Archive for the puggle Category

The Neighborhood Cujo

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, dog, emergency, emotional, exercise, family, frustration, help, hope, horror, humor, iritation, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, pets, pictures, puggle, random, scary movie, single mom, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2009 by Iron Mom

With my insane schedule right now I worry about not spending enough time with Tooter’s, so I have been making an extra effort to make sure she is getting the attention she needs.  I take one day every weekend and we go do something special, then I come home and hit the books hard.  I usually end up studying until midnight but I think that the trade off is worth it.  Anyways in order to keep my sanity Tooter’s and I have been jogging at night with the Wonder Pup.  Last night we ate kind of late so we just walked the neighborhood instead and boy was it eventful. 

 

We did our usual route all up and down a couple of streets before coming to the through street we turn on.  Everything was normal, you know the usual kids out playing in the street, occasional dogs wondering around and typical neighborhood noises.  Well when we got close to the intersection that brings us back to our road it happened…… we were attacked.

 

Really I am not joking!  There is this house with a cute three foot wooden fence in front that we were walking by with a couple of big dogs in the yard.  Now the Wonder Pup cannot see through the fence so she does not pay attention to the dogs unless they come over and bark at her first.  This doesn’t bother me because they are just talking to us and protecting their yard.  But last night was different the huge rotwieller that weighs more than me actually jumped the fence. 

 

Ok I am not afraid of dogs but watching this thing fly over the fence put the image of Cujo in my head.  I managed to shove Tooters out of the way so she would not get bitten, at the same time looking up for the owners.  The Wonder Pup was scared and trying to bark while hiding behind me at the same time.  All this did was piss off the dog even more and made it chase her around me to get at her.  I ended up turning circles to keep the rot away from the Wonder Pup and try to keep from getting bit myself.  Poor Tooters was scared but I don’t remember hearing her scream or cry, however when it was done I saw a few tears that escaped.  

 

Anyways all I could think to do was scream, “Help me! Help me! Come get your dog!” 

 

I did this over and over for what seemed like eternity until the man came out of the house to get his horror machine.  He did ask me if the dog bit anyone.  The thing is he asked it like he was asking about my day, very calm like this is a normal conversation for him.  I told him that the dog flew over the fence and came after the Wonder Pup and me. 

 

Now here is where things heated up.   I was so scared and full of adrenaline that we started walking away still trying to process what happened.  The wife came flying out of the door and called me a liar because the dog did not bite anyone.  I calmly told her I did not say the dog bit us just that it came after us.  She looked at me like I was a piece of shit on her shoe and informed me the monster is friendly and would not hurt anyone. 

 

I beg to differ after seeing it launch itself at us but I did not want to get into a fight with her in front of Tooters.  I just wanted to get us safely home, check every inch of us for damage and cuddle Tooters till we both stopped shaking.  The bitch kept giving me the stink eye and saying nothing really happened.  You know I managed to keep my cool for as long as I could and tried to keep going towards home, but I finally just had to say something.  So I informed her that if my daughter has even a drool mark on her she would be in a world of shit and I would call animal control. 

 

This is just an empty threat but it made me feel better at the time.  The fear of retaliation kept me from calling anyone since I just live around the corner.  It is times like this I have to be extra cautious since it is just the three of us in the house.  Plus the Wonder Pup is outside all day while we are gone and what would stop them from harming her.  This is also the time of year I start working at nights as well so I cannot protect the house. 

 

I got home, calmed down and checked everyone for marks.  Wouldn’t you know it the only one that came out of it with a mark was me; I have a nice little bruise from one of the teeth.  Needless to say I am sitting here today reconsidering calling someone about that dog.  It is not fair to us that we can no longer walk that part of the neighborhood with the fear of being attacked again.  What’s to say next time the stupid monster actually bites one of us??

 

Tooters did tell me as she was getting into bed that she is going to save up for a dog bigger than Cujo around the corner so it can protect the Wonder Pup and us from being attacked again.   This was so sweet I just hugged her and hugged her until it was time to read to her. 

 

I just want to play, I swear

I just want to play, I swear

P.S. I found out that reading my psychology book to her at night helps me study and man does it put her out quick lol.

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Do You Have A Little Marley In Your House??

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, cuteness, dog, Dolls, emotional, entertainment, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, growing up, healing, hope, humor, iritation, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, pictures, puggle, random, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized on April 11, 2009 by Iron Mom

Tooters and I watched a touching movie tonight that gave me the urge to write. We sat up and watched “Marley and Me”. If you have not seen this movie I highly suggest that you do. It is one of the feel good type of movies that makes you smile and leaves you crying at the end. Not only that but it makes me want to wrap up Tooters and the Wonder Pup in an extra big hug and love them with every part of my body.

We all have a little Marley in our lives mine just came in the form of a puggle. At the end of the movie the main guy points out how dogs loves us not for what we are or what we have but just for taking care of them, loving them and being there. I think if the whole world had a little more Marley that it would be a nicer place to live and love.

My little piece of Marley chews underwear, dolls, trash and everything in between. I am not even sure how most of it gets digested but it does. But no matter how much the Wonder Pup chews, barks, jumps on people, or misbehaves we love her just the same. She is always there when we get home for the day excited just because we walked through the door. We go to bed at night and she is so eager to get into the bed with me just to be hugged and loved.

This brings me to a funny little story that happened tonight. Tooters and I got home around 10:00. As usual I got my house key out and we walked up to the door. Earlier in the day I had opened the blinds on my side door to let the sunlight in and forgot to shut them before leaving. Well we peeked in to see what the Wonder Pup was doing and she was asleep on her princess pillow. I don’t know what made me do it, but instead of just opening the door like normal people I rattled it like I was trying to break in.

Now normal dogs would bark their heads off with their hair standing up on the neck ready to kill who ever was trying to come into their home. But not my Wonder Pup! The Marley in her came out full force. She jumped off of her pillow and ran straight into her cage that I keep in the kitchen with the door open. There among her pillow and blankets she hid from us. Tooters and I melted in a fit of giggles as I rattled the door some more. When we looked in to see what was happening I saw just one black eye and ear peeking out of the cage door looking at the noise. Quick as a flash she ran up the hallway towards the bedrooms then peared around the corner with just the one eye and ear again. Tooters and I probably looked like a couple of goons standing on my side step rattling the door and giggling until our sides hurt. Finally I opened the door and the Wonder Pup tackled us in a fit of licking like usual.

In the short time I had left my little piece of Marley she had managed to find Tooters’ Polly Pockets and chew them. I am sure I will be finding pieces of rubber clothes in her poop in the yard in the next few days. But in spite of all this we love our Wonder Pup no matter what she does. We may get mad at her less then stellar behavior sometimes but she is ours and we know that she loves us back above all else.

This just proves that she is all bark and sometimes not even that lol. I just hope that she lives a very long time so we can continue to have her in our lives. I may not have a big family or even a normal one, but I have my girls. The three of us fill my house with noises of love and happiness that I will treasure forever. I would not give it up for the world.

When I dreamed of a family as a kid I never thought that this is the type of family I would end up with. However it is mine and we are rich with love and that is more than I could ever have asked for. So with that I am headed to my bed for the night to cuddle with my daughter and Wonder Pup. I will fight for room and covers but do it willing and very happily.

 Good night everyone!!!!

I'm really good when I am asleep!!

I'm really good when I am asleep!!

You Might Be A Parent If……..

Posted in angels, anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, clothes, co-workers, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, Dolls, early morning, emergency, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, puggle, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 3, 2009 by Iron Mom

I know this is my first post in a while but it has already been one hell of a year for me.  Between my heater going out for a whole week and finding out really bad stuff about my ex, I just have not been in the mood to blog.  Which is a huge mistake because I get such joy out of it.  So as a tribute to my readers, especially the awesome parents out there, you know who you are, here is one of my lists that people seem to enjoy so much.

 

Jeff Foxworthy has made the saying you might be a redneck if….

 

Well I have decided that I want my own catch phrase and since I always laugh at what he says this pays a little homage to him to, hence the title.  You know since I am a little redneck myself lol.  So here it goes my top ten things that make a parent a parent:

 

1. At any given time you have been in the middle of the grocery store and someone points out an unidentifiable substance on your shirt.  You being the parent first smell it and if it is not rank lick it, sending the other person away gagging into their grocery bag.  Come on it was just a little chocolate.

 

2. You go rushing out of the house in the morning to get the kids to school and in the mad dash to get them there on time you get pulled over.  After the cop looks at you like you have 2 heads and the kids in the backseat are letting you know that they are telling dad, you realize you forgot a couple of rollers on top of your head, the fluffy slippers with eyes and the fuzzy bathrobe hanging open.  You know there was a time in your life that would have gotten you out of the ticket not the other way around.

 

3. After a long day of wrestling little ones in and out of the car, fighting with a squirmy puppy, trying to make something that resