Archive for the clothes Category

Does Your Costume Speak To You?

Posted in children, clothes, costumes, cuteness, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, fun, funny, ghosts, halloween, holiday, horror, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, random, single mom, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2009 by Iron Mom

Well it is that time of year again when we all dress up for Halloween, scare ourselves silly with movies, take the kids trick-or-treating in cold weather and indulge in a little to much candy for 2 weeks afterwards.  This also means I get to post another Halloween list. 

Keep in mind this is just for fun and my warped perspective on things.  This year I was thinking about costumes, Tooters and I love to dress up, and I realized that personality and mood has a lot to do with what you choose to wear.  I am talking more about the adults than the kids.  They tend to follow the trend more than the adults.  Let’s break it down! 

Princess – Women that dress up like a fairytale princesses love to be pampered and wants everyone to do her bidding most of the time.  She is ultra girly with a liking for sparkly long dresses made out of taffeta.  She also sees herself as a little better than the common woman and truly believes that the knight in shiny armor exists while she walks around with her head in the clouds.

Vampire – Anyone that chooses this has a dark side that they may or may not keep hidden.  They have a lust for blood, danger power and sex.  They have a controlling side that can erupt at anytime especially at night.  The women are extremely tough of both mind and body with a super sexy side.  Cunning and wit are always present whether the common man realizes it or not and they are excellent predators.

Superhero – Whether it is the side kick or the woman of the hour this is a woman with great powers of her own.  She is controlling in a good way, fights for the underdog, protects the weak and looks great doing it.  There is nothing this woman cannot do, or at least thinks so.  She has a super strength that goes with a super body even if it is a little hidden under a layer of ice cream and chocolate.  She juggles a million things at once and makes it look easy.

Witch – There is way more than meets the eye with this woman.  She is not only crafty and creative but baffling and hard to figure out.  Is she the good witch or the bad witch?  What evil/good is lurking underneath it all?  The limits to her powers are endless.  You better watch out she will cast a spell over men that keep them coming back for more without realizing why.  There is definitely mystery there and she will only let you see what she wants you to.

Animal – This is a pretty simple one.  Any woman that dresses up like an animal is showing what is hidden behind the sugar and spice she displays everyday.  She can be playful, mean, sneaky or cuddly.  She can be a tiger in or out of bed when she is alone with you.  She can also be the nurturing type that would rather wrap herself around you for protection, warmth and love.  So really this one cannot be broken down as well as the other ones.

 Clown – Oh there is so much more than meets the eye on this one, I actually see two different ones here.  Women that are funny make the greatest clowns of course and tend to love kids.  They dress up to please the little ones and make them laugh.  But on the other hand they are also hiding. Hiding a truck load of issues behind the make-up, funny wigs and goofy huge clothes.  Some of these women are a little sad on the inside but don’t want others to see it, they like to keep a happy face instead.  They deflect and avoid what is going on in their heads by being goofy on the outside.  They say tears of a clown for a reason.  

 Ultra sexy/slutty anything – This is not a loose woman so don’t let the clothes tell the story, at least for most of them.  No this woman is confidant and secure in her own skin.  This is the one night of the year it is ok to flaunt every single inch of what she was blessed with or worked for.  In every day life this might the mom down the street in sweats or the woman in the cubicle next to you that wears a boring power suit on most days.  She wants to be noticed everyday and might not know how to achieve that, so this is her way to cut loose and scream look at me I’m hot!!!!!

 So there you have it my Halloween post for the year.  I could have gone on and on but did not want to bore anyone.  Plus I have to leave something for next year lol.  Happy Halloween everyone have fun and be safe!!!!!!!  Lots of love from Tooters, Sunnymom and the Wonder Pup.

An Indulgent Then & A Rewarding Now

Posted in anger, bills, blogging, Blogroll, children, clothes, college, cuteness, deadbeat dads, early morning, emergency, emotional, exhusbands, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, giving, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, iritation, job, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, single mom, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2009 by Iron Mom

When I was a little girl I had huge ideas of how my life was going to be when I grew up. I listened intently to all the fairytales convinced that that was how real life was. Convinced that there was a prince out there just waiting for me. Waiting to come riding up on his white horse, sword waving, with a smile that I would fall in love with instantly and be there to rescue me. What he is suppose to save me from I don’t know but that is how it was suppose to happen.

Then harsh reality of adulthood sets in and those ideals faded away with my youth. Then came a bad marriage, not enough money, starting over with a child, single mom hood and the every day anxiety of raising a daughter. With that praying I am showing Tooters the right path in life so she will grow up strong and avoid the same mistakes I made. I know that she needs to make her own bad choices at times and make her own mistakes to learn from but as a mother I want to shelter her from all that.

So here I sit thinking about then and now, what a difference a few years make. Wondering how I could have done things different then kicking myself in the butt because I realize my choices made me who I am today. My choices also brought me to a place in my life that I have a career of sorts with the state, I am attending college, living paycheck to paycheck and living with my greatest accomplishment in the world. As we all grow up think about current and past choices we see what we should have done different at the time. Below is irrefutable proof of a maturing mind:

Then: Once I used to be able to party all night just to race home, shower, eat a piece of toast and go to work perky.

Now: Just the thought of a drink sends me running for the aspirin and turns my stomach. The idea of spending an evening at a bar then taking care of Tooters the next day makes a few more white hairs pop out. I would rather watch a movie at home and go to bed early.

Then: Friday night was a race to find as many people to go out with as possible. Scouting out where the hot spots were for the night and wondering how many drinks I could get the cute guy across the bar to buy me.

Now: Friday night is spent watching kid movies, doing laundry, studying or just turning in for the night before midnight. Or sitting in front of the TV with a scary movie after Tooters is finally asleep thinking OMG I am going to pay for this at 7 am when she gets up because it is after midnight.

Then: Jumping in the shower before work with the music blasting at an earsplitting level and enjoying the hot water. Being able to shave my legs and pits in peace without explaining what I am doing or why and not caring if I end up walking around the house nekkid because I forgot my clothes and a clean towel.

Now: Getting in the shower before school/work with Tooters and racing through it so that we are both done before the song ends that is on the radio. Racing out of the shower to get dressed and yelling we are in fast mode because mommy could not pry her eyes open before hitting snooze for the third time.

Then: I used to stand in front of my closet full of cute clothes that were a size 0-5 wondering which one would make my butt look the cutest for the day. Looking in my drawer and have underwear with out holes and a bra that did not have safety pins holding it together.

Now: Looking in my closet wondering which outfit is going to hide the baby pooch that will never go away and the butt that is slowly migrating south. Finding the right bra that will keep my boobs from looking like socks with sand in them. Keeping duck tape in the bedroom to tape the under wire back in place for the day.

Then: Leaving the house smelling like a girl. Every hair in perfect order as well as the make up.

Now: Lucky to escape the house with out smelling to out of place from being puked on all night. Then getting to work and remembering that I only had to time to do one eye and afraid to look in the mirror and see my hair.

Then: Working overtime at my job thinking about the new pair of boots I get to buy for going out. Knowing that all the bills were paid ahead of time and if I wanted to eat out every meal I could because it was just me.

Now: Wondering which bill I can put off for another 2 weeks because Tooters has to have medicine for her ear. Now instead of shopping the specialty shops for myself I run to the thrift store hoping they have something in my size because all my clothes are either stained or do not fit anymore just so that Tooters can have the newest movie that came out. Also praying that the can of vegetables I just threw in the stew will taste ok because that is all I have left in the cupboard.

Looking at my list I realize that my youth was spent being indulgent and selfish. Tooters is such a blessing because she made me grow up and realize there are more important things out there than myself. I enjoy every sacrifice and indulging in her wants now instead of my own. I am sad that it took such a rocky path to get here and I apologize in secret for Tooters not having a normal family like I got to have. But then again I remind myself that we went from a deplorable situation to one that is loving, safe and all mine. I get to reap the rewards everyday and the little arms wrapped around my neck at night and little lips kissing my cheek makes everything ok no matter what kind of day I have had.

Thank you Tooters for being in my life. Thank you mom and dad for your unconditional love and support. Thank you friends for letting me vent and cry when I cannot stand it anymore. Thank you to all the special people in my life for lifting my spirits when I am down.

