Archive for the dog Category

The Neighborhood Cujo

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, dog, emergency, emotional, exercise, family, frustration, help, hope, horror, humor, iritation, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, pets, pictures, puggle, random, scary movie, single mom, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2009 by Iron Mom

With my insane schedule right now I worry about not spending enough time with Tooter’s, so I have been making an extra effort to make sure she is getting the attention she needs.  I take one day every weekend and we go do something special, then I come home and hit the books hard.  I usually end up studying until midnight but I think that the trade off is worth it.  Anyways in order to keep my sanity Tooter’s and I have been jogging at night with the Wonder Pup.  Last night we ate kind of late so we just walked the neighborhood instead and boy was it eventful. 

 

We did our usual route all up and down a couple of streets before coming to the through street we turn on.  Everything was normal, you know the usual kids out playing in the street, occasional dogs wondering around and typical neighborhood noises.  Well when we got close to the intersection that brings us back to our road it happened…… we were attacked.

 

Really I am not joking!  There is this house with a cute three foot wooden fence in front that we were walking by with a couple of big dogs in the yard.  Now the Wonder Pup cannot see through the fence so she does not pay attention to the dogs unless they come over and bark at her first.  This doesn’t bother me because they are just talking to us and protecting their yard.  But last night was different the huge rotwieller that weighs more than me actually jumped the fence. 

 

Ok I am not afraid of dogs but watching this thing fly over the fence put the image of Cujo in my head.  I managed to shove Tooters out of the way so she would not get bitten, at the same time looking up for the owners.  The Wonder Pup was scared and trying to bark while hiding behind me at the same time.  All this did was piss off the dog even more and made it chase her around me to get at her.  I ended up turning circles to keep the rot away from the Wonder Pup and try to keep from getting bit myself.  Poor Tooters was scared but I don’t remember hearing her scream or cry, however when it was done I saw a few tears that escaped.  

 

Anyways all I could think to do was scream, “Help me! Help me! Come get your dog!” 

 

I did this over and over for what seemed like eternity until the man came out of the house to get his horror machine.  He did ask me if the dog bit anyone.  The thing is he asked it like he was asking about my day, very calm like this is a normal conversation for him.  I told him that the dog flew over the fence and came after the Wonder Pup and me. 

 

Now here is where things heated up.   I was so scared and full of adrenaline that we started walking away still trying to process what happened.  The wife came flying out of the door and called me a liar because the dog did not bite anyone.  I calmly told her I did not say the dog bit us just that it came after us.  She looked at me like I was a piece of shit on her shoe and informed me the monster is friendly and would not hurt anyone. 

 

I beg to differ after seeing it launch itself at us but I did not want to get into a fight with her in front of Tooters.  I just wanted to get us safely home, check every inch of us for damage and cuddle Tooters till we both stopped shaking.  The bitch kept giving me the stink eye and saying nothing really happened.  You know I managed to keep my cool for as long as I could and tried to keep going towards home, but I finally just had to say something.  So I informed her that if my daughter has even a drool mark on her she would be in a world of shit and I would call animal control. 

 

This is just an empty threat but it made me feel better at the time.  The fear of retaliation kept me from calling anyone since I just live around the corner.  It is times like this I have to be extra cautious since it is just the three of us in the house.  Plus the Wonder Pup is outside all day while we are gone and what would stop them from harming her.  This is also the time of year I start working at nights as well so I cannot protect the house. 

 

I got home, calmed down and checked everyone for marks.  Wouldn’t you know it the only one that came out of it with a mark was me; I have a nice little bruise from one of the teeth.  Needless to say I am sitting here today reconsidering calling someone about that dog.  It is not fair to us that we can no longer walk that part of the neighborhood with the fear of being attacked again.  What’s to say next time the stupid monster actually bites one of us??

 

Tooters did tell me as she was getting into bed that she is going to save up for a dog bigger than Cujo around the corner so it can protect the Wonder Pup and us from being attacked again.   This was so sweet I just hugged her and hugged her until it was time to read to her. 

 

I just want to play, I swear

I just want to play, I swear

P.S. I found out that reading my psychology book to her at night helps me study and man does it put her out quick lol.

