Archive for the fall Category

Does Your Costume Speak To You?

Posted in children, clothes, costumes, cuteness, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, fun, funny, ghosts, halloween, holiday, horror, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, random, single mom, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2009 by Iron Mom

Well it is that time of year again when we all dress up for Halloween, scare ourselves silly with movies, take the kids trick-or-treating in cold weather and indulge in a little to much candy for 2 weeks afterwards.  This also means I get to post another Halloween list. 

Keep in mind this is just for fun and my warped perspective on things.  This year I was thinking about costumes, Tooters and I love to dress up, and I realized that personality and mood has a lot to do with what you choose to wear.  I am talking more about the adults than the kids.  They tend to follow the trend more than the adults.  Let’s break it down! 

Princess – Women that dress up like a fairytale princesses love to be pampered and wants everyone to do her bidding most of the time.  She is ultra girly with a liking for sparkly long dresses made out of taffeta.  She also sees herself as a little better than the common woman and truly believes that the knight in shiny armor exists while she walks around with her head in the clouds.

Vampire – Anyone that chooses this has a dark side that they may or may not keep hidden.  They have a lust for blood, danger power and sex.  They have a controlling side that can erupt at anytime especially at night.  The women are extremely tough of both mind and body with a super sexy side.  Cunning and wit are always present whether the common man realizes it or not and they are excellent predators.

Superhero – Whether it is the side kick or the woman of the hour this is a woman with great powers of her own.  She is controlling in a good way, fights for the underdog, protects the weak and looks great doing it.  There is nothing this woman cannot do, or at least thinks so.  She has a super strength that goes with a super body even if it is a little hidden under a layer of ice cream and chocolate.  She juggles a million things at once and makes it look easy.

Witch – There is way more than meets the eye with this woman.  She is not only crafty and creative but baffling and hard to figure out.  Is she the good witch or the bad witch?  What evil/good is lurking underneath it all?  The limits to her powers are endless.  You better watch out she will cast a spell over men that keep them coming back for more without realizing why.  There is definitely mystery there and she will only let you see what she wants you to.

Animal – This is a pretty simple one.  Any woman that dresses up like an animal is showing what is hidden behind the sugar and spice she displays everyday.  She can be playful, mean, sneaky or cuddly.  She can be a tiger in or out of bed when she is alone with you.  She can also be the nurturing type that would rather wrap herself around you for protection, warmth and love.  So really this one cannot be broken down as well as the other ones.

 Clown – Oh there is so much more than meets the eye on this one, I actually see two different ones here.  Women that are funny make the greatest clowns of course and tend to love kids.  They dress up to please the little ones and make them laugh.  But on the other hand they are also hiding. Hiding a truck load of issues behind the make-up, funny wigs and goofy huge clothes.  Some of these women are a little sad on the inside but don’t want others to see it, they like to keep a happy face instead.  They deflect and avoid what is going on in their heads by being goofy on the outside.  They say tears of a clown for a reason.  

 Ultra sexy/slutty anything – This is not a loose woman so don’t let the clothes tell the story, at least for most of them.  No this woman is confidant and secure in her own skin.  This is the one night of the year it is ok to flaunt every single inch of what she was blessed with or worked for.  In every day life this might the mom down the street in sweats or the woman in the cubicle next to you that wears a boring power suit on most days.  She wants to be noticed everyday and might not know how to achieve that, so this is her way to cut loose and scream look at me I’m hot!!!!!

 So there you have it my Halloween post for the year.  I could have gone on and on but did not want to bore anyone.  Plus I have to leave something for next year lol.  Happy Halloween everyone have fun and be safe!!!!!!!  Lots of love from Tooters, Sunnymom and the Wonder Pup.

A Million Emotions For Sale

Posted in anger, blogging, Blogroll, boss, children, co-workers, college, emergency, emotional, entertainment, exhusbands, fall, family, friends, frustration, goals, growing up, healing, help, hope, iritation, job, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, random, single mom, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2009 by Iron Mom

OK here’s the deal I have spent a majority of my life trying to go against the grain. I never wanted to fit into the normal category and enjoyed being different. It did not always win me very many friends but the few friends I have love me for me and not for being like someone else.

Growing up I did not fit into just one click at school instead I floated from group to group just depending on who struck my fancy that day. I made sure that I did not dress like the popular cheerleader girls, aka the carbon copy Barbie dolls. Instead I just wore what I wanted and what was comfortable, I just did not care as long as it was cute.

Now dating is a different story. I have not really dated since I left my ex back in 2004. It just did not interest me. I mean why would I want to take the risk of getting tangled up with another ass just to have my heart broken over and over again. So obviously my marriage left me with issues.

I am not the typical woman. I don’t like chick flicks, instead I prefer lots and lots of blood and action. Chick flicks depress me because they are all basically the same and therefore boring. I would rather camp in the dirt and fish than sit around with girlfriends gossiping about the new clerk at the video store and his amazing butt while doing each others hair. That is just not my cup of tea. I also hate Valentine’s Day; it is just a waste of time and money. I swear it was created by the greeting card industry to make a mint off of all the suckers out there.

I prefer little thoughtful gifts that let me know he is really listening to me in lieu of big expensive crap. Don’t get me wrong I would love to get flowers at work but I am just a simple girl with simple tastes. I don’t own even one piece of lingerie because it is a waste of money and my house is not really overly girly. I am not saying I am butch or a tomboy of any sorts I just feel like I do not really fit into any one certain type of mold.

However there are certain aspects of me that are not that different from other people. Even though I hate to cry, I don’t like the feeling of weakness it gives me, I really am capable of it. I love to laugh and be close to certain people. I don’t like feeling that I am being pulled in a thousand different directions at the same time, so when I do feel that way I actually have a stressed out moment.

This brings me to what I am ultimately feeling today. I have this overwhelming feeling of failure. I am stretched so thin I am not sure I can handle much more. But being a woman I am sure I will fit something else into my life. It just seems that my spirits are low and that affects everything and everyone around me.

I am trying to make everyone around me happy and live up to his or her expectations but seem to be falling short at the moment, plus forgetting about myself. Then when I do think about me for just a moment I get to into my own head and I end up feeling worse than before.

I try to please my parents and even though they tell me they are very proud of me I always feel like some of my decisions they do not agree with and it ends up disappointing them. When I call just because I am not super bubbly on the phone, never really been bubbly to begin with, then there is a problem and I am depressed.

I have moments when I am not as patient as I can be with Tooters and that lets her down. I sit around with mommy guilt, hating myself because I chewed her out for misbehaving and made her cry. Don’t get me wrong I know she is trying to get out of trouble and she knows this trick works most of the time then I end up caving in. I also know that there are times she is going to be mad at me but I would rather avoid that all together. I also have the guilt over spending time with friends, studying, in school or working overtime in the summer because this takes time away from her.

I am trying to please everyone at the office and make sure his or her needs are met. I always end up with more tasks on my plate than I can get done in a day and end up making someone mad because their request has to wait.

 Just this morning one of the guys came in and chewed me out for getting his supplies delivered a day late, which was beyond my control it was a holiday yesterday with no deliveries. For some reason it was my fault and he let me know it without giving me a chance to explain it to him then stormed out of the office. I don’t know what came over me but I actually did start to cry just a little bit. One of the girls came in and asked me what was happening. She said you are Sunny you don’t cry and let the guys get to you. Holy crap now I am not allowed to have an emotional marble rolling around in my head at work either.

School is taking up a lot of time. Don’t get me wrong I love school but this week is just really packed with assignments and a big exam on Monday. I have to start re-applying for student loans really soon and register for next semester in a couple of weeks. Right now I do not even want to know what classes are up next.

I guess I am basically just stressed, stretched thin, emotional and a little whiny today. I don’t think that it helped much this morning when my best friend expressed concern over the new boyfriend, he did it in a way that was not exactly gentle and made me feel bad. To top it off this is the season when my divorce was final and it tends to get to me a little bit still.