What Did I Just Get Myself Into?!?!?!?!

Posted in Blogroll, children, clothes, co-workers, college, cute kid questions, cuteness, early morning, emotional, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, giving, goals, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pictures, random, resolutions, school, seasons, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 18, 2009 by Iron Mom

You know it has taken me 3 months to get here but I made it, I am officially now a college student. I am scared because I am 30 something and been out of school for so long. Luckily I am going to school online this semester and taking only two classes but I am still a little intimidated, I mean I have to learn to study and take tests all over again.

I have to admit I did take 3 classes a few years ago and did not do my best. I started out with hard classes thinking “No problem I am a smart adult, I will fly thru this thing!” OMG I was wrong. Let me just make a suggestion to everyone out there interested in college. It is not impossible for anyone, even single parents like myself, but examine what is going on around you and make sure it is a good time. I tried to do it when I had a 3 year old running around, was working full time one place, part time at another place, going through a nasty divorce, adjusting to being single again, and trying to travel in between. That is a recipe for disaster. So I am trying it again and as of today I am fully admitted, I even received all of my Pell Grant money. Wooo hooo for me!!!

Tooters is now 7 years old so I think she can handle all of it better this time. I set her down the other night and I explained to her that mommy was going back to school so I would need her help so I can pass with good grades. She looked at me and asked if I flunked something that I had to make up. I gently told her how this is good for us and will help me in my job. Then I heard my words come flying out of her mouth:

“Well you know you cannot play with your friends, the computer or anything until your homework is done. That means right after work mom, that is what you said the rule is!”

OMG what a little momma she is turning into. Even the other day riding our bikes home she made sure I was on the sidewalk behind her because it made her feel safer that I was not so close to the traffic. Crap that is what I tell her all the time. The other night I was on the phone and she overheard me cussing about something so she came into the room and reminded me that the words I was using are unacceptable and I need to remember proper manners. Holy hell I thought when I was a mommy living on my own there would be no more censorship. Well she sure showed me I guess.

I thought I would brag a little bit that I am a full fledge college student. I am stoked and so starting in May if I don’t blog as much you know where I am, hiding with my nose in a text book lol.

Lost Marbles, Found Marbles

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, clothes, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, seasons, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 12, 2009 by Iron Mom

Today for some reason is just a frustrating day and I think I will tell a little story to lighten things around here.  This story is based on actual events, however no finger pointing will be done and the identity of the main kid will remain secret.  It will not be revealed because I am afraid of retaliation and great bodily harm lol.

 

Once upon a time there lived a brother and sister.  They were close in age and loved each other dearly even though the mother could not tell by all the fighting done during the day.  At the end of the day brother and sister were put into the bathtub together (they were still young enough to do this) to peal off several layers of dirt, grim and who knows what else.  There was extra scrubbing involved this night because of a muddy project in the backyard and the mother wanted to make sure she had brought the right kids into the house. 

 

Brother and sister had heard the term digging to China and wanted to test the theory.  They found the perfect spot in the middle of the yard, in the garden and with the help of the neighbor kids started digging.  Since it was fall and most of the garden was picked the mother watched this going on thinking,

 

 “Oh God please let them dig till they are exhausted and go to bed early tonight!”

 

Well after a couple hours and a few feet later they found out that the further down they went the more mud they found.  The mother sprang off of the porch to start pulling kids out of the hole that was several feet down before they got stuck for good.  See she did not think they would get as far as they did, but she was sadly mistaken.  The kids had dug far enough down that they were getting into a water table that part of the town sits on.  After some crying and fussing all the dirt was returned to the hole, China would have to wait for another day I guess.  Neighbor kids were sent home to their parents, brother and sister were sent to the tub. 

 

Now this is where everything got interesting and I know the mother could feel the hairs on her head going not gray but white.  The little bit of sanity that she was holding onto for the night disappeared.  What happened was not bad but it was another one of those funny kid moments that you do not dare laugh in front of them, but you just cannot help yourself.  So here we go.

 

Once it was revealed that the proper kids were in fact in the bathtub the mother rinsed them off and decided to get sister out first.  Out came the little girl and the mother set about getting her dried off and started combing out the ten feet of rats nests sitting on top of her head.  The whole time the little boy is still playing with his toys in the tub.  Just when the mother was almost done there was a blood curdling scream coming from the bathroom.  The fear was evident in the mother’s face and you could see the thoughts in her head racing through.  The little girl was quickly moved aside and the mother went from the hallway outside the bathroom to standing next to the tub in a fraction of a second. 

 

Now with all the squealing coming from the little boy you would have thought there was blood everywhere or there were missing limbs.  Instantly the little boy realized mother was standing there and he looked up with all the alligator tears on his cheeks and started freaking out.  He kept repeating over and over again,

 

“I swear mommy I didn’t do it!  I swear I did not put anything in my mouth I don’t know how they got into my body!  I promise I did not do it! WWAAAAHHHH!!!”

 

The mother for the life of her could not figure out what was going on and finally got the boy to calm down enough he could tell her what was going on.  Now when I tell you what he said just close your eyes and try to image all of this in your head.  Are you ready?  OK here it is straight out of the boy’s mouth while he is looking straight down the whole time.

 

“Mommy I swear I do not know how the marbles got in my body.  I am a big boy, I don’t put things in my mouth anymore and I don’t remember swallowing my marbles.  So I don’t know how they got there!”

 

The mother perched on her knees next to the tub staring at the little boy still not quite comprehending what he was telling her asked him if he can feel the marbles and can he point to where they are at. 

 

The little boy took a deep breath, calmly looked at his mother and point to his……… “area”.  Instantly it dawned on the mother he found his “beans” and being a toddler thought that he swallowed some marbles and they got stuck there.

 

Without a word she calmly stood up walked out of the bathroom, yelled for the boy’s father and told him he was needed in the bathroom right away.  Honestly I don’t know what happened to the mother the rest of the night she simply walked away shaking her head, giggling, and saying,

 

 “What next?”

 

So that is my story for the day, I will leave the speculation of the boy’s identity to you.  Those of you that read my story that knows who I am in the real world and you do not quite know who it is just think really hard and you will figure it out.  As for the little boy, I am soooooo sorry and please don’t hurt me lol. 

 

Have a great day everyone!!!!!!!!!

You Might Be A Parent If……..

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, clothes, co-workers, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, Dolls, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, puggle, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 3, 2009 by Iron Mom

I know this is my first post in a while but it has already been one hell of a year for me.  Between my heater going out for a whole week and finding out really bad stuff about my ex, I just have not been in the mood to blog.  Which is a huge mistake because I get such joy out of it.  So as a tribute to my readers, especially the awesome parents out there, you know who you are, here is one of my lists that people seem to enjoy so much.

 

Jeff Foxworthy has made the saying you might be a redneck if….

 

Well I have decided that I want my own catch phrase and since I always laugh at what he says this pays a little homage to him to, hence the title.  You know since I am a little redneck myself lol.  So here it goes my top ten things that make a parent a parent:

 

1. At any given time you have been in the middle of the grocery store and someone points out an unidentifiable substance on your shirt.  You being the parent first smell it and if it is not rank lick it, sending the other person away gagging into their grocery bag.  Come on it was just a little chocolate.

 

2. You go rushing out of the house in the morning to get the kids to school and in the mad dash to get them there on time you get pulled over.  After the cop looks at you like you have 2 heads and the kids in the backseat are letting you know that they are telling dad, you realize you forgot a couple of rollers on top of your head, the fluffy slippers with eyes and the fuzzy bathrobe hanging open.  You know there was a time in your life that would have gotten you out of the ticket not the other way around.

 

3. After a long day of wrestling little ones in and out of the car, fighting with a squirmy puppy, trying to make something that resembles a dinner and getting the kids into bed you try to enjoy the quiet house.  All this is shattered by the husband hollering for his clean socks, his clean towel, and his things for in the morning.  To top it all off he cannot understand why you are not “in the mood” and you do not even want to be touched.

 

4. It is later afternoon the baby is finally asleep and you have a moment to yourself while you fold a mountain of laundry and cuss out the skinny chick on television that had the baby 2 seconds ago and is complaining about wearing a size 5 instead of a 2.  This is when you realize you forgot today is your carpool day so out the door you race in your sweats praying you don’t smell to bad.  Then back into the house you go to get the sleeping baby.  Then back in the house again for the car keys that are now locked inside with the cell phone. 

 

(Let me tell you a post baby body does not slide through the bedroom window like it did fifteen years ago.  It is even worse when the dog is jumping up licking your grunting face from the bed you are trying to aim at, but instead hit the floor.  All you can do is stare at the ceiling while you are waiting for your lungs to re-inflate and think why me?)

 

5. You realize that the terms “pissed on” and “shit on” take on a whole new meaning.  I will not even elaborate on that one.  If you have had a baby you know what I am talking about. 

 

6. Your clothes are no longer your clothes.  Some how the few remaining dresses that somewhat fit and is kind of decent enough for dinner with the husband/boyfriend has become your daughters dress up clothes.  Your one pair of prized hooker heels (come on ladies admit you have a pair hidden in the closet!)  have become their princess shoes for them to wobble around the house in when you are not looking.

 

7. Personal products are no longer personal.  You walk into the bathroom to find your son and his friends shooting your tampons as hard as they can up into the air so they land in the bathtub full of water and expand so fast all they can do is giggle.

 

8.Your silverware drawer that used to have beautiful designs that matched are now mismatched and mis-sized.  This is because most of your spoons are buried in the garden and the forks have become little crucifixes for little green army men. 

 

9. One morning you stumble into work wearing clothes that are barely clean and not really matching, but the dark circles under your eyes actually match your dark shoes.  This is because you have been up all night with one or more kid, being puked on, coughed on, and snotted on.  Then you manage to get a couple of hours sleep after you dose them with nighttime medicine in the middle of the night.  OMG they then bounce out of bed in the morning with a miraculous recovery because there is a birthday party after school they just have to go to or die.

 

10. You swear on your grandmothers grave that if you hear advise or how well someone is going to raise their kids so that they do not act like your little devil spawn running circles around you and they do not have kids; well lets just say they have “by reason of insanity” for a reason. 

 

If you fit any of these then you just might be a parent lol!!!  Re-reading this post I wonder how any of us do it somedays, both with a partner and alone.

 

So welcome back me and let’s hope it gets better for the Nuthouse.  I missed everyone terribly and hope to hear from all soon. 

 

 

 

 

 

Please Silence The Back-Seat Instructor

Posted in anger, Billy Blanks, children, clothes, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, early morning, emotional, exercise, family, fire, fitness, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, Jillian Michaels, kickboxing, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 13, 2009 by Iron Mom

I honestly do not know what has gotten into me lately but I have decided that I am not busy enough in my life at the Nuthouse, here is why.  As of yesterday I am now a half time college student starting classes this summer.  Why I picked that time I really don’t know since that is the start of fire season.  Fire season for me is pure hell.  I work my regular job plus back up dispatch for the fire center, which means a lot of night shifts.  But I cannot pass up all of the easy overtime no matter how zombie like I am during the day.  Well at least I can study all I want at night when it is quiet. 

 

Since I am finally no longer sick, I have had a bad cold for 2 months now, I have decided to throw myself back into exercising.  However since I work ten-hour days I struggled with how I was going to squeeze in a work out on the days I am working.  Then it hit me, since I am an insomniac I should get up before the butt crack of dawn and put in one of my work out DVD’s.  This was just a brilliant plan until Monday morning came along and the alarm clock went off at 4:30.  What in the hell what I thinking?  Naturally I hit the snooze button a couple of times, but I had forgotten I set a back up alarm the night before.  So at 4:50 Tooters’ alarm clock in her room started going off.  Bless that child she has learned wonderful things from me and hit the snooze button on her clock too lol. 

 

I actually did get up 5 minutes later and stumbled into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot so it would be ready by the time I was done.  I got dressed and Tooters followed me out to the living room to see what I was up to.  This always stresses me out a little bit because she is a back-seat instructor and the dog wants to play.  I told Tooters she could be in the room with me but she either had to exercise with me or stay quiet.  I plugged in Jillian Michael’s kickboxing and went about my business.  I hate her at the time but I do believe I have a little girl crush on her especially after The Biggest Loser. 

 

Pretty soon I glanced behind me to check on my kiddo and there she is relaxing on the couch with the blanket up to her chin and her hand over her mouth.  That snot is doing everything that she can not to laugh at me out loud.  I swear to you that she was the prettiest shade of purple and I just knew that she was going to explode before to long.  This was really not the best time for me to see this since I was hot and panting like the dog.  Then here came the comments:

 

“Mom you are not keeping up with Jillian.”

 

“Mom you are not kicking high enough.” 

 

“Mom you are supposed to move your hands like Jillian.”

 

“Why are you stopping the DVD is not over yet?”

 

“They are not stopping for water, and why are you bent over like that?”

 

“What is that look for I am just trying to help?”

 

Finally I told her to come and show me how it is done since she is proving to be the expert.  OMG I thought I was going to die laughing at how hard she was trying but just not quite getting it right.  She gets an “A” for effort in my book though.  After it was finished and we were getting ready to leave the house she informed me that we need to practice, of course I agreed and herded her out the door.

 

We got to my office around 6am and the poor thing was plain worn out when we got there.  She pushed two chairs together, balled up her jacket for a pillow, curled up under the blanket I keep at my desk and went back to sleep until it was time for school.  It was adorable and horrible at the same time.  I would have given my left toe to be back asleep like that.

 

This morning as sore as I was I decided that I would get up at the same time and work out to Billy Blanks ab boot camp.  You know I hate all of these fitness people at the time because I am hurting and realizing that I just cannot keep up so I blast my music while they are on mute.  In my mind it eases the pain.  Well I hit snooze as usual but this time Tooters pushed her cold little toes into my leg (she sneaks into my bed regularly) and told me to get up it is time to exercise.  I could not let my daughter who looks up to me think I am some kind of wimp, so I forced me and my jello legs out of bed and got dressed.

 

Thank goodness Tooters decided to do the whole routine with me instead of staying on the couch.  She said that this is because she can do the floor exercises easier.  We got about ten minutes into it and I was starting to get hot so I pealed off my shirt and was down to my sports bra (no safety pins today) and sweat pants.  Man am I a site to behold in this get up.  I am glad that most of the world is still asleep at this time and not driving pass my partially open windows seeing my tummy bouncing around.  Tooters suddenly looked at me and said that she just cannot exercise this way and disappeared down the hall.  This was ok because this meant that the Wonder Pup would follow her and there would be no laughing when I start huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf in Tigger sweat pants. 

 

After a couple of minutes I could hear her running up the hallway and hollering that she was coming.  She rounded the corner and I thought I was going to die.  Tooters had changed out of her nightclothes and put on bright pink sweat pants with her bikini top that looks like my sports bra.  She even put on her tennis shoes and announced that now she could properly finish her work out.  She really uses the word properly a lot.  Holy crap on a cracker (still my favorite saying) she kicked my ass on the floor exercises!!!  This is very sad that I was out done by a 6 year old.  There will be a funeral for my ego in the near future.

 

This put me to so much shame that I think tonight I will “forget” to set her alarm clock and just sneak out of bed to do my stuff alone.  My luck she will jump up and join me anyways.  So please say a prayer for me that I will be able to still move in the morning and that I do not strangle the backseat instructor on the couch. 

The 2009 Mommy List

Posted in anger, Blogroll, boss, children, clothes, cuteness, dog, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, giving generousity, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, holiday, hope, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, new years, parenting, personal, personality, pets, pictures, quit smoking, random, resolutions, seasons, shopping, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2009 by Iron Mom

As a mother I am accustomed to giving up things for Tooters on a daily basis.  Don’t get me wrong I am not complaining in the least, but I have recently sat down and really looked at what needs I have that are just not being met.  Which is totally my fault and I actually love the joy it brings me to give up something so that I can put a smile on Tooters face.  Even if me and my sanity suffer in the long run.