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Do You Have A Little Marley In Your House??

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, cuteness, dog, Dolls, emotional, entertainment, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, growing up, healing, hope, humor, iritation, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, pictures, puggle, random, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized on April 11, 2009 by Iron Mom

Tooters and I watched a touching movie tonight that gave me the urge to write. We sat up and watched “Marley and Me”. If you have not seen this movie I highly suggest that you do. It is one of the feel good type of movies that makes you smile and leaves you crying at the end. Not only that but it makes me want to wrap up Tooters and the Wonder Pup in an extra big hug and love them with every part of my body.

We all have a little Marley in our lives mine just came in the form of a puggle. At the end of the movie the main guy points out how dogs loves us not for what we are or what we have but just for taking care of them, loving them and being there. I think if the whole world had a little more Marley that it would be a nicer place to live and love.

My little piece of Marley chews underwear, dolls, trash and everything in between. I am not even sure how most of it gets digested but it does. But no matter how much the Wonder Pup chews, barks, jumps on people, or misbehaves we love her just the same. She is always there when we get home for the day excited just because we walked through the door. We go to bed at night and she is so eager to get into the bed with me just to be hugged and loved.

This brings me to a funny little story that happened tonight. Tooters and I got home around 10:00. As usual I got my house key out and we walked up to the door. Earlier in the day I had opened the blinds on my side door to let the sunlight in and forgot to shut them before leaving. Well we peeked in to see what the Wonder Pup was doing and she was asleep on her princess pillow. I don’t know what made me do it, but instead of just opening the door like normal people I rattled it like I was trying to break in.

Now normal dogs would bark their heads off with their hair standing up on the neck ready to kill who ever was trying to come into their home. But not my Wonder Pup! The Marley in her came out full force. She jumped off of her pillow and ran straight into her cage that I keep in the kitchen with the door open. There among her pillow and blankets she hid from us. Tooters and I melted in a fit of giggles as I rattled the door some more. When we looked in to see what was happening I saw just one black eye and ear peeking out of the cage door looking at the noise. Quick as a flash she ran up the hallway towards the bedrooms then peared around the corner with just the one eye and ear again. Tooters and I probably looked like a couple of goons standing on my side step rattling the door and giggling until our sides hurt. Finally I opened the door and the Wonder Pup tackled us in a fit of licking like usual.

In the short time I had left my little piece of Marley she had managed to find Tooters’ Polly Pockets and chew them. I am sure I will be finding pieces of rubber clothes in her poop in the yard in the next few days. But in spite of all this we love our Wonder Pup no matter what she does. We may get mad at her less then stellar behavior sometimes but she is ours and we know that she loves us back above all else.

This just proves that she is all bark and sometimes not even that lol. I just hope that she lives a very long time so we can continue to have her in our lives. I may not have a big family or even a normal one, but I have my girls. The three of us fill my house with noises of love and happiness that I will treasure forever. I would not give it up for the world.

When I dreamed of a family as a kid I never thought that this is the type of family I would end up with. However it is mine and we are rich with love and that is more than I could ever have asked for. So with that I am headed to my bed for the night to cuddle with my daughter and Wonder Pup. I will fight for room and covers but do it willing and very happily.

 Good night everyone!!!!

I'm really good when I am asleep!!

I'm really good when I am asleep!!

What Went Bump In The Night???

Posted in angels, Blogroll, children, cuteness, dog, emotional, entertainment, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, ghosts, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, insomnia, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, scary movie, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 24, 2009 by Iron Mom

Ok, some of the blogs that I read every morning had mentions of ghosts in them. Now I am not a jumpy type and I do not scare easy. I love to watch scary movies alone on the weekends and I believe that I have an old man ghost in my house that has been with me for several years. However they got me thinking last night about it before I went to bed and I ended up dreaming about ghosts. No nightmares just dreams, but it is what happened when I got up in the middle of the night that was funny.

Every night when Tooters’ goes to bed I turn on her stereo so she can listen to books on tape. Don’t get me wrong I still read to her but she likes to have the noise in the bedroom with her. Right now she is in the middle of the Little House On The Prairie series, I think she is on the 4th book now. I am like this also; I have a noisemaker I listen to every night.

