Archive for the early morning Category

An Indulgent Then & A Rewarding Now

Posted in anger, bills, blogging, Blogroll, children, clothes, college, cuteness, deadbeat dads, early morning, emergency, emotional, exhusbands, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, giving, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, iritation, job, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, single mom, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2009 by Iron Mom

When I was a little girl I had huge ideas of how my life was going to be when I grew up. I listened intently to all the fairytales convinced that that was how real life was. Convinced that there was a prince out there just waiting for me. Waiting to come riding up on his white horse, sword waving, with a smile that I would fall in love with instantly and be there to rescue me. What he is suppose to save me from I don’t know but that is how it was suppose to happen.

Then harsh reality of adulthood sets in and those ideals faded away with my youth. Then came a bad marriage, not enough money, starting over with a child, single mom hood and the every day anxiety of raising a daughter. With that praying I am showing Tooters the right path in life so she will grow up strong and avoid the same mistakes I made. I know that she needs to make her own bad choices at times and make her own mistakes to learn from but as a mother I want to shelter her from all that.

So here I sit thinking about then and now, what a difference a few years make. Wondering how I could have done things different then kicking myself in the butt because I realize my choices made me who I am today. My choices also brought me to a place in my life that I have a career of sorts with the state, I am attending college, living paycheck to paycheck and living with my greatest accomplishment in the world. As we all grow up think about current and past choices we see what we should have done different at the time. Below is irrefutable proof of a maturing mind:

Then: Once I used to be able to party all night just to race home, shower, eat a piece of toast and go to work perky.

Now: Just the thought of a drink sends me running for the aspirin and turns my stomach. The idea of spending an evening at a bar then taking care of Tooters the next day makes a few more white hairs pop out. I would rather watch a movie at home and go to bed early.

Then: Friday night was a race to find as many people to go out with as possible. Scouting out where the hot spots were for the night and wondering how many drinks I could get the cute guy across the bar to buy me.

Now: Friday night is spent watching kid movies, doing laundry, studying or just turning in for the night before midnight. Or sitting in front of the TV with a scary movie after Tooters is finally asleep thinking OMG I am going to pay for this at 7 am when she gets up because it is after midnight.

Then: Jumping in the shower before work with the music blasting at an earsplitting level and enjoying the hot water. Being able to shave my legs and pits in peace without explaining what I am doing or why and not caring if I end up walking around the house nekkid because I forgot my clothes and a clean towel.

Now: Getting in the shower before school/work with Tooters and racing through it so that we are both done before the song ends that is on the radio. Racing out of the shower to get dressed and yelling we are in fast mode because mommy could not pry her eyes open before hitting snooze for the third time.

Then: I used to stand in front of my closet full of cute clothes that were a size 0-5 wondering which one would make my butt look the cutest for the day. Looking in my drawer and have underwear with out holes and a bra that did not have safety pins holding it together.

Now: Looking in my closet wondering which outfit is going to hide the baby pooch that will never go away and the butt that is slowly migrating south. Finding the right bra that will keep my boobs from looking like socks with sand in them. Keeping duck tape in the bedroom to tape the under wire back in place for the day.

Then: Leaving the house smelling like a girl. Every hair in perfect order as well as the make up.

Now: Lucky to escape the house with out smelling to out of place from being puked on all night. Then getting to work and remembering that I only had to time to do one eye and afraid to look in the mirror and see my hair.

Then: Working overtime at my job thinking about the new pair of boots I get to buy for going out. Knowing that all the bills were paid ahead of time and if I wanted to eat out every meal I could because it was just me.

Now: Wondering which bill I can put off for another 2 weeks because Tooters has to have medicine for her ear. Now instead of shopping the specialty shops for myself I run to the thrift store hoping they have something in my size because all my clothes are either stained or do not fit anymore just so that Tooters can have the newest movie that came out. Also praying that the can of vegetables I just threw in the stew will taste ok because that is all I have left in the cupboard.

Looking at my list I realize that my youth was spent being indulgent and selfish. Tooters is such a blessing because she made me grow up and realize there are more important things out there than myself. I enjoy every sacrifice and indulging in her wants now instead of my own. I am sad that it took such a rocky path to get here and I apologize in secret for Tooters not having a normal family like I got to have. But then again I remind myself that we went from a deplorable situation to one that is loving, safe and all mine. I get to reap the rewards everyday and the little arms wrapped around my neck at night and little lips kissing my cheek makes everything ok no matter what kind of day I have had.

Thank you Tooters for being in my life. Thank you mom and dad for your unconditional love and support. Thank you friends for letting me vent and cry when I cannot stand it anymore. Thank you to all the special people in my life for lifting my spirits when I am down.

Roll, Bounce, Splat…. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Posted in anger, blogging, Blogroll, children, cute kid questions, cuteness, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 27, 2009 by Iron Mom

I think that today I am going to give a bright shiny example of what we say really does sink into our kid’s brains sometimes.  I think that no matter how much they fight us on some of the things that we want them to do, it is just unavoidable that they do end up picking up on it.  

 

First off I just want to say that no one was hurt in the course of what happened.  I apologize in advance to my mother “The Worry Wart” but I warned her that this story might end up on my blog.  Now, what everyone reading this has to understand is that my mother is very short.  I am not talking just a little petite, but short.  She comes in around 4’ 9” and tries to fool people into believing she is 5 foot even.  I believe our friends are very kind by not saying anything to break that bubble.

 

Anyways the other night my mother calls me at home, she works nights so it is like her morning, sniffling a little bit into the phone asking how my day was.  This is always a huge waving red flag that something happened to her during the day and she is looking for sympathy from me.  However, what usually happens is I end up laughing at what she has done until she hangs up on me.  It is not that I am a mean daughter or that I cannot give comfort where it is deserved.  It is just when she does something it is later on when she tells me, no one was hurt and it ends up being one of those things you have to laugh at like someone stubbing their toe in a parking lot in front of you. 

 

SM : “Ok mom what happened I can hear it in your voice?”

 

WW: “Well something happened today while I was trying to sleep for work.  Now don’t worry I am not hurt but I had an incident involving the new bed.”

 

Now there is nothing about this that sounds very normal to me.  In fact I am tempted to grab a notebook to take notes for later because this is going to be promising.  This is because my mom has done nothing but complain since she got her new bed, so let me just back up for just a second to explain so we are all on the same page.

 

 For 30ish some odd years my parents have slept in a waterbed that sat on a frame that was two drawers high.  Add that to the tall sideboards, padded rails, and the actual waterbed mattress it ended up being up to my little mothers’ upper stomach.  It was hilarious to watch her get into it.  She did this little half roll thing to get in and out of it with a little hop to get up high enough to land in the bed.  Finally one day my parents decided that they were going to get with the times and get a normal bed.  I thought my mom was going to have a party because she would not have to hop/roll into the bed ever again. 

 

At last the new bed was delivered and I raced over to look at it.  I literally thought my mom was going to burst into tears for the first month they owned it and you mentioned bedtime.  I walked into the bedroom and instantly started to laugh.  It had the same type of bed stand with the drawers, a very large box spring and the mattress itself is 20 inches thick.  I offered my mom the use of my stepladder and she kicked me out of the house. 

 

So on with our story:

 

SM: “Mom what happened with the bed now?”

 

WW:  “Well I got up to go to the bathroom today like normal and I actually fell out of the bed.”

 

Now this is where I start giggling because I know my mom so well that this is not the end of the story.  Any other normal person this would have been it, but oh no not in my family there is always more to it.

 

WW: “Sunnymom just shut up and listen to me this was a traumatic thing that happened to me.”

 

I sniffed, took a long deep breath, gave up and just put my hand over the phone after telling my mom to continue.

 

WW: “You know that padded foot stool by the bed that Sugarbooger uses to get up into the bed?”

 

I think she could hear me just nodding because she did not even wait for a real response just a simple little squeak came out of me. 

 

WW: “When I fell out of the bed I bounced my head off of the stool and it threw me into the wall.  I hit my elbow on the closet and I am bruised. **sniff sniff**”

 

OMG the hand was off of the phone and I was in full on laugh mode.  Don’t tell me you expect me to be able to respond at that point.  I just keep seeing this cartoon version of my mom rolling and bouncing off the side of the bed after what is a long drop for my tiny mommy. 

 

WW: “You know I was just looking for some sympathy and it does not like I am going to get it from you!  Your father did not give any either he just asked if it I wanted to switch sides.  Where is my granddaughter?!?!”

 

All I could do was laugh some more with the idea of my dad just calling out to her and not even moving out of the bed.  (He works nights too so they are on the same sleep schedule.)  Finally I told her maybe she would get the sympathy from Tooters’ instead, so I took the phone into the bedroom since she was in bed for the night.  I was laughing so hard I just put the phone to her ear with out saying anything.  Then she said it,

 

T: “Wow Grandma you were not being very aware of your surroundings now were you!”

 

 A new round of laughing started on my end and I just walked out of the bedroom with the phone.  I turned around as I went to look at Tooters and the kid was still asleep, she managed to listen and respond without waking up at all. 

 

I got back on the phone and it was silent, I just could not understand it.  At this point I could not leave well enough alone, I called my mom back to see if there was something wrong with the phones or if she fell down again.  Wow you can really feel anger when you slam a phone down just the right way. 

 

See what did I tell you, kids really do pick up on the things that we say to them everyday.  If any of your other mommy friends ever doubt you just send them my way I now have proof.  We will just leave out the part that she did it in her sleep. 

 

 

What Did I Just Get Myself Into?!?!?!?!

Posted in Blogroll, children, clothes, co-workers, college, cute kid questions, cuteness, early morning, emotional, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, giving, goals, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pictures, random, resolutions, school, seasons, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 18, 2009 by Iron Mom

You know it has taken me 3 months to get here but I made it, I am officially now a college student. I am scared because I am 30 something and been out of school for so long. Luckily I am going to school online this semester and taking only two classes but I am still a little intimidated, I mean I have to learn to study and take tests all over again.

I have to admit I did take 3 classes a few years ago and did not do my best. I started out with hard classes thinking “No problem I am a smart adult, I will fly thru this thing!” OMG I was wrong. Let me just make a suggestion to everyone out there interested in college. It is not impossible for anyone, even single parents like myself, but examine what is going on around you and make sure it is a good time. I tried to do it when I had a 3 year old running around, was working full time one place, part time at another place, going through a nasty divorce, adjusting to being single again, and trying to travel in between. That is a recipe for disaster. So I am trying it again and as of today I am fully admitted, I even received all of my Pell Grant money. Wooo hooo for me!!!

Tooters is now 7 years old so I think she can handle all of it better this time. I set her down the other night and I explained to her that mommy was going back to school so I would need her help so I can pass with good grades. She looked at me and asked if I flunked something that I had to make up. I gently told her how this is good for us and will help me in my job. Then I heard my words come flying out of her mouth:

“Well you know you cannot play with your friends, the computer or anything until your homework is done. That means right after work mom, that is what you said the rule is!”

OMG what a little momma she is turning into. Even the other day riding our bikes home she made sure I was on the sidewalk behind her because it made her feel safer that I was not so close to the traffic. Crap that is what I tell her all the time. The other night I was on the phone and she overheard me cussing about something so she came into the room and reminded me that the words I was using are unacceptable and I need to remember proper manners. Holy hell I thought when I was a mommy living on my own there would be no more censorship. Well she sure showed me I guess.

I thought I would brag a little bit that I am a full fledge college student. I am stoked and so starting in May if I don’t blog as much you know where I am, hiding with my nose in a text book lol.

Open Post To The Service Man That Left Me Hanging

Posted in anger, Blogroll, co-workers, construction, early morning, emergency, emotional, family, frustration, goals, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, job, life, personal, personality, pictures, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 17, 2009 by Iron Mom

Dear Service Men/Women,

 

I would like to send out a huge thank you for everything that you do for us common folks that need you to get by on a daily basis.  With out you I would have no health care, cable, phone, Internet, and a million other services that require you to show up at my house or for me to wait in your office. 

 

However with all these wonderful things that you do for everyone everyday do you think it is ok to make us wait on you no matter how long it is??  I mean believe it or not I do have a life that I like to enjoy.  For some reason the idea of sitting around and waiting in a little stuffy waiting room with a squirmy child and listening to other screaming kids is not my idea of a fun afternoon. 

 

Just because I happen to need some work done inside my house that I need to be home for, does that mean my time is not as important as yours??  All I ask is for you to give me a better idea of what time you will be there rather than between 8 and 5.  Some of us really do have jobs and/or a family that needs to be taken care of.  Do you not realize that the less time I spend at my job earning money that means I have that much less to give to you??

 

You know if I could fix my pipes, hook up my own cable, cure my own cold or do the other things that you do, you would lose your job??  So instead of pissing people off and making them wait endless hours and losing hourly wages, up your costumer service and show up on time or pin point a time you will be there.  Don’t over book yourselves just to try and squeeze as many billable hours in as possible into one day.  Maybe next time that I am spending a whole day at home waiting on a service person I might just read a book on how to do it myself and just get it done quickly. 

 

I do however understand that there will always be things that need attention that I cannot possibly do or have the education required to perform that task.  So in these particular cases please do not talk down to me just because you went to some big fancy college.  I may not have the money that you do, the degree, or the knowledge of what you are doing, but that does not mean I don’t have the capacity to understand if explained when I ask about it.  Also does this mean that your time is more precious than mine or worth more?? 

 

I really do want to thank you for what you do and if we can all come up with a compromise for these few problems that I mentioned I think a lot of stress can be alleviated.   I am sure you can find me if you really want to discuss these problems just check your voice mail for an irate customer that was left waiting for you and you did not show up or the service was not provided properly.  I can also be found in every state and every city in the country. 

 

Sincerely,

 

The Bitchy Customer Left Hanging

 

P.S. If anyone out there can relate to any of this please feel free to leave comments at the bottom!!

Lost Marbles, Found Marbles

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, clothes, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, seasons, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 12, 2009 by Iron Mom

Today for some reason is just a frustrating day and I think I will tell a little story to lighten things around here.  This story is based on actual events, however no finger pointing will be done and the identity of the main kid will remain secret.  It will not be revealed because I am afraid of retaliation and great bodily harm lol.

 

Once upon a time there lived a brother and sister.  They were close in age and loved each other dearly even though the mother could not tell by all the fighting done during the day.  At the end of the day brother and sister were put into the bathtub together (they were still young enough to do this) to peal off several layers of dirt, grim and who knows what else.  There was extra scrubbing involved this night because of a muddy project in the backyard and the mother wanted to make sure she had brought the right kids into the house. 

 

Brother and sister had heard the term digging to China and wanted to test the theory.  They found the perfect spot in the middle of the yard, in the garden and with the help of the neighbor kids started digging.  Since it was fall and most of the garden was picked the mother watched this going on thinking,

 

 “Oh God please let them dig till they are exhausted and go to bed early tonight!”

 

Well after a couple hours and a few feet later they found out that the further down they went the more mud they found.  The mother sprang off of the porch to start pulling kids out of the hole that was several feet down before they got stuck for good.  See she did not think they would get as far as they did, but she was sadly mistaken.  The kids had dug far enough down that they were getting into a water table that part of the town sits on.  After some crying and fussing all the dirt was returned to the hole, China would have to wait for another day I guess.  Neighbor kids were sent home to their parents, brother and sister were sent to the tub. 

 

Now this is where everything got interesting and I know the mother could feel the hairs on her head going not gray but white.  The little bit of sanity that she was holding onto for the night disappeared.  What happened was not bad but it was another one of those funny kid moments that you do not dare laugh in front of them, but you just cannot help yourself.  So here we go.

 

Once it was revealed that the proper kids were in fact in the bathtub the mother rinsed them off and decided to get sister out first.  Out came the little girl and the mother set about getting her dried off and started combing out the ten feet of rats nests sitting on top of her head.  The whole time the little boy is still playing with his toys in the tub.  Just when the mother was almost done there was a blood curdling scream coming from the bathroom.  The fear was evident in the mother’s face and you could see the thoughts in her head racing through.  The little girl was quickly moved aside and the mother went from the hallway outside the bathroom to standing next to the tub in a fraction of a second. 

 

Now with all the squealing coming from the little boy you would have thought there was blood everywhere or there were missing limbs.  Instantly the little boy realized mother was standing there and he looked up with all the alligator tears on his cheeks and started freaking out.  He kept repeating over and over again,

 

“I swear mommy I didn’t do it!  I swear I did not put anything in my mouth I don’t know how they got into my body!  I promise I did not do it! WWAAAAHHHH!!!”

 

The mother for the life of her could not figure out what was going on and finally got the boy to calm down enough he could tell her what was going on.  Now when I tell you what he said just close your eyes and try to image all of this in your head.  Are you ready?  OK here it is straight out of the boy’s mouth while he is looking straight down the whole time.

 

“Mommy I swear I do not know how the marbles got in my body.  I am a big boy, I don’t put things in my mouth anymore and I don’t remember swallowing my marbles.  So I don’t know how they got there!”

 

The mother perched on her knees next to the tub staring at the little boy still not quite comprehending what he was telling her asked him if he can feel the marbles and can he point to where they are at. 

 

The little boy took a deep breath, calmly looked at his mother and point to his……… “area”.  Instantly it dawned on the mother he found his “beans” and being a toddler thought that he swallowed some marbles and they got stuck there.

 

Without a word she calmly stood up walked out of the bathroom, yelled for the boy’s father and told him he was needed in the bathroom right away.  Honestly I don’t know what happened to the mother the rest of the night she simply walked away shaking her head, giggling, and saying,

 

 “What next?”

 

So that is my story for the day, I will leave the speculation of the boy’s identity to you.  Those of you that read my story that knows who I am in the real world and you do not quite know who it is just think really hard and you will figure it out.  As for the little boy, I am soooooo sorry and please don’t hurt me lol. 

 

Have a great day everyone!!!!!!!!!

You Might Be A Parent If……..

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, clothes, co-workers, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, Dolls, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, puggle, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 3, 2009 by Iron Mom

I know this is my first post in a while but it has already been one hell of a year for me.  Between my heater going out for a whole week and finding out really bad stuff about my ex, I just have not been in the mood to blog.  Which is a huge mistake because I get such joy out of it.  So as a tribute to my readers, especially the awesome parents out there, you know who you are, here is one of my lists that people seem to enjoy so much.

 

Jeff Foxworthy has made the saying you might be a redneck if….

 

Well I have decided that I want my own catch phrase and since I always laugh at what he says this pays a little homage to him to, hence the title.  You know since I am a little redneck myself lol.  So here it goes my top ten things that make a parent a parent:

 

1. At any given time you have been in the middle of the grocery store and someone points out an unidentifiable substance on your shirt.  You being the parent first smell it and if it is not rank lick it, sending the other person away gagging into their grocery bag.  Come on it was just a little chocolate.

 

2. You go rushing out of the house in the morning to get the kids to school and in the mad dash to get them there on time you get pulled over.  After the cop looks at you like you have 2 heads and the kids in the backseat are letting you know that they are telling dad, you realize you forgot a couple of rollers on top of your head, the fluffy slippers with eyes and the fuzzy bathrobe hanging open.  You know there was a time in your life that would have gotten you out of the ticket not the other way around.

 

3. After a long day of wrestling little ones in and out of the car, fighting with a squirmy puppy, trying to make something that resembles a dinner and getting the kids into bed you try to enjoy the quiet house.  All this is shattered by the husband hollering for his clean socks, his clean towel, and his things for in the morning.  To top it all off he cannot understand why you are not “in the mood” and you do not even want to be touched.

 

4. It is later afternoon the baby is finally asleep and you have a moment to yourself while you fold a mountain of laundry and cuss out the skinny chick on television that had the baby 2 seconds ago and is complaining about wearing a size 5 instead of a 2.  This is when you realize you forgot today is your carpool day so out the door you race in your sweats praying you don’t smell to bad.  Then back into the house you go to get the sleeping baby.  Then back in the house again for the car keys that are now locked inside with the cell phone. 

 

(Let me tell you a post baby body does not slide through the bedroom window like it did fifteen years ago.  It is even worse when the dog is jumping up licking your grunting face from the bed you are trying to aim at, but instead hit the floor.  All you can do is stare at the ceiling while you are waiting for your lungs to re-inflate and think why me?)

 

5. You realize that the terms “pissed on” and “shit on” take on a whole new meaning.  I will not even elaborate on that one.  If you have had a baby you know what I am talking about. 

 

6. Your clothes are no longer your clothes.  Some how the few remaining dresses that somewhat fit and is kind of decent enough for dinner with the husband/boyfriend has become your daughters dress up clothes.  Your one pair of prized hooker heels (come on ladies admit you have a pair hidden in the closet!)  have become their princess shoes for them to wobble around the house in when you are not looking.

 

7. Personal products are no longer personal.  You walk into the bathroom to find your son and his friends shooting your tampons as hard as they can up into the air so they land in the bathtub full of water and expand so fast all they can do is giggle.

 

8.Your silverware drawer that used to have beautiful designs that matched are now mismatched and mis-sized.  This is because most of your spoons are buried in the garden and the forks have become little crucifixes for little green army men. 

 

9. One morning you stumble into work wearing clothes that are barely clean and not really matching, but the dark circles under your eyes actually match your dark shoes.  This is because you have been up all night with one or more kid, being puked on, coughed on, and snotted on.  Then you manage to get a couple of hours sleep after you dose them with nighttime medicine in the middle of the night.  OMG they then bounce out of bed in the morning with a miraculous recovery because there is a birthday party after school they just have to go to or die.

 

10. You swear on your grandmothers grave that if you hear advise or how well someone is going to raise their kids so that they do not act like your little devil spawn running circles around you and they do not have kids; well lets just say they have “by reason of insanity” for a reason. 

 

If you fit any of these then you just might be a parent lol!!!  Re-reading this post I wonder how any of us do it somedays, both with a partner and alone.

 

So welcome back me and let’s hope it gets better for the Nuthouse.  I missed everyone terribly and hope to hear from all soon. 

 

 

 

 

 

Special Ed Strikes Again

Posted in boss, co-workers, cuteness, early morning, emotional, entertainment, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, healing, help, hope, humor, job, life, personal, personality, politics, random, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 15, 2009 by Iron Mom

Ok readers it is time for a silly boss story to be posted.  I have previously posted a story (Missing: One Brain Cell Possibly More) about my boss and promised more so I decided to make good on it today.  All stories about my boss are true I swear.  So here it goes. 

 

This is the time of year that we start looking at budgets for the fire center operation costs for the upcoming summer.  It is always a little stressful to try and break it down and come up with a number that will satisfy everyone involved.  Keep in mind this was last year and after what happened I am not sure he will want my opinion this year lol. 

 

My boss (Special Ed) came into my office and sat down to go over it with me.  He likes to do this and get my input since I am over there and I know what is going on.  Well we got right to it and started going down the list.  It is pretty standard stuff like supplies, training materials, and day-to-day things.  Then he gets towards the bottom of the page and gets this very perplexed look on his face.  I sit there watching his face contort in confusion waiting for him to tell me what is on the page.  Finally he speaks up and asks me what this certain charge is for and why it is so much, this is how the conversation went:

 

SE: “What is a face smile and why am I paying $300 for it?”

 

Me: “A what?!?! Can you repeat that again?”

 

SE: “A face smile, a face smile, what the hell is a face smile??”

 

Me: “OMG are you serious? Did you just say what I think you said?”

 

SE: “Yes a face smile, what is that, I am being serious?  Can you please explain this to me?”

 

At this point all I can do is stare at him not really believing my ears, my brain actually starts to hurt trying to process this information.  Then here comes the laughter.  At first it is just a little giggle then as I think about what was just said I start laughing harder and harder.  The secretary across the hall actually came and checked on me because I was laughing so loud and so hard.  I just could not help myself and I think at one point I peed a little.  This was the type of fit that your stomach cramps up, there are tears running down your cheeks, and you start making the retarded faces because no noise is coming out just a little gasping sounds as you are trying to inhale before you pass out. 

 

Poor Special Ed is just sitting there asking me to explain to him what is so funny.  I finally calmed down enough to tell him what is so funny.  He was looking at the charge for the FACSIMILE’S!!!!!!!  As soon as I said it I started laughing again, this really just struck me as hilarious.  Special Ed at that point reminded me who signs my timesheets and that my yearly evaluation was coming up.  He jokingly told me that I am replaceable.

 

Now for some reason these are the times when my brain misfires or something and comments fly out of my mouth before I can stop it.  I don’t know why and usually I regret it as soon as I am done speaking and I have regained control of my mouth, but not this time.  What I said next was perfect for the moment and has become a legend in the office.  This is what flew out:

 

“Can you confirm that with a face smile?”

 

At this point one of my co-workers in the next office that was listening to the whole thing exploded with laughter with me.  Special Ed at this point just hung his head with defeat and shuffled up the hallway disappearing for a while.  He did eventually come back.  When he did he peaked around the corner and asked if I was done laughing at him so he could come back to work. 

 

We still joke about it in the office from time to time and laugh all over again.  God I love my boss some days, he definitely keeps things very interesting for me.  So next time you are around a fax machine just remember according to Special Ed it is a face smile lol.