Roll, Bounce, Splat…. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I think that today I am going to give a bright shiny example of what we say really does sink into our kid’s brains sometimes. I think that no matter how much they fight us on some of the things that we want them to do, it is just unavoidable that they do end up picking up on it.
First off I just want to say that no one was hurt in the course of what happened. I apologize in advance to my mother “The Worry Wart” but I warned her that this story might end up on my blog. Now, what everyone reading this has to understand is that my mother is very short. I am not talking just a little petite, but short. She comes in around 4’ 9” and tries to fool people into believing she is 5 foot even. I believe our friends are very kind by not saying anything to break that bubble.
Anyways the other night my mother calls me at home, she works nights so it is like her morning, sniffling a little bit into the phone asking how my day was. This is always a huge waving red flag that something happened to her during the day and she is looking for sympathy from me. However, what usually happens is I end up laughing at what she has done until she hangs up on me. It is not that I am a mean daughter or that I cannot give comfort where it is deserved. It is just when she does something it is later on when she tells me, no one was hurt and it ends up being one of those things you have to laugh at like someone stubbing their toe in a parking lot in front of you.
SM : “Ok mom what happened I can hear it in your voice?”
WW: “Well something happened today while I was trying to sleep for work. Now don’t worry I am not hurt but I had an incident involving the new bed.”
Now there is nothing about this that sounds very normal to me. In fact I am tempted to grab a notebook to take notes for later because this is going to be promising. This is because my mom has done nothing but complain since she got her new bed, so let me just back up for just a second to explain so we are all on the same page.
For 30ish some odd years my parents have slept in a waterbed that sat on a frame that was two drawers high. Add that to the tall sideboards, padded rails, and the actual waterbed mattress it ended up being up to my little mothers’ upper stomach. It was hilarious to watch her get into it. She did this little half roll thing to get in and out of it with a little hop to get up high enough to land in the bed. Finally one day my parents decided that they were going to get with the times and get a normal bed. I thought my mom was going to have a party because she would not have to hop/roll into the bed ever again.
At last the new bed was delivered and I raced over to look at it. I literally thought my mom was going to burst into tears for the first month they owned it and you mentioned bedtime. I walked into the bedroom and instantly started to laugh. It had the same type of bed stand with the drawers, a very large box spring and the mattress itself is 20 inches thick. I offered my mom the use of my stepladder and she kicked me out of the house.
So on with our story:
SM: “Mom what happened with the bed now?”
WW: “Well I got up to go to the bathroom today like normal and I actually fell out of the bed.”
Now this is where I start giggling because I know my mom so well that this is not the end of the story. Any other normal person this would have been it, but oh no not in my family there is always more to it.
WW: “Sunnymom just shut up and listen to me this was a traumatic thing that happened to me.”
I sniffed, took a long deep breath, gave up and just put my hand over the phone after telling my mom to continue.
WW: “You know that padded foot stool by the bed that Sugarbooger uses to get up into the bed?”
I think she could hear me just nodding because she did not even wait for a real response just a simple little squeak came out of me.
WW: “When I fell out of the bed I bounced my head off of the stool and it threw me into the wall. I hit my elbow on the closet and I am bruised. **sniff sniff**”
OMG the hand was off of the phone and I was in full on laugh mode. Don’t tell me you expect me to be able to respond at that point. I just keep seeing this cartoon version of my mom rolling and bouncing off the side of the bed after what is a long drop for my tiny mommy.
WW: “You know I was just looking for some sympathy and it does not like I am going to get it from you! Your father did not give any either he just asked if it I wanted to switch sides. Where is my granddaughter?!?!”
All I could do was laugh some more with the idea of my dad just calling out to her and not even moving out of the bed. (He works nights too so they are on the same sleep schedule.) Finally I told her maybe she would get the sympathy from Tooters’ instead, so I took the phone into the bedroom since she was in bed for the night. I was laughing so hard I just put the phone to her ear with out saying anything. Then she said it,
T: “Wow Grandma you were not being very aware of your surroundings now were you!”
A new round of laughing started on my end and I just walked out of the bedroom with the phone. I turned around as I went to look at Tooters and the kid was still asleep, she managed to listen and respond without waking up at all.
I got back on the phone and it was silent, I just could not understand it. At this point I could not leave well enough alone, I called my mom back to see if there was something wrong with the phones or if she fell down again. Wow you can really feel anger when you slam a phone down just the right way.
See what did I tell you, kids really do pick up on the things that we say to them everyday. If any of your other mommy friends ever doubt you just send them my way I now have proof. We will just leave out the part that she did it in her sleep.