 I think I have gotten everything out of my system and I actually do feel a little bit better for now. I just have to wait for the time when the house is quiet and Tooters is asleep to see if I end up in my head again and the stupid feelings start over again. I am sure that I will be all better tomorrow but I was getting to a point I could not breath and had to tell someone. Writing is always easier for me to express things rather than talking to someone, watching them roll their eyes at me then tell me that I have nothing to be upset over because look at all I have. Next person that tells me that today might want to duck I just might throw something at them.

So see I am different like I set out to be, but ended up being pretty normal at the same time. With that I am off to my next task for the day and I promise that my next post will be more uplifting. Maybe the funky mood is just going around right now because I am not the only blogger out there feeling this. Let just all go have a drink and forget the world for a while instead, my place at 8??

An Indulgent Then & A Rewarding Now

Posted in anger, bills, blogging, Blogroll, children, clothes, college, cuteness, deadbeat dads, early morning, emergency, emotional, exhusbands, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, giving, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, iritation, job, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, single mom, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2009 by Iron Mom

When I was a little girl I had huge ideas of how my life was going to be when I grew up. I listened intently to all the fairytales convinced that that was how real life was. Convinced that there was a prince out there just waiting for me. Waiting to come riding up on his white horse, sword waving, with a smile that I would fall in love with instantly and be there to rescue me. What he is suppose to save me from I don’t know but that is how it was suppose to happen.

Then harsh reality of adulthood sets in and those ideals faded away with my youth. Then came a bad marriage, not enough money, starting over with a child, single mom hood and the every day anxiety of raising a daughter. With that praying I am showing Tooters the right path in life so she will grow up strong and avoid the same mistakes I made. I know that she needs to make her own bad choices at times and make her own mistakes to learn from but as a mother I want to shelter her from all that.

So here I sit thinking about then and now, what a difference a few years make. Wondering how I could have done things different then kicking myself in the butt because I realize my choices made me who I am today. My choices also brought me to a place in my life that I have a career of sorts with the state, I am attending college, living paycheck to paycheck and living with my greatest accomplishment in the world. As we all grow up think about current and past choices we see what we should have done different at the time. Below is irrefutable proof of a maturing mind:

Then: Once I used to be able to party all night just to race home, shower, eat a piece of toast and go to work perky.

Now: Just the thought of a drink sends me running for the aspirin and turns my stomach. The idea of spending an evening at a bar then taking care of Tooters the next day makes a few more white hairs pop out. I would rather watch a movie at home and go to bed early.

Then: Friday night was a race to find as many people to go out with as possible. Scouting out where the hot spots were for the night and wondering how many drinks I could get the cute guy across the bar to buy me.

Now: Friday night is spent watching kid movies, doing laundry, studying or just turning in for the night before midnight. Or sitting in front of the TV with a scary movie after Tooters is finally asleep thinking OMG I am going to pay for this at 7 am when she gets up because it is after midnight.

Then: Jumping in the shower before work with the music blasting at an earsplitting level and enjoying the hot water. Being able to shave my legs and pits in peace without explaining what I am doing or why and not caring if I end up walking around the house nekkid because I forgot my clothes and a clean towel.

Now: Getting in the shower before school/work with Tooters and racing through it so that we are both done before the song ends that is on the radio. Racing out of the shower to get dressed and yelling we are in fast mode because mommy could not pry her eyes open before hitting snooze for the third time.

Then: I used to stand in front of my closet full of cute clothes that were a size 0-5 wondering which one would make my butt look the cutest for the day. Looking in my drawer and have underwear with out holes and a bra that did not have safety pins holding it together.

Now: Looking in my closet wondering which outfit is going to hide the baby pooch that will never go away and the butt that is slowly migrating south. Finding the right bra that will keep my boobs from looking like socks with sand in them. Keeping duck tape in the bedroom to tape the under wire back in place for the day.

Then: Leaving the house smelling like a girl. Every hair in perfect order as well as the make up.

Now: Lucky to escape the house with out smelling to out of place from being puked on all night. Then getting to work and remembering that I only had to time to do one eye and afraid to look in the mirror and see my hair.