Well last night was a really bad night for me because I had gotten some bad news and I ended up sitting in my room at one point in the evening crying. Sweet little Tooters, who I thought was playing computer, snuck into my room with some Kleenex and dried my tears for me then laid down to hug me. All she wanted to do was make me feel better. AWWWW!!!!

So when it came to bedtime she asked if I would rock her since it always makes me feel better. After she was asleep I continued to hold her for a while then carried her to her bedroom. As always I turned on her story on the CD player, put it on repeat, then went about my business of going to bed myself.

Now as some of you already know I am a pretty bad insomniac and last night was no different. I was up wandering the house several times and dreaming about ghost in between walks. Around 3am I was up wondering the house and checking my email when I heard something very strange. I live in a neighborhood so I am used to sounds plus with the noises in the house; it is just normal to hear stuff all night. However this noise was very different it only lasted a second or two then quit. This was happening every minute or so.

Now like I said I am not jumpy so I sat in the dark in my computer room and just listened to it for a while trying to figure out what it was and which room it was coming from. It sounded like a male saying, “Lo, h’lo”.

Finally I got up and went through the house looking around and checking the doors. I then stood in my dark living room calling out, “Hello, who is there?”

When I got no answer I wondered is my old man of the house finally starting to make more noise?? I slowly made my way back towards my room and heard the noise again and a lot louder coming from Tooters’ room. I went in and found out that the CD that was on the loop was skipping and a man was saying hello. I took a calming deep breath, turned off the stereo and went back to bed.

After a while I laid there thinking about it and started to giggle. Here I am a kind of small non-threatening woman, alone in a house with a dog that would rather lick you than anything else, and a 7 year old daughter. What the hell was I going to do in the middle of the night with nothing to protect myself if it really had been someone in the house? I guess I could have scared them off when I turned on the light and they saw my bed head.

Like I said I am not scared to be in my living situation, but on the other hand I think I am going to the junk store today for a cheap golf club just incase, you can never be to careful in this day and age.

Lost Marbles, Found Marbles

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, clothes, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, seasons, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 12, 2009 by Iron Mom

Today for some reason is just a frustrating day and I think I will tell a little story to lighten things around here.  This story is based on actual events, however no finger pointing will be done and the identity of the main kid will remain secret.  It will not be revealed because I am afraid of retaliation and great bodily harm lol.

 

Once upon a time there lived a brother and sister.  They were close in age and loved each other dearly even though the mother could not tell by all the fighting done during the day.  At the end of the day brother and sister were put into the bathtub together (they were still young enough to do this) to peal off several layers of dirt, grim and who knows what else.  There was extra scrubbing involved this night because of a muddy project in the backyard and the mother wanted to make sure she had brought the right kids into the house. 

 

Brother and sister had heard the term digging to China and wanted to test the theory.  They found the perfect spot in the middle of the yard, in the garden and with the help of the neighbor kids started digging.  Since it was fall and most of the garden was picked the mother watched this going on thinking,

 

 “Oh God please let them dig till they are exhausted and go to bed early tonight!”

 

Well after a couple hours and a few feet later they found out that the further down they went the more mud they found.  The mother sprang off of the porch to start pulling kids out of the hole that was several feet down before they got stuck for good.  See she did not think they would get as far as they did, but she was sadly mistaken.  The kids had dug far enough down that they were getting into a water table that part of the town sits on.  After some crying and fussing all the dirt was returned to the hole, China would have to wait for another day I guess.  Neighbor kids were sent home to their parents, brother and sister were sent to the tub. 

 

Now this is where everything got interesting and I know the mother could feel the hairs on her head going not gray but white.  The little bit of sanity that she was holding onto for the night disappeared.  What happened was not bad but it was another one of those funny kid moments that you do not dare laugh in front of them, but you just cannot help yourself.  So here we go.