 

This brought me to thinking about my New Year’s resolutions.  Does anyone ever really fulfill their resolutions or just talk about them for 6 months before only to be forgotten with in weeks of the New Year?  So instead of making some ridiculous resolution list that I am going to bag in a few weeks then spend my time feeling guilty about.  I decided to make a realistic mommy list of things that I am going to do for myself throughout the year that I neglect regularly.  After reviewing my list I think all mom’s both married and single should make one. Here are the ten top things I am going to do for myself in 2009.

 

1.     Go bra shopping before I am down to the only one that I own that is held together by safety pins.

 

 Yes sadly to say I am sitting here in a bra that I am praying will make it another couple of weeks and no one thinks the funny lump under my shirt is a nipple piercing.  I already have purple and black hair and tattoo’s, I don’t need people looking at me like I am a complete freak. (Personally I hate to shop for a new bra it is a waste of precious time that I could spend on other activities.)

 

2.     Take an extra few minutes in the morning to actually enjoy a hot shower, and maybe even use the different settings on the showerhead.  Shut up you perverts not for that!!

 

I totally race through my showers and even have it down to getting in and out before a full song can play on my stereo.

 

3.     Let the dishes pile up in the sink for a night so that I can enjoy a hot cup of tea and read a grown up book.  Again perverts keep it in check, I am talking about my murder mystery books.

 

As much as I love to read Dr. Suess or Fancy Nancy to Tooters it would be nice to get back to reading the types of book I did before she was born.  At least more than one or two pages at a time, which is what I do now before Tooters demands my attention.

 

4.     Find time to exercise in peace without Tooters trying to imitate me and the Wonder Pup thinking it is playtime. 

 

Tooters loves it when I pull out my exercise DVD’s, because after giving it a 5 minute effort to keep up she just ends up laughing at me and asking why I am not doing it like the ladies on the DVD.  The Wonder Pup thinks she is helping every time I do the floor exercises by jumping on my stomach that is already sore. 

 

5.     Buy myself a new pair of jeans that actually fits so that I don’t look like some saggy ass stoner from behind. 

 

In the last year I have lost a little over 50 pounds and now none of my clothes fit properly.  They either are falling off of my body or the last 2 pairs that do some what fit are starting to fray.  I am a little afraid every time I bend down that my thighs or ass are going to come flying out.  Heck I might as well add a new shirt while I am at it.  I look like Omar the tent maker is my stylist.

 

6.     Buy new underwear that fit and are not full of holes. 

 

Again since the weight-loss I have not invested in new underwear, another waste of time for me.  However now I have the biggest granny panties you have ever seen and I need suspenders just to keep them up.  Maybe I could just hook them to my safety pins on my bra and start a new trend.  Not to mention that most have holes in them and I have to be careful where I grip them to pull them up.

 

7.     Grocery shop in peace.

 

All you mothers out there know what I am talking about so I will not elaborate on this one.

 

8.     Go to bed early. 

 

Instead of trying to pick up toys, straighten the house, or squeeze in one more load of laundry just bag it all and go to bed right after Tooter’s is asleep.  I am an insomniac but sometimes it would be nice to see what it is like to be able to be in bed for more than 5 or 6 hours in a single night even if I end up watch late night T.V.

 

9.     Ban Miley Cyrus from my car stereo.

 

Tooters and I love good loud music (is there any other kind) when we are in the car, but when I am on main street and she has her window down I tend to slump down in my seat and if I am wearing a hat pull it a little lower.  People tend to notice me before seeing my 6 year old in the back seat and I end up looking like an old freak.  You know sometimes I just need a good old fashion cuss fill grown up song to rock out to.

 

10. Quit smoking for good this time.

 

Oh hell I had to have at least one hard one in there.  I know I quit a few months ago but the holidays are so hard for me I could not take it and started up in the last month.  So I broke out the anti-strangle everyone patches and slapped one on.  I even let Tooters break my last two smokes and throw them away. 

 

So there you go there is my list.  I know this post was kind of long for me and I apologize but I just had to share.  I would love for some of you mommies out there to share what would be on your mommy list.  Happy New Year’s everybody I hope it is a good one!!!

Trying to look happy for a Monday!!

Trying to look happy for a Monday!!