Then: Working overtime at my job thinking about the new pair of boots I get to buy for going out. Knowing that all the bills were paid ahead of time and if I wanted to eat out every meal I could because it was just me.

Now: Wondering which bill I can put off for another 2 weeks because Tooters has to have medicine for her ear. Now instead of shopping the specialty shops for myself I run to the thrift store hoping they have something in my size because all my clothes are either stained or do not fit anymore just so that Tooters can have the newest movie that came out. Also praying that the can of vegetables I just threw in the stew will taste ok because that is all I have left in the cupboard.

Looking at my list I realize that my youth was spent being indulgent and selfish. Tooters is such a blessing because she made me grow up and realize there are more important things out there than myself. I enjoy every sacrifice and indulging in her wants now instead of my own. I am sad that it took such a rocky path to get here and I apologize in secret for Tooters not having a normal family like I got to have. But then again I remind myself that we went from a deplorable situation to one that is loving, safe and all mine. I get to reap the rewards everyday and the little arms wrapped around my neck at night and little lips kissing my cheek makes everything ok no matter what kind of day I have had.

Thank you Tooters for being in my life. Thank you mom and dad for your unconditional love and support. Thank you friends for letting me vent and cry when I cannot stand it anymore. Thank you to all the special people in my life for lifting my spirits when I am down.

Roll, Bounce, Splat…. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Posted in anger, blogging, Blogroll, children, cute kid questions, cuteness, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on April 27, 2009 by Iron Mom

I think that today I am going to give a bright shiny example of what we say really does sink into our kid’s brains sometimes.  I think that no matter how much they fight us on some of the things that we want them to do, it is just unavoidable that they do end up picking up on it.  

 

First off I just want to say that no one was hurt in the course of what happened.  I apologize in advance to my mother “The Worry Wart” but I warned her that this story might end up on my blog.  Now, what everyone reading this has to understand is that my mother is very short.  I am not talking just a little petite, but short.  She comes in around 4’ 9” and tries to fool people into believing she is 5 foot even.  I believe our friends are very kind by not saying anything to break that bubble.

 

Anyways the other night my mother calls me at home, she works nights so it is like her morning, sniffling a little bit into the phone asking how my day was.  This is always a huge waving red flag that something happened to her during the day and she is looking for sympathy from me.  However, what usually happens is I end up laughing at what she has done until she hangs up on me.  It is not that I am a mean daughter or that I cannot give comfort where it is deserved.  It is just when she does something it is later on when she tells me, no one was hurt and it ends up being one of those things you have to laugh at like someone stubbing their toe in a parking lot in front of you. 

 

SM : “Ok mom what happened I can hear it in your voice?”

 

WW: “Well something happened today while I was trying to sleep for work.  Now don’t worry I am not hurt but I had an incident involving the new bed.”

 

Now there is nothing about this that sounds very normal to me.  In fact I am tempted to grab a notebook to take notes for later because this is going to be promising.  This is because my mom has done nothing but complain since she got her new bed, so let me just back up for just a second to explain so we are all on the same page.

 

 For 30ish some odd years my parents have slept in a waterbed that sat on a frame that was two drawers high.  Add that to the tall sideboards, padded rails, and the actual waterbed mattress it ended up being up to my little mothers’ upper stomach.  It was hilarious to watch her get into it.  She did this little half roll thing to get in and out of it with a little hop to get up high enough to land in the bed.  Finally one day my parents decided that they were going to get with the times and get a normal bed.  I thought my mom was going to have a party because she would not have to hop/roll into the bed ever again. 

 

At last the new bed was delivered and I raced over to look at it.  I literally thought my mom was going to burst into tears for the first month they owned it and you mentioned bedtime.  I walked into the bedroom and instantly started to laugh.  It had the same type of bed stand with the drawers, a very large box spring and the mattress itself is 20 inches thick.  I offered my mom the use of my stepladder and she kicked me out of the house. 

 

So on with our story:

 

SM: “Mom what happened with the bed now?”

 

WW:  “Well I got up to go to the bathroom today like normal and I actually fell out of the bed.”

 

Now this is where I start giggling because I know my mom so well that this is not the end of the story.  Any other normal person this would have been it, but oh no not in my family there is always more to it.

 

WW: “Sunnymom just shut up and listen to me this was a traumatic thing that happened to me.”

 

I sniffed, took a long deep breath, gave up and just put my hand over the phone after telling my mom to continue.

 

WW: “You know that padded foot stool by the bed that Sugarbooger uses to get up into the bed?”

 

I think she could hear me just nodding because she did not even wait for a real response just a simple little squeak came out of me. 

 

WW: “When I fell out of the bed I bounced my head off of the stool and it threw me into the wall.  I hit my elbow on the closet and I am bruised. **sniff sniff**”

 

OMG the hand was off of the phone and I was in full on laugh mode.  Don’t tell me you expect me to be able to respond at that point.  I just keep seeing this cartoon version of my mom rolling and bouncing off the side of the bed after what is a long drop for my tiny mommy. 

 

WW: “You know I was just looking for some sympathy and it does not like I am going to get it from you!  Your father did not give any either he just asked if it I wanted to switch sides.  Where is my granddaughter?!?!”

 

All I could do was laugh some more with the idea of my dad just calling out to her and not even moving out of the bed.  (He works nights too so they are on the same sleep schedule.)  Finally I told her maybe she would get the sympathy from Tooters’ instead, so I took the phone into the bedroom since she was in bed for the night.  I was laughing so hard I just put the phone to her ear with out saying anything.  Then she said it,

 

T: “Wow Grandma you were not being very aware of your surroundings now were you!”

 

 A new round of laughing started on my end and I just walked out of the bedroom with the phone.  I turned around as I went to look at Tooters and the kid was still asleep, she managed to listen and respond without waking up at all. 

 

I got back on the phone and it was silent, I just could not understand it.  At this point I could not leave well enough alone, I called my mom back to see if there was something wrong with the phones or if she fell down again.  Wow you can really feel anger when you slam a phone down just the right way. 

 

See what did I tell you, kids really do pick up on the things that we say to them everyday.  If any of your other mommy friends ever doubt you just send them my way I now have proof.  We will just leave out the part that she did it in her sleep. 

 

 

The Gift That Won’t Quit Giving

Posted in anger, bills, blogging, Blogroll, cuteness, deadbeat dads, emotional, exhusbands, fall, family, frustration, funny picture, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, iritation, kicking ass, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pictures, random, resolutions, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 20, 2009 by Iron Mom

As everyone is well aware of I am a divorced single working mom trying to survive paycheck to paycheck and not lose my mind in the mean time.  Well I had something happen last week that almost pushed me over the edge.  I once again received another “gift” from my ex-husband that I fondly refer to as the Donor.  That is basically all he is.  I thank him all the time for giving me the gift of Tooters but that is the only thing that I want to keep from him. 

 

I know I have ranted about it before but I just do not understand how someone can help create this beautiful and hilariously lively little girl then walk away without looking back.  Unless, his mom forces him to have contact or he is trying to look good for his new woman in his life.  But on the other hand I am selfish and get her all to myself to enjoy her everyday antics, frustrations, and love.  He has had no contact with her for over a year now and not seen her face to face in three.  As for child support, don’t even get me started on that one.

 

Anyways I was checking my email like I always do and I saw that I had an email from my old satellite company, Dish Network.  I have been getting emails from them since I had service with them way back when I was married.  I usually just delete it since I just figured they were advertisements trying to get my business again.  This time was different the subject line read, “View your estatement now!” 

 

What the hell?!?!?! What statement?? I have lived in Utah for over five years since leaving him and he was suppose to take my name off of all the bills.   So of course I called the company and asked how they could bill me for service I have not had in that long.  Here is what I got told,

 

“Well Mrs. Donor this is an outstanding bill for pay-per-view porn movies from 3 years ago.  You will need to pay this immediately or else we will be forced to send it to collections and it will go on your credit report.”

 

Now here is the thing, I have been in my house for over 4 years with cable because I cannot attach a satellite to the house per my landlord.  I, calmly as I could, explained this to them and even gave them the number to my cable to company if they wanted to verify that I have not even lived in the state of New Mexico since before the bill was accrued.  I probably used a few words that I shouldn’t have, but I was so beyond pissed I could not help it.  I think I could actually hear the first young lady on the phone blush a little bit.  To you young lady I am really sorry. 

 

Of course they declined and after I talked to several “supervisors” I got told they will do what they can to get my name off of the bill and send it to the Donor but they could not make any promises.  That actually asked me for his address.  I was at a loss for words by this point and told them just take the name off of the account and I do not watch smutt like that then hung up the phone before screaming and crying some more. 

 

The crying part actually pissed me off some more.  I know it is human to cry but I hate to personally because it feels like I am being weak.  Then I get even more pissed off at the Donor because he made me feel this way.  I usually let my pity party go on for a little while, pick myself back up, brush my tears away and regain my steel spine so I can continue on with my life.  I refuse to allow him to have that much power over me.  He had that power when we were married but not anymore!!!

 

So I have decided that this boil on the butt of humanity is like a bad gift that will not quit giving.  I cannot even call the ass because I do not know where he is at right now.  Really I don’t think he wants me to call him anyways because I have a lot of choice words for him that he probably does not want to hear. 

 

I actually feel better getting the words out and ranting a little bit, so now I am going to go home take out my anger on some weeds that need to be pulled then curl up with Tooters and watch some television.  If anyone out there runs into my ex please let him know that I am waiting for him with a ton of bills worth several thousands of dollar and a foot for his ass. 

 

 

My ass kicking shoes

My ass kicking shoes

What Did I Just Get Myself Into?!?!?!?!

Posted in Blogroll, children, clothes, co-workers, college, cute kid questions, cuteness, early morning, emotional, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, giving, goals, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pictures, random, resolutions, school, seasons, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 18, 2009 by Iron Mom

You know it has taken me 3 months to get here but I made it, I am officially now a college student. I am scared because I am 30 something and been out of school for so long. Luckily I am going to school online this semester and taking only two classes but I am still a little intimidated, I mean I have to learn to study and take tests all over again.

I have to admit I did take 3 classes a few years ago and did not do my best. I started out with hard classes thinking “No problem I am a smart adult, I will fly thru this thing!” OMG I was wrong. Let me just make a suggestion to everyone out there interested in college. It is not impossible for anyone, even single parents like myself, but examine what is going on around you and make sure it is a good time. I tried to do it when I had a 3 year old running around, was working full time one place, part time at another place, going through a nasty divorce, adjusting to being single again, and trying to travel in between. That is a recipe for disaster. So I am trying it again and as of today I am fully admitted, I even received all of my Pell Grant money. Wooo hooo for me!!!

Tooters is now 7 years old so I think she can handle all of it better this time. I set her down the other night and I explained to her that mommy was going back to school so I would need her help so I can pass with good grades. She looked at me and asked if I flunked something that I had to make up. I gently told her how this is good for us and will help me in my job. Then I heard my words come flying out of her mouth:

“Well you know you cannot play with your friends, the computer or anything until your homework is done. That means right after work mom, that is what you said the rule is!”

OMG what a little momma she is turning into. Even the other day riding our bikes home she made sure I was on the sidewalk behind her because it made her feel safer that I was not so close to the traffic. Crap that is what I tell her all the time. The other night I was on the phone and she overheard me cussing about something so she came into the room and reminded me that the words I was using are unacceptable and I need to remember proper manners. Holy hell I thought when I was a mommy living on my own there would be no more censorship. Well she sure showed me I guess.

I thought I would brag a little bit that I am a full fledge college student. I am stoked and so starting in May if I don’t blog as much you know where I am, hiding with my nose in a text book lol.

Lost Marbles, Found Marbles

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, clothes, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, seasons, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 12, 2009 by Iron Mom

Today for some reason is just a frustrating day and I think I will tell a little story to lighten things around here.  This story is based on actual events, however no finger pointing will be done and the identity of the main kid will remain secret.  It will not be revealed because I am afraid of retaliation and great bodily harm lol.

 

Once upon a time there lived a brother and sister.  They were close in age and loved each other dearly even though the mother could not tell by all the fighting done during the day.  At the end of the day brother and sister were put into the bathtub together (they were still young enough to do this) to peal off several layers of dirt, grim and who knows what else.  There was extra scrubbing involved this night because of a muddy project in the backyard and the mother wanted to make sure she had brought the right kids into the house. 

 

Brother and sister had heard the term digging to China and wanted to test the theory.  They found the perfect spot in the middle of the yard, in the garden and with the help of the neighbor kids started digging.  Since it was fall and most of the garden was picked the mother watched this going on thinking,

 

 “Oh God please let them dig till they are exhausted and go to bed early tonight!”

 

Well after a couple hours and a few feet later they found out that the further down they went the more mud they found.  The mother sprang off of the porch to start pulling kids out of the hole that was several feet down before they got stuck for good.  See she did not think they would get as far as they did, but she was sadly mistaken.  The kids had dug far enough down that they were getting into a water table that part of the town sits on.  After some crying and fussing all the dirt was returned to the hole, China would have to wait for another day I guess.  Neighbor kids were sent home to their parents, brother and sister were sent to the tub. 

 

Now this is where everything got interesting and I know the mother could feel the hairs on her head going not gray but white.  The little bit of sanity that she was holding onto for the night disappeared.  What happened was not bad but it was another one of those funny kid moments that you do not dare laugh in front of them, but you just cannot help yourself.  So here we go.

 

Once it was revealed that the proper kids were in fact in the bathtub the mother rinsed them off and decided to get sister out first.  Out came the little girl and the mother set about getting her dried off and started combing out the ten feet of rats nests sitting on top of her head.  The whole time the little boy is still playing with his toys in the tub.  Just when the mother was almost done there was a blood curdling scream coming from the bathroom.  The fear was evident in the mother’s face and you could see the thoughts in her head racing through.  The little girl was quickly moved aside and the mother went from the hallway outside the bathroom to standing next to the tub in a fraction of a second. 

 

Now with all the squealing coming from the little boy you would have thought there was blood everywhere or there were missing limbs.  Instantly the little boy realized mother was standing there and he looked up with all the alligator tears on his cheeks and started freaking out.  He kept repeating over and over again,

 

“I swear mommy I didn’t do it!  I swear I did not put anything in my mouth I don’t know how they got into my body!  I promise I did not do it! WWAAAAHHHH!!!”

 

The mother for the life of her could not figure out what was going on and finally got the boy to calm down enough he could tell her what was going on.  Now when I tell you what he said just close your eyes and try to image all of this in your head.  Are you ready?  OK here it is straight out of the boy’s mouth while he is looking straight down the whole time.

 

“Mommy I swear I do not know how the marbles got in my body.  I am a big boy, I don’t put things in my mouth anymore and I don’t remember swallowing my marbles.  So I don’t know how they got there!”

 

The mother perched on her knees next to the tub staring at the little boy still not quite comprehending what he was telling her asked him if he can feel the marbles and can he point to where they are at. 

 

The little boy took a deep breath, calmly looked at his mother and point to his……… “area”.  Instantly it dawned on the mother he found his “beans” and being a toddler thought that he swallowed some marbles and they got stuck there.

 

Without a word she calmly stood up walked out of the bathroom, yelled for the boy’s father and told him he was needed in the bathroom right away.  Honestly I don’t know what happened to the mother the rest of the night she simply walked away shaking her head, giggling, and saying,

 

 “What next?”

 

So that is my story for the day, I will leave the speculation of the boy’s identity to you.  Those of you that read my story that knows who I am in the real world and you do not quite know who it is just think really hard and you will figure it out.  As for the little boy, I am soooooo sorry and please don’t hurt me lol. 

 

Have a great day everyone!!!!!!!!!