 

Once it was revealed that the proper kids were in fact in the bathtub the mother rinsed them off and decided to get sister out first.  Out came the little girl and the mother set about getting her dried off and started combing out the ten feet of rats nests sitting on top of her head.  The whole time the little boy is still playing with his toys in the tub.  Just when the mother was almost done there was a blood curdling scream coming from the bathroom.  The fear was evident in the mother’s face and you could see the thoughts in her head racing through.  The little girl was quickly moved aside and the mother went from the hallway outside the bathroom to standing next to the tub in a fraction of a second. 

 

Now with all the squealing coming from the little boy you would have thought there was blood everywhere or there were missing limbs.  Instantly the little boy realized mother was standing there and he looked up with all the alligator tears on his cheeks and started freaking out.  He kept repeating over and over again,

 

“I swear mommy I didn’t do it!  I swear I did not put anything in my mouth I don’t know how they got into my body!  I promise I did not do it! WWAAAAHHHH!!!”

 

The mother for the life of her could not figure out what was going on and finally got the boy to calm down enough he could tell her what was going on.  Now when I tell you what he said just close your eyes and try to image all of this in your head.  Are you ready?  OK here it is straight out of the boy’s mouth while he is looking straight down the whole time.

 

“Mommy I swear I do not know how the marbles got in my body.  I am a big boy, I don’t put things in my mouth anymore and I don’t remember swallowing my marbles.  So I don’t know how they got there!”

 

The mother perched on her knees next to the tub staring at the little boy still not quite comprehending what he was telling her asked him if he can feel the marbles and can he point to where they are at. 

 

The little boy took a deep breath, calmly looked at his mother and point to his……… “area”.  Instantly it dawned on the mother he found his “beans” and being a toddler thought that he swallowed some marbles and they got stuck there.

 

Without a word she calmly stood up walked out of the bathroom, yelled for the boy’s father and told him he was needed in the bathroom right away.  Honestly I don’t know what happened to the mother the rest of the night she simply walked away shaking her head, giggling, and saying,

 

 “What next?”

 

So that is my story for the day, I will leave the speculation of the boy’s identity to you.  Those of you that read my story that knows who I am in the real world and you do not quite know who it is just think really hard and you will figure it out.  As for the little boy, I am soooooo sorry and please don’t hurt me lol. 

 

Have a great day everyone!!!!!!!!!

You Might Be A Parent If……..

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, clothes, co-workers, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, Dolls, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, puggle, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 3, 2009 by Iron Mom

I know this is my first post in a while but it has already been one hell of a year for me.  Between my heater going out for a whole week and finding out really bad stuff about my ex, I just have not been in the mood to blog.  Which is a huge mistake because I get such joy out of it.  So as a tribute to my readers, especially the awesome parents out there, you know who you are, here is one of my lists that people seem to enjoy so much.

 

Jeff Foxworthy has made the saying you might be a redneck if….

 

Well I have decided that I want my own catch phrase and since I always laugh at what he says this pays a little homage to him to, hence the title.  You know since I am a little redneck myself lol.  So here it goes my top ten things that make a parent a parent:

 

1. At any given time you have been in the middle of the grocery store and someone points out an unidentifiable substance on your shirt.  You being the parent first smell it and if it is not rank lick it, sending the other person away gagging into their grocery bag.  Come on it was just a little chocolate.

 

2. You go rushing out of the house in the morning to get the kids to school and in the mad dash to get them there on time you get pulled over.  After the cop looks at you like you have 2 heads and the kids in the backseat are letting you know that they are telling dad, you realize you forgot a couple of rollers on top of your head, the fluffy slippers with eyes and the fuzzy bathrobe hanging open.  You know there was a time in your life that would have gotten you out of the ticket not the other way around.

 

3. After a long day of wrestling little ones in and out of the car, fighting with a squirmy puppy, trying to make something that resembles a dinner and getting the kids into bed you try to enjoy the quiet house.  All this is shattered by the husband hollering for his clean socks, his clean towel, and his things for in the morning.  To top it all off he cannot understand why you are not “in the mood” and you do not even want to be touched.

 

4. It is later afternoon the baby is finally asleep and you have a moment to yourself while you fold a mountain of laundry and cuss out the skinny chick on television that had the baby 2 seconds ago and is complaining about wearing a size 5 instead of a 2.  This is when you realize you forgot today is your carpool day so out the door you race in your sweats praying you don’t smell to bad.  Then back into the house you go to get the sleeping baby.  Then back in the house again for the car keys that are now locked inside with the cell phone. 

 

(Let me tell you a post baby body does not slide through the bedroom window like it did fifteen years ago.  It is even worse when the dog is jumping up licking your grunting face from the bed you are trying to aim at, but instead hit the floor.  All you can do is stare at the ceiling while you are waiting for your lungs to re-inflate and think why me?)

 

5. You realize that the terms “pissed on” and “shit on” take on a whole new meaning.  I will not even elaborate on that one.  If you have had a baby you know what I am talking about. 

 

6. Your clothes are no longer your clothes.  Some how the few remaining dresses that somewhat fit and is kind of decent enough for dinner with the husband/boyfriend has become your daughters dress up clothes.  Your one pair of prized hooker heels (come on ladies admit you have a pair hidden in the closet!)  have become their princess shoes for them to wobble around the house in when you are not looking.

 

7. Personal products are no longer personal.  You walk into the bathroom to find your son and his friends shooting your tampons as hard as they can up into the air so they land in the bathtub full of water and expand so fast all they can do is giggle.

 

8.Your silverware drawer that used to have beautiful designs that matched are now mismatched and mis-sized.  This is because most of your spoons are buried in the garden and the forks have become little crucifixes for little green army men. 

 

9. One morning you stumble into work wearing clothes that are barely clean and not really matching, but the dark circles under your eyes actually match your dark shoes.  This is because you have been up all night with one or more kid, being puked on, coughed on, and snotted on.  Then you manage to get a couple of hours sleep after you dose them with nighttime medicine in the middle of the night.  OMG they then bounce out of bed in the morning with a miraculous recovery because there is a birthday party after school they just have to go to or die.

 

10. You swear on your grandmothers grave that if you hear advise or how well someone is going to raise their kids so that they do not act like your little devil spawn running circles around you and they do not have kids; well lets just say they have “by reason of insanity” for a reason. 

 

If you fit any of these then you just might be a parent lol!!!  Re-reading this post I wonder how any of us do it somedays, both with a partner and alone.

 

So welcome back me and let’s hope it gets better for the Nuthouse.  I missed everyone terribly and hope to hear from all soon. 

 

 

 

 

 

Please Silence The Back-Seat Instructor

Posted in anger, Billy Blanks, children, clothes, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, early morning, emotional, exercise, family, fire, fitness, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, Jillian Michaels, kickboxing, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 13, 2009 by Iron Mom

I honestly do not know what has gotten into me lately but I have decided that I am not busy enough in my life at the Nuthouse, here is why.  As of yesterday I am now a half time college student starting classes this summer.  Why I picked that time I really don’t know since that is the start of fire season.  Fire season for me is pure hell.  I work my regular job plus back up dispatch for the fire center, which means a lot of night shifts.  But I cannot pass up all of the easy overtime no matter how zombie like I am during the day.  Well at least I can study all I want at night when it is quiet. 

 

Since I am finally no longer sick, I have had a bad cold for 2 months now, I have decided to throw myself back into exercising.  However since I work ten-hour days I struggled with how I was going to squeeze in a work out on the days I am working.  Then it hit me, since I am an insomniac I should get up before the butt crack of dawn and put in one of my work out DVD’s.  This was just a brilliant plan until Monday morning came along and the alarm clock went off at 4:30.  What in the hell what I thinking?  Naturally I hit the snooze button a couple of times, but I had forgotten I set a back up alarm the night before.  So at 4:50 Tooters’ alarm clock in her room started going off.  Bless that child she has learned wonderful things from me and hit the snooze button on her clock too lol. 

 

I actually did get up 5 minutes later and stumbled into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot so it would be ready by the time I was done.  I got dressed and Tooters followed me out to the living room to see what I was up to.  This always stresses me out a little bit because she is a back-seat instructor and the dog wants to play.  I told Tooters she could be in the room with me but she either had to exercise with me or stay quiet.  I plugged in Jillian Michael’s kickboxing and went about my business.  I hate her at the time but I do believe I have a little girl crush on her especially after The Biggest Loser. 

 

Pretty soon I glanced behind me to check on my kiddo and there she is relaxing on the couch with the blanket up to her chin and her hand over her mouth.  That snot is doing everything that she can not to laugh at me out loud.  I swear to you that she was the prettiest shade of purple and I just knew that she was going to explode before to long.  This was really not the best time for me to see this since I was hot and panting like the dog.  Then here came the comments:

 

“Mom you are not keeping up with Jillian.”

 

“Mom you are not kicking high enough.” 

 

“Mom you are supposed to move your hands like Jillian.”

 

“Why are you stopping the DVD is not over yet?”

 

“They are not stopping for water, and why are you bent over like that?”

 

“What is that look for I am just trying to help?”

 

Finally I told her to come and show me how it is done since she is proving to be the expert.  OMG I thought I was going to die laughing at how hard she was trying but just not quite getting it right.  She gets an “A” for effort in my book though.  After it was finished and we were getting ready to leave the house she informed me that we need to practice, of course I agreed and herded her out the door.

 

We got to my office around 6am and the poor thing was plain worn out when we got there.  She pushed two chairs together, balled up her jacket for a pillow, curled up under the blanket I keep at my desk and went back to sleep until it was time for school.  It was adorable and horrible at the same time.  I would have given my left toe to be back asleep like that.

 

This morning as sore as I was I decided that I would get up at the same time and work out to Billy Blanks ab boot camp.  You know I hate all of these fitness people at the time because I am hurting and realizing that I just cannot keep up so I blast my music while they are on mute.  In my mind it eases the pain.  Well I hit snooze as usual but this time Tooters pushed her cold little toes into my leg (she sneaks into my bed regularly) and told me to get up it is time to exercise.  I could not let my daughter who looks up to me think I am some kind of wimp, so I forced me and my jello legs out of bed and got dressed.

 

Thank goodness Tooters decided to do the whole routine with me instead of staying on the couch.  She said that this is because she can do the floor exercises easier.  We got about ten minutes into it and I was starting to get hot so I pealed off my shirt and was down to my sports bra (no safety pins today) and sweat pants.  Man am I a site to behold in this get up.  I am glad that most of the world is still asleep at this time and not driving pass my partially open windows seeing my tummy bouncing around.  Tooters suddenly looked at me and said that she just cannot exercise this way and disappeared down the hall.  This was ok because this meant that the Wonder Pup would follow her and there would be no laughing when I start huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf in Tigger sweat pants. 

 

After a couple of minutes I could hear her running up the hallway and hollering that she was coming.  She rounded the corner and I thought I was going to die.  Tooters had changed out of her nightclothes and put on bright pink sweat pants with her bikini top that looks like my sports bra.  She even put on her tennis shoes and announced that now she could properly finish her work out.  She really uses the word properly a lot.  Holy crap on a cracker (still my favorite saying) she kicked my ass on the floor exercises!!!  This is very sad that I was out done by a 6 year old.  There will be a funeral for my ego in the near future.

 

This put me to so much shame that I think tonight I will “forget” to set her alarm clock and just sneak out of bed to do my stuff alone.  My luck she will jump up and join me anyways.  So please say a prayer for me that I will be able to still move in the morning and that I do not strangle the backseat instructor on the couch. 

The 2009 Mommy List

Posted in anger, Blogroll, boss, children, clothes, cuteness, dog, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, giving generousity, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, holiday, hope, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, new years, parenting, personal, personality, pets, pictures, quit smoking, random, resolutions, seasons, shopping, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2009 by Iron Mom

As a mother I am accustomed to giving up things for Tooters on a daily basis.  Don’t get me wrong I am not complaining in the least, but I have recently sat down and really looked at what needs I have that are just not being met.  Which is totally my fault and I actually love the joy it brings me to give up something so that I can put a smile on Tooters face.  Even if me and my sanity suffer in the long run.

 

This brought me to thinking about my New Year’s resolutions.  Does anyone ever really fulfill their resolutions or just talk about them for 6 months before only to be forgotten with in weeks of the New Year?  So instead of making some ridiculous resolution list that I am going to bag in a few weeks then spend my time feeling guilty about.  I decided to make a realistic mommy list of things that I am going to do for myself throughout the year that I neglect regularly.  After reviewing my list I think all mom’s both married and single should make one. Here are the ten top things I am going to do for myself in 2009.

 

1.     Go bra shopping before I am down to the only one that I own that is held together by safety pins.

 

 Yes sadly to say I am sitting here in a bra that I am praying will make it another couple of weeks and no one thinks the funny lump under my shirt is a nipple piercing.  I already have purple and black hair and tattoo’s, I don’t need people looking at me like I am a complete freak. (Personally I hate to shop for a new bra it is a waste of precious time that I could spend on other activities.)

 

2.     Take an extra few minutes in the morning to actually enjoy a hot shower, and maybe even use the different settings on the showerhead.  Shut up you perverts not for that!!

 

I totally race through my showers and even have it down to getting in and out before a full song can play on my stereo.

 

3.     Let the dishes pile up in the sink for a night so that I can enjoy a hot cup of tea and read a grown up book.  Again perverts keep it in check, I am talking about my murder mystery books.

 

As much as I love to read Dr. Suess or Fancy Nancy to Tooters it would be nice to get back to reading the types of book I did before she was born.  At least more than one or two pages at a time, which is what I do now before Tooters demands my attention.

 

4.     Find time to exercise in peace without Tooters trying to imitate me and the Wonder Pup thinking it is playtime. 

 

Tooters loves it when I pull out my exercise DVD’s, because after giving it a 5 minute effort to keep up she just ends up laughing at me and asking why I am not doing it like the ladies on the DVD.  The Wonder Pup thinks she is helping every time I do the floor exercises by jumping on my stomach that is already sore. 

 

5.     Buy myself a new pair of jeans that actually fits so that I don’t look like some saggy ass stoner from behind. 

 

In the last year I have lost a little over 50 pounds and now none of my clothes fit properly.  They either are falling off of my body or the last 2 pairs that do some what fit are starting to fray.  I am a little afraid every time I bend down that my thighs or ass are going to come flying out.  Heck I might as well add a new shirt while I am at it.  I look like Omar the tent maker is my stylist.

 

6.     Buy new underwear that fit and are not full of holes. 

 

Again since the weight-loss I have not invested in new underwear, another waste of time for me.  However now I have the biggest granny panties you have ever seen and I need suspenders just to keep them up.  Maybe I could just hook them to my safety pins on my bra and start a new trend.  Not to mention that most have holes in them and I have to be careful where I grip them to pull them up.

 

7.     Grocery shop in peace.

 

All you mothers out there know what I am talking about so I will not elaborate on this one.

 

8.     Go to bed early. 

 

Instead of trying to pick up toys, straighten the house, or squeeze in one more load of laundry just bag it all and go to bed right after Tooter’s is asleep.  I am an insomniac but sometimes it would be nice to see what it is like to be able to be in bed for more than 5 or 6 hours in a single night even if I end up watch late night T.V.

 

9.     Ban Miley Cyrus from my car stereo.

 

Tooters and I love good loud music (is there any other kind) when we are in the car, but when I am on main street and she has her window down I tend to slump down in my seat and if I am wearing a hat pull it a little lower.  People tend to notice me before seeing my 6 year old in the back seat and I end up looking like an old freak.  You know sometimes I just need a good old fashion cuss fill grown up song to rock out to.

 

10. Quit smoking for good this time.

 

Oh hell I had to have at least one hard one in there.  I know I quit a few months ago but the holidays are so hard for me I could not take it and started up in the last month.  So I broke out the anti-strangle everyone patches and slapped one on.  I even let Tooters break my last two smokes and throw them away. 

 

So there you go there is my list.  I know this post was kind of long for me and I apologize but I just had to share.  I would love for some of you mommies out there to share what would be on your mommy list.  Happy New Year’s everybody I hope it is a good one!!!

Trying to look happy for a Monday!!

Trying to look happy for a Monday!!