Archive for the horror Category

Does Your Costume Speak To You?

Posted in children, clothes, costumes, cuteness, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, fun, funny, ghosts, halloween, holiday, horror, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, random, single mom, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2009 by Iron Mom

Well it is that time of year again when we all dress up for Halloween, scare ourselves silly with movies, take the kids trick-or-treating in cold weather and indulge in a little to much candy for 2 weeks afterwards.  This also means I get to post another Halloween list. 

Keep in mind this is just for fun and my warped perspective on things.  This year I was thinking about costumes, Tooters and I love to dress up, and I realized that personality and mood has a lot to do with what you choose to wear.  I am talking more about the adults than the kids.  They tend to follow the trend more than the adults.  Let’s break it down! 

Princess – Women that dress up like a fairytale princesses love to be pampered and wants everyone to do her bidding most of the time.  She is ultra girly with a liking for sparkly long dresses made out of taffeta.  She also sees herself as a little better than the common woman and truly believes that the knight in shiny armor exists while she walks around with her head in the clouds.

Vampire – Anyone that chooses this has a dark side that they may or may not keep hidden.  They have a lust for blood, danger power and sex.  They have a controlling side that can erupt at anytime especially at night.  The women are extremely tough of both mind and body with a super sexy side.  Cunning and wit are always present whether the common man realizes it or not and they are excellent predators.

Superhero – Whether it is the side kick or the woman of the hour this is a woman with great powers of her own.  She is controlling in a good way, fights for the underdog, protects the weak and looks great doing it.  There is nothing this woman cannot do, or at least thinks so.  She has a super strength that goes with a super body even if it is a little hidden under a layer of ice cream and chocolate.  She juggles a million things at once and makes it look easy.

Witch – There is way more than meets the eye with this woman.  She is not only crafty and creative but baffling and hard to figure out.  Is she the good witch or the bad witch?  What evil/good is lurking underneath it all?  The limits to her powers are endless.  You better watch out she will cast a spell over men that keep them coming back for more without realizing why.  There is definitely mystery there and she will only let you see what she wants you to.

Animal – This is a pretty simple one.  Any woman that dresses up like an animal is showing what is hidden behind the sugar and spice she displays everyday.  She can be playful, mean, sneaky or cuddly.  She can be a tiger in or out of bed when she is alone with you.  She can also be the nurturing type that would rather wrap herself around you for protection, warmth and love.  So really this one cannot be broken down as well as the other ones.

 Clown – Oh there is so much more than meets the eye on this one, I actually see two different ones here.  Women that are funny make the greatest clowns of course and tend to love kids.  They dress up to please the little ones and make them laugh.  But on the other hand they are also hiding. Hiding a truck load of issues behind the make-up, funny wigs and goofy huge clothes.  Some of these women are a little sad on the inside but don’t want others to see it, they like to keep a happy face instead.  They deflect and avoid what is going on in their heads by being goofy on the outside.  They say tears of a clown for a reason.  

 Ultra sexy/slutty anything – This is not a loose woman so don’t let the clothes tell the story, at least for most of them.  No this woman is confidant and secure in her own skin.  This is the one night of the year it is ok to flaunt every single inch of what she was blessed with or worked for.  In every day life this might the mom down the street in sweats or the woman in the cubicle next to you that wears a boring power suit on most days.  She wants to be noticed everyday and might not know how to achieve that, so this is her way to cut loose and scream look at me I’m hot!!!!!

 So there you have it my Halloween post for the year.  I could have gone on and on but did not want to bore anyone.  Plus I have to leave something for next year lol.  Happy Halloween everyone have fun and be safe!!!!!!!  Lots of love from Tooters, Sunnymom and the Wonder Pup.

A Dork Of A Different Color

Posted in angels, anger, children, cute kid questions, cuteness, emotional, entertainment, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, iritation, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, school, seasons, single mom, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 5, 2009 by Iron Mom

Well this is my first post in a while so I think I will start it off on a lighter note.  I want everyone to start off with a smile today.  There is a lot of things going on in my life right now that I need to get out and will write about later, but they are sad and happy both at the same time.  Since I am in a little bit of a down mood today I will continue with the happiness that is the latest adventure of Tooters. 

 We have had a rush of new families move into the neighborhood lately and with them came the little bratty boys up the road.  They have been teaching the little girls all kinds of inappropriate vocabulary, which I am just thrilled about……NOT!!!!!  I seem to be doing a lot of explaining about things that no 7 year old should be asking about.  Plus with them being a little bit older they are trying to play the whole girlfriend/boyfriend drama crap with the girl next door that is a little older than Tooters.  Now my daughter wants nothing to do with that game.  She says that boys are ok as friends but as boyfriends they are just trouble.  I am so proud!! 

 So here is what happened.  Last Friday my new boyfriend and I (yippy I have a great guy finally) were sitting on the couch watching TV waiting on Tooters to get home from the school just enjoying the quiet.  She came barreling through the door all excited to tell me what happened on the bus.  I got her to sit down and breathe a little bit then let her go on with her story.

 Apparently one of the little bratty boys that rides the bus with her decided to push her out of the way and steal her seat.  Well this did not go over well with my daughter.  She told me that I should be proud of her because she did not hit him for it.  So far this is going good, especially with her track record of getting into one or two fights with the boys every year.  Honestly I was not ready for it this soon into the school year.  But she did inform me that she stood up for herself and this is what she told the brat.

 “Look here you little whore you better get out of my seat right now!”

 As soon as the words left her mouth my jaw dropped and my elbow went into my boyfriends ribs because he was laughing behind his hand.  Holy crap I was speechless for a minute and Tooters sat there waiting for my reply all proud of herself.  You could actually see her chest all puffed out.  I collected myself and asked her where she heard that from.  She said that the brat that is her friends “boyfriend” calls her that all the time.  I asked her if she knows what it means and she said of course she does it means a big dork. 

I carefully explained to her what it really meant and why we do not call people whores.  This was so hard to do since she is sitting there all innocent, I am dying to laugh and my boyfriend is giggling.  It took a little bit but we got it all discussed and I told her since she did not really know what it meant at the time she was not in trouble, but I better never catch her calling people that again.  I sent her off to change out of her school clothes and the second she left the room this is what my BF had to say,

“OMG she is so your daughter!”

 Now what was that suppose to mean?  I am sweet, innocent, sugar and spice, well at least that is what I keep telling people.  For some reason they always laugh at me when I say it.  Anyways I keep picturing my dainty daughter on the bus with the word whore coming out of her mouth at the little boy and it does make me smile.  Then it hits me, if she is like this now what is she going to be like as a teenager.  Holy hell am I in for some rocky interesting years ahead of me!! 

I am seriously considering selling her early if this is a slight glimpse of what is coming my way.  Any takers?  She can be returned at the age of 18, I promise I will let her back in the house at the time.  Anyone out there that has advise for me to help keep me out of the loony bin it would be greatly appreciated lol. 

The Amazing Stranger & His Amazing Advice

Posted in anger, blogging, Blogroll, children, emotional, entertainment, family, friends, frustration, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, iritation, kicking ass, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, random, shopping, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 2, 2009 by Iron Mom

Dear Asshat At The Store,

           Sir I would like to extend a warm fuzzy thank you for your wonderful advice at the store the other day.  The fact that you were so concerned about my daughter and me is very heartwarming.  You do not see that enough now days. 

          I know that the line we were in was very long and the store was hot so I understand the frustration you were expressing to your friend. Heck if one of my friends were there I would have made a couple of statements as well.  However just a slight suggestion, nothing compared to what you told me, next time you decide to let loose with a five minute rant about how slow the arthritic cashier is by loudly saying “f*ck” over and over again please try to be a little quieter.  My daughter is very smart and knows that that is not a good word but she does not need to hear it right in front of her for that long.  Neither did the toddlers behind me in line or the kids in the next lane.  I know they heard it too since you were talking loud enough for half the store to hear your frustration.

           Just remember you are visiting my town not the other way around.  I understand that our quaint little town depends on tourist like you for income but there is such a thing as respect.  Maybe that is why you offered me the highly valued advice that you did. 

          When I politely asked you to tone it down or lower your voice just a little bit, I was not trying to be critical.  If I came across rude when I finally asked you to “Shut the hell up!” I sincerely apologize.  Then when you turned around to me and opened your mouth I was in complete awe of what wisdom you bestowed upon me.  I will be sure to pass it on to all of mommy friends.

          “Bitch shut the f*ck up!  Your daughter is going to hear that word the rest of her life you better start anesthetizing her to it now.  So f*ck, f*ck, f*ckity, f*ck, f*ck!”

          Those words right there are just pure music to my ears.  The fact that you admitted you have no kids, when asked, and you are still able to help me out in this way is just phenomenal.  Honestly I have only been a single parent for over seven years now and never once did that line of thought come into my mind.  If you ever have kids in the future they will be so lucky to have you as a dad. 

          “Well sir, with your obvious extensive vocabulary you can take that word and go to hell!  I am not talking to you that way so return the respect…..f*cktard!”   Just slipped out of my mouth so I apologize for that too, since you were just trying to help me out with your advice. 

          Please enjoy the rest of your stay in our beautiful town and don’t forget to keep spreading your advice to other people you come across.  I really hope they receive it as well as I did or better. 

 

Sincerely,

 

The Eternally Grateful Mom At The Store.

 

P.S. My dad is a nurse in the emergency room, so when you do arrive there eventually call me and I will be right down to be by your side.  It is the least I can do for you……fucktard!!!

The Neighborhood Cujo

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, dog, emergency, emotional, exercise, family, frustration, help, hope, horror, humor, iritation, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, pets, pictures, puggle, random, scary movie, single mom, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2009 by Iron Mom

With my insane schedule right now I worry about not spending enough time with Tooter’s, so I have been making an extra effort to make sure she is getting the attention she needs.  I take one day every weekend and we go do something special, then I come home and hit the books hard.  I usually end up studying until midnight but I think that the trade off is worth it.  Anyways in order to keep my sanity Tooter’s and I have been jogging at night with the Wonder Pup.  Last night we ate kind of late so we just walked the neighborhood instead and boy was it eventful. 

 

We did our usual route all up and down a couple of streets before coming to the through street we turn on.  Everything was normal, you know the usual kids out playing in the street, occasional dogs wondering around and typical neighborhood noises.  Well when we got close to the intersection that brings us back to our road it happened…… we were attacked.

 

Really I am not joking!  There is this house with a cute three foot wooden fence in front that we were walking by with a couple of big dogs in the yard.  Now the Wonder Pup cannot see through the fence so she does not pay attention to the dogs unless they come over and bark at her first.  This doesn’t bother me because they are just talking to us and protecting their yard.  But last night was different the huge rotwieller that weighs more than me actually jumped the fence. 

 

Ok I am not afraid of dogs but watching this thing fly over the fence put the image of Cujo in my head.  I managed to shove Tooters out of the way so she would not get bitten, at the same time looking up for the owners.  The Wonder Pup was scared and trying to bark while hiding behind me at the same time.  All this did was piss off the dog even more and made it chase her around me to get at her.  I ended up turning circles to keep the rot away from the Wonder Pup and try to keep from getting bit myself.  Poor Tooters was scared but I don’t remember hearing her scream or cry, however when it was done I saw a few tears that escaped.  

 

Anyways all I could think to do was scream, “Help me! Help me! Come get your dog!” 

 

I did this over and over for what seemed like eternity until the man came out of the house to get his horror machine.  He did ask me if the dog bit anyone.  The thing is he asked it like he was asking about my day, very calm like this is a normal conversation for him.  I told him that the dog flew over the fence and came after the Wonder Pup and me. 

 

Now here is where things heated up.   I was so scared and full of adrenaline that we started walking away still trying to process what happened.  The wife came flying out of the door and called me a liar because the dog did not bite anyone.  I calmly told her I did not say the dog bit us just that it came after us.  She looked at me like I was a piece of shit on her shoe and informed me the monster is friendly and would not hurt anyone. 

 

I beg to differ after seeing it launch itself at us but I did not want to get into a fight with her in front of Tooters.  I just wanted to get us safely home, check every inch of us for damage and cuddle Tooters till we both stopped shaking.  The bitch kept giving me the stink eye and saying nothing really happened.  You know I managed to keep my cool for as long as I could and tried to keep going towards home, but I finally just had to say something.  So I informed her that if my daughter has even a drool mark on her she would be in a world of shit and I would call animal control. 

 

This is just an empty threat but it made me feel better at the time.  The fear of retaliation kept me from calling anyone since I just live around the corner.  It is times like this I have to be extra cautious since it is just the three of us in the house.  Plus the Wonder Pup is outside all day while we are gone and what would stop them from harming her.  This is also the time of year I start working at nights as well so I cannot protect the house. 

 

I got home, calmed down and checked everyone for marks.  Wouldn’t you know it the only one that came out of it with a mark was me; I have a nice little bruise from one of the teeth.  Needless to say I am sitting here today reconsidering calling someone about that dog.  It is not fair to us that we can no longer walk that part of the neighborhood with the fear of being attacked again.  What’s to say next time the stupid monster actually bites one of us??

 

Tooters did tell me as she was getting into bed that she is going to save up for a dog bigger than Cujo around the corner so it can protect the Wonder Pup and us from being attacked again.   This was so sweet I just hugged her and hugged her until it was time to read to her. 

 

I just want to play, I swear

I just want to play, I swear

P.S. I found out that reading my psychology book to her at night helps me study and man does it put her out quick lol.

The Gift That Won’t Quit Giving

Posted in anger, bills, blogging, Blogroll, cuteness, deadbeat dads, emotional, exhusbands, fall, family, frustration, funny picture, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, iritation, kicking ass, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pictures, random, resolutions, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 20, 2009 by Iron Mom

As everyone is well aware of I am a divorced single working mom trying to survive paycheck to paycheck and not lose my mind in the mean time.  Well I had something happen last week that almost pushed me over the edge.  I once again received another “gift” from my ex-husband that I fondly refer to as the Donor.  That is basically all he is.  I thank him all the time for giving me the gift of Tooters but that is the only thing that I want to keep from him. 

 

I know I have ranted about it before but I just do not understand how someone can help create this beautiful and hilariously lively little girl then walk away without looking back.  Unless, his mom forces him to have contact or he is trying to look good for his new woman in his life.  But on the other hand I am selfish and get her all to myself to enjoy her everyday antics, frustrations, and love.  He has had no contact with her for over a year now and not seen her face to face in three.  As for child support, don’t even get me started on that one.

 

Anyways I was checking my email like I always do and I saw that I had an email from my old satellite company, Dish Network.  I have been getting emails from them since I had service with them way back when I was married.  I usually just delete it since I just figured they were advertisements trying to get my business again.  This time was different the subject line read, “View your estatement now!” 

 

What the hell?!?!?! What statement?? I have lived in Utah for over five years since leaving him and he was suppose to take my name off of all the bills.   So of course I called the company and asked how they could bill me for service I have not had in that long.  Here is what I got told,

 

“Well Mrs. Donor this is an outstanding bill for pay-per-view porn movies from 3 years ago.  You will need to pay this immediately or else we will be forced to send it to collections and it will go on your credit report.”

 

Now here is the thing, I have been in my house for over 4 years with cable because I cannot attach a satellite to the house per my landlord.  I, calmly as I could, explained this to them and even gave them the number to my cable to company if they wanted to verify that I have not even lived in the state of New Mexico since before the bill was accrued.  I probably used a few words that I shouldn’t have, but I was so beyond pissed I could not help it.  I think I could actually hear the first young lady on the phone blush a little bit.  To you young lady I am really sorry. 

 

Of course they declined and after I talked to several “supervisors” I got told they will do what they can to get my name off of the bill and send it to the Donor but they could not make any promises.  That actually asked me for his address.  I was at a loss for words by this point and told them just take the name off of the account and I do not watch smutt like that then hung up the phone before screaming and crying some more. 

 

The crying part actually pissed me off some more.  I know it is human to cry but I hate to personally because it feels like I am being weak.  Then I get even more pissed off at the Donor because he made me feel this way.  I usually let my pity party go on for a little while, pick myself back up, brush my tears away and regain my steel spine so I can continue on with my life.  I refuse to allow him to have that much power over me.  He had that power when we were married but not anymore!!!

 

So I have decided that this boil on the butt of humanity is like a bad gift that will not quit giving.  I cannot even call the ass because I do not know where he is at right now.  Really I don’t think he wants me to call him anyways because I have a lot of choice words for him that he probably does not want to hear. 

 

I actually feel better getting the words out and ranting a little bit, so now I am going to go home take out my anger on some weeds that need to be pulled then curl up with Tooters and watch some television.  If anyone out there runs into my ex please let him know that I am waiting for him with a ton of bills worth several thousands of dollar and a foot for his ass. 

 

 

My ass kicking shoes

My ass kicking shoes

To Be, Or Not To Be A Hottie??

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cute kid questions, cuteness, emotional, entertainment, exercise, family, fitness, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, school, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2009 by Iron Mom

Recently Tooters came home from school and informed me that there were two new boys at her school.  One is in 1st and the other is in kindergarten.  Well these two boys are very taken with Tooters, especially the younger one.  They have become thick as thieves at school.  Tooters even told me that one of her friends is the girlfriend to the older one and some jealous mean girl tried to break them up.  Oh the drama is starting already. 

 

Anyways the other day Tooters’ and I rode our bikes to her school. This has become our daily thing when it is not SNOWING.  Do you hear me Mother Nature quit PMS’ing and give me back my spring weather. She parked her bike I talked to my friend Dolly for a while then got on my bike to ride back to work.  Everything seemed just fine with the world. 

 

The end of the school day rolled around and back down to the school I rode to get Tooters’ and her bike, then back to work we would go so I could finish up some paperwork.  I wanted to hurry and get it done so we could get the 3.8-mile ride home finished before dark.  I told you that Tooters’ is trying to kill me riding that much in a day!!!!

 

We get back to my office and she pulls out her homework but looks like she has a load on her mind.  I just let her think about it for a while, I want her to come to me to talk about stuff when she is good and ready no pressure.  Sure enough pretty soon she tells me that we need to have a talk. 

 

T – “Mom you know my new friend in my class?” (This is the younger of the 2 boys)

 

M – “Yes, I thought you were such good friends and played together everyday?”

 

T- “We do, but something happened today and it hurt my feelings really bad.”

 

 M- “Are you going to tell me what it is?  I cannot help you figure out a solution if you do not tell me what happened.”

 

T- “He kept calling me a name all day.  He even chased me on the playground singing it and would not stop when I asked him to.  Mom it hurt my feelings!”

 

At this point her whole face just crumpled and she started to cry.  I am not talking just a few tears I am talking about the huge, super hurt, heartbreaking, flowing, alligator tears.  I scooped her up into my lap, rubbing her back while I tried to calm her down. 

 

M- “Honey just take a deep breath and tell me what he said.  I am sure we can figure this out together.”

 

T- “M-m-m-mom he kept saying (hiccup) all day (hiccup/burp) Tooters is a hottie!  Tooters is a hottie! (hiccup/cough).  It-it-it made me feel b-b-bad! (hiccup/hiccup) WWWAAAHHHH!!!!”

 

I just looked at her and thought to myself do not laugh at this little girl it will crush her even more.  Holy little girl drama batman, what do I do?  How I did not burst out laughing I am not sure, things got a little hazy at this point lol.  Calmly I explained to her what a hottie was, and that he was not saying it to be mean.  Suddenly the clouds parted, angels sang and she was bright and shiny again.  Tooters hopped off my lap and went back to her homework like nothing happened. 

 

Well I could not resist, that night I called the boys mother and told her what happened.  She is from the south and pretty proper but that is part of why I like her, she was horrified.  She said boys aren’t suppose to call girls that and she would talk to her son.  The boy’s mother told him not to use that word while I was on the phone and this was his response:

 

“Mom calling her pretty is boring and beautiful is to old fashion.  I am being hip!”

 

She was speechless and I just told her I would talk to her in the morning.  If I did not hang up the phone when I did I was going to lose it.  I thank God everyday for my Tooters, but on days like this with this much entertainment I thank him a million times over!!!! 

 

What Went Bump In The Night???

Posted in angels, Blogroll, children, cuteness, dog, emotional, entertainment, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, ghosts, growing up, help, hope, horror, humor, insomnia, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, scary movie, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 24, 2009 by Iron Mom

Ok, some of the blogs that I read every morning had mentions of ghosts in them. Now I am not a jumpy type and I do not scare easy. I love to watch scary movies alone on the weekends and I believe that I have an old man ghost in my house that has been with me for several years. However they got me thinking last night about it before I went to bed and I ended up dreaming about ghosts. No nightmares just dreams, but it is what happened when I got up in the middle of the night that was funny.

Every night when Tooters’ goes to bed I turn on her stereo so she can listen to books on tape. Don’t get me wrong I still read to her but she likes to have the noise in the bedroom with her. Right now she is in the middle of the Little House On The Prairie series, I think she is on the 4th book now. I am like this also; I have a noisemaker I listen to every night.

Well last night was a really bad night for me because I had gotten some bad news and I ended up sitting in my room at one point in the evening crying. Sweet little Tooters, who I thought was playing computer, snuck into my room with some Kleenex and dried my tears for me then laid down to hug me. All she wanted to do was make me feel better. AWWWW!!!!

So when it came to bedtime she asked if I would rock her since it always makes me feel better. After she was asleep I continued to hold her for a while then carried her to her bedroom. As always I turned on her story on the CD player, put it on repeat, then went about my business of going to bed myself.

Now as some of you already know I am a pretty bad insomniac and last night was no different. I was up wandering the house several times and dreaming about ghost in between walks. Around 3am I was up wondering the house and checking my email when I heard something very strange. I live in a neighborhood so I am used to sounds plus with the noises in the house; it is just normal to hear stuff all night. However this noise was very different it only lasted a second or two then quit. This was happening every minute or so.

Now like I said I am not jumpy so I sat in the dark in my computer room and just listened to it for a while trying to figure out what it was and which room it was coming from. It sounded like a male saying, “Lo, h’lo”.

Finally I got up and went through the house looking around and checking the doors. I then stood in my dark living room calling out, “Hello, who is there?”

When I got no answer I wondered is my old man of the house finally starting to make more noise?? I slowly made my way back towards my room and heard the noise again and a lot louder coming from Tooters’ room. I went in and found out that the CD that was on the loop was skipping and a man was saying hello. I took a calming deep breath, turned off the stereo and went back to bed.

After a while I laid there thinking about it and started to giggle. Here I am a kind of small non-threatening woman, alone in a house with a dog that would rather lick you than anything else, and a 7 year old daughter. What the hell was I going to do in the middle of the night with nothing to protect myself if it really had been someone in the house? I guess I could have scared them off when I turned on the light and they saw my bed head.

Like I said I am not scared to be in my living situation, but on the other hand I think I am going to the junk store today for a cheap golf club just incase, you can never be to careful in this day and age.