What Went Bump In The Night???

Posted in angels, Blogroll, children, cuteness, dog, emotional, entertainment, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, ghosts, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, insomnia, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, scary movie, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 24, 2009 by Iron Mom

Ok, some of the blogs that I read every morning had mentions of ghosts in them. Now I am not a jumpy type and I do not scare easy. I love to watch scary movies alone on the weekends and I believe that I have an old man ghost in my house that has been with me for several years. However they got me thinking last night about it before I went to bed and I ended up dreaming about ghosts. No nightmares just dreams, but it is what happened when I got up in the middle of the night that was funny.

Every night when Tooters’ goes to bed I turn on her stereo so she can listen to books on tape. Don’t get me wrong I still read to her but she likes to have the noise in the bedroom with her. Right now she is in the middle of the Little House On The Prairie series, I think she is on the 4th book now. I am like this also; I have a noisemaker I listen to every night.

Well last night was a really bad night for me because I had gotten some bad news and I ended up sitting in my room at one point in the evening crying. Sweet little Tooters, who I thought was playing computer, snuck into my room with some Kleenex and dried my tears for me then laid down to hug me. All she wanted to do was make me feel better. AWWWW!!!!

So when it came to bedtime she asked if I would rock her since it always makes me feel better. After she was asleep I continued to hold her for a while then carried her to her bedroom. As always I turned on her story on the CD player, put it on repeat, then went about my business of going to bed myself.

Now as some of you already know I am a pretty bad insomniac and last night was no different. I was up wandering the house several times and dreaming about ghost in between walks. Around 3am I was up wondering the house and checking my email when I heard something very strange. I live in a neighborhood so I am used to sounds plus with the noises in the house; it is just normal to hear stuff all night. However this noise was very different it only lasted a second or two then quit. This was happening every minute or so.

Now like I said I am not jumpy so I sat in the dark in my computer room and just listened to it for a while trying to figure out what it was and which room it was coming from. It sounded like a male saying, “Lo, h’lo”.

Finally I got up and went through the house looking around and checking the doors. I then stood in my dark living room calling out, “Hello, who is there?”

When I got no answer I wondered is my old man of the house finally starting to make more noise?? I slowly made my way back towards my room and heard the noise again and a lot louder coming from Tooters’ room. I went in and found out that the CD that was on the loop was skipping and a man was saying hello. I took a calming deep breath, turned off the stereo and went back to bed.

After a while I laid there thinking about it and started to giggle. Here I am a kind of small non-threatening woman, alone in a house with a dog that would rather lick you than anything else, and a 7 year old daughter. What the hell was I going to do in the middle of the night with nothing to protect myself if it really had been someone in the house? I guess I could have scared them off when I turned on the light and they saw my bed head.

Like I said I am not scared to be in my living situation, but on the other hand I think I am going to the junk store today for a cheap golf club just incase, you can never be to careful in this day and age.

What Did I Just Get Myself Into?!?!?!?!

Posted in Blogroll, children, clothes, co-workers, college, cute kid questions, cuteness, early morning, emotional, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, giving, goals, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pictures, random, resolutions, school, seasons, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 18, 2009 by Iron Mom

You know it has taken me 3 months to get here but I made it, I am officially now a college student. I am scared because I am 30 something and been out of school for so long. Luckily I am going to school online this semester and taking only two classes but I am still a little intimidated, I mean I have to learn to study and take tests all over again.

I have to admit I did take 3 classes a few years ago and did not do my best. I started out with hard classes thinking “No problem I am a smart adult, I will fly thru this thing!” OMG I was wrong. Let me just make a suggestion to everyone out there interested in college. It is not impossible for anyone, even single parents like myself, but examine what is going on around you and make sure it is a good time. I tried to do it when I had a 3 year old running around, was working full time one place, part time at another place, going through a nasty divorce, adjusting to being single again, and trying to travel in between. That is a recipe for disaster. So I am trying it again and as of today I am fully admitted, I even received all of my Pell Grant money. Wooo hooo for me!!!

Tooters is now 7 years old so I think she can handle all of it better this time. I set her down the other night and I explained to her that mommy was going back to school so I would need her help so I can pass with good grades. She looked at me and asked if I flunked something that I had to make up. I gently told her how this is good for us and will help me in my job. Then I heard my words come flying out of her mouth:

“Well you know you cannot play with your friends, the computer or anything until your homework is done. That means right after work mom, that is what you said the rule is!”

OMG what a little momma she is turning into. Even the other day riding our bikes home she made sure I was on the sidewalk behind her because it made her feel safer that I was not so close to the traffic. Crap that is what I tell her all the time. The other night I was on the phone and she overheard me cussing about something so she came into the room and reminded me that the words I was using are unacceptable and I need to remember proper manners. Holy hell I thought when I was a mommy living on my own there would be no more censorship. Well she sure showed me I guess.

I thought I would brag a little bit that I am a full fledge college student. I am stoked and so starting in May if I don’t blog as much you know where I am, hiding with my nose in a text book lol.

Open Post To The Service Man That Left Me Hanging

Posted in anger, Blogroll, co-workers, construction, early morning, emergency, emotional, family, frustration, goals, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, job, life, personal, personality, pictures, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2009 by Iron Mom

Dear Service Men/Women,

 

I would like to send out a huge thank you for everything that you do for us common folks that need you to get by on a daily basis.  With out you I would have no health care, cable, phone, Internet, and a million other services that require you to show up at my house or for me to wait in your office. 

 

However with all these wonderful things that you do for everyone everyday do you think it is ok to make us wait on you no matter how long it is??  I mean believe it or not I do have a life that I like to enjoy.  For some reason the idea of sitting around and waiting in a little stuffy waiting room with a squirmy child and listening to other screaming kids is not my idea of a fun afternoon. 

 

Just because I happen to need some work done inside my house that I need to be home for, does that mean my time is not as important as yours??  All I ask is for you to give me a better idea of what time you will be there rather than between 8 and 5.  Some of us really do have jobs and/or a family that needs to be taken care of.  Do you not realize that the less time I spend at my job earning money that means I have that much less to give to you??

 

You know if I could fix my pipes, hook up my own cable, cure my own cold or do the other things that you do, you would lose your job??  So instead of pissing people off and making them wait endless hours and losing hourly wages, up your costumer service and show up on time or pin point a time you will be there.  Don’t over book yourselves just to try and squeeze as many billable hours in as possible into one day.  Maybe next time that I am spending a whole day at home waiting on a service person I might just read a book on how to do it myself and just get it done quickly. 

 

I do however understand that there will always be things that need attention that I cannot possibly do or have the education required to perform that task.  So in these particular cases please do not talk down to me just because you went to some big fancy college.  I may not have the money that you do, the degree, or the knowledge of what you are doing, but that does not mean I don’t have the capacity to understand if explained when I ask about it.  Also does this mean that your time is more precious than mine or worth more?? 

 

I really do want to thank you for what you do and if we can all come up with a compromise for these few problems that I mentioned I think a lot of stress can be alleviated.   I am sure you can find me if you really want to discuss these problems just check your voice mail for an irate customer that was left waiting for you and you did not show up or the service was not provided properly.  I can also be found in every state and every city in the country. 

 

Sincerely,

 

The Bitchy Customer Left Hanging

 

P.S. If anyone out there can relate to any of this please feel free to leave comments at the bottom!!

Lost Marbles, Found Marbles

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, clothes, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, seasons, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 12, 2009 by Iron Mom

Today for some reason is just a frustrating day and I think I will tell a little story to lighten things around here.  This story is based on actual events, however no finger pointing will be done and the identity of the main kid will remain secret.  It will not be revealed because I am afraid of retaliation and great bodily harm lol.

 

Once upon a time there lived a brother and sister.  They were close in age and loved each other dearly even though the mother could not tell by all the fighting done during the day.  At the end of the day brother and sister were put into the bathtub together (they were still young enough to do this) to peal off several layers of dirt, grim and who knows what else.  There was extra scrubbing involved this night because of a muddy project in the backyard and the mother wanted to make sure she had brought the right kids into the house. 

 

Brother and sister had heard the term digging to China and wanted to test the theory.  They found the perfect spot in the middle of the yard, in the garden and with the help of the neighbor kids started digging.  Since it was fall and most of the garden was picked the mother watched this going on thinking,

 

 “Oh God please let them dig till they are exhausted and go to bed early tonight!”

 

Well after a couple hours and a few feet later they found out that the further down they went the more mud they found.  The mother sprang off of the porch to start pulling kids out of the hole that was several feet down before they got stuck for good.  See she did not think they would get as far as they did, but she was sadly mistaken.  The kids had dug far enough down that they were getting into a water table that part of the town sits on.  After some crying and fussing all the dirt was returned to the hole, China would have to wait for another day I guess.  Neighbor kids were sent home to their parents, brother and sister were sent to the tub. 

 

Now this is where everything got interesting and I know the mother could feel the hairs on her head going not gray but white.  The little bit of sanity that she was holding onto for the night disappeared.  What happened was not bad but it was another one of those funny kid moments that you do not dare laugh in front of them, but you just cannot help yourself.  So here we go.

 

Once it was revealed that the proper kids were in fact in the bathtub the mother rinsed them off and decided to get sister out first.  Out came the little girl and the mother set about getting her dried off and started combing out the ten feet of rats nests sitting on top of her head.  The whole time the little boy is still playing with his toys in the tub.  Just when the mother was almost done there was a blood curdling scream coming from the bathroom.  The fear was evident in the mother’s face and you could see the thoughts in her head racing through.  The little girl was quickly moved aside and the mother went from the hallway outside the bathroom to standing next to the tub in a fraction of a second. 

 

Now with all the squealing coming from the little boy you would have thought there was blood everywhere or there were missing limbs.  Instantly the little boy realized mother was standing there and he looked up with all the alligator tears on his cheeks and started freaking out.  He kept repeating over and over again,

 

“I swear mommy I didn’t do it!  I swear I did not put anything in my mouth I don’t know how they got into my body!  I promise I did not do it! WWAAAAHHHH!!!”

 

The mother for the life of her could not figure out what was going on and finally got the boy to calm down enough he could tell her what was going on.  Now when I tell you what he said just close your eyes and try to image all of this in your head.  Are you ready?  OK here it is straight out of the boy’s mouth while he is looking straight down the whole time.

 

“Mommy I swear I do not know how the marbles got in my body.  I am a big boy, I don’t put things in my mouth anymore and I don’t remember swallowing my marbles.  So I don’t know how they got there!”

 

The mother perched on her knees next to the tub staring at the little boy still not quite comprehending what he was telling her asked him if he can feel the marbles and can he point to where they are at. 

 

The little boy took a deep breath, calmly looked at his mother and point to his……… “area”.  Instantly it dawned on the mother he found his “beans” and being a toddler thought that he swallowed some marbles and they got stuck there.

 

Without a word she calmly stood up walked out of the bathroom, yelled for the boy’s father and told him he was needed in the bathroom right away.  Honestly I don’t know what happened to the mother the rest of the night she simply walked away shaking her head, giggling, and saying,

 

 “What next?”

 

So that is my story for the day, I will leave the speculation of the boy’s identity to you.  Those of you that read my story that knows who I am in the real world and you do not quite know who it is just think really hard and you will figure it out.  As for the little boy, I am soooooo sorry and please don’t hurt me lol. 

 

Have a great day everyone!!!!!!!!!

You Might Be A Parent If……..

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, clothes, co-workers, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, Dolls, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, puggle, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 3, 2009 by Iron Mom

I know this is my first post in a while but it has already been one hell of a year for me.  Between my heater going out for a whole week and finding out really bad stuff about my ex, I just have not been in the mood to blog.  Which is a huge mistake because I get such joy out of it.  So as a tribute to my readers, especially the awesome parents out there, you know who you are, here is one of my lists that people seem to enjoy so much.

 

Jeff Foxworthy has made the saying you might be a redneck if….

 

Well I have decided that I want my own catch phrase and since I always laugh at what he says this pays a little homage to him to, hence the title.  You know since I am a little redneck myself lol.  So here it goes my top ten things that make a parent a parent:

 

1. At any given time you have been in the middle of the grocery store and someone points out an unidentifiable substance on your shirt.  You being the parent first smell it and if it is not rank lick it, sending the other person away gagging into their grocery bag.  Come on it was just a little chocolate.

 

2. You go rushing out of the house in the morning to get the kids to school and in the mad dash to get them there on time you get pulled over.  After the cop looks at you like you have 2 heads and the kids in the backseat are letting you know that they are telling dad, you realize you forgot a couple of rollers on top of your head, the fluffy slippers with eyes and the fuzzy bathrobe hanging open.  You know there was a time in your life that would have gotten you out of the ticket not the other way around.

 

3. After a long day of wrestling little ones in and out of the car, fighting with a squirmy puppy, trying to make something that resembles a dinner and getting the kids into bed you try to enjoy the quiet house.  All this is shattered by the husband hollering for his clean socks, his clean towel, and his things for in the morning.  To top it all off he cannot understand why you are not “in the mood” and you do not even want to be touched.

 

4. It is later afternoon the baby is finally asleep and you have a moment to yourself while you fold a mountain of laundry and cuss out the skinny chick on television that had the baby 2 seconds ago and is complaining about wearing a size 5 instead of a 2.  This is when you realize you forgot today is your carpool day so out the door you race in your sweats praying you don’t smell to bad.  Then back into the house you go to get the sleeping baby.  Then back in the house again for the car keys that are now locked inside with the cell phone. 

 

(Let me tell you a post baby body does not slide through the bedroom window like it did fifteen years ago.  It is even worse when the dog is jumping up licking your grunting face from the bed you are trying to aim at, but instead hit the floor.  All you can do is stare at the ceiling while you are waiting for your lungs to re-inflate and think why me?)

 

5. You realize that the terms “pissed on” and “shit on” take on a whole new meaning.  I will not even elaborate on that one.  If you have had a baby you know what I am talking about. 

 

6. Your clothes are no longer your clothes.  Some how the few remaining dresses that somewhat fit and is kind of decent enough for dinner with the husband/boyfriend has become your daughters dress up clothes.  Your one pair of prized hooker heels (come on ladies admit you have a pair hidden in the closet!)  have become their princess shoes for them to wobble around the house in when you are not looking.

 

7. Personal products are no longer personal.  You walk into the bathroom to find your son and his friends shooting your tampons as hard as they can up into the air so they land in the bathtub full of water and expand so fast all they can do is giggle.

 

8.Your silverware drawer that used to have beautiful designs that matched are now mismatched and mis-sized.  This is because most of your spoons are buried in the garden and the forks have become little crucifixes for little green army men. 

 

9. One morning you stumble into work wearing clothes that are barely clean and not really matching, but the dark circles under your eyes actually match your dark shoes.  This is because you have been up all night with one or more kid, being puked on, coughed on, and snotted on.  Then you manage to get a couple of hours sleep after you dose them with nighttime medicine in the middle of the night.  OMG they then bounce out of bed in the morning with a miraculous recovery because there is a birthday party after school they just have to go to or die.

 

10. You swear on your grandmothers grave that if you hear advise or how well someone is going to raise their kids so that they do not act like your little devil spawn running circles around you and they do not have kids; well lets just say they have “by reason of insanity” for a reason. 

 

If you fit any of these then you just might be a parent lol!!!  Re-reading this post I wonder how any of us do it somedays, both with a partner and alone.

 

So welcome back me and let’s hope it gets better for the Nuthouse.  I missed everyone terribly and hope to hear from all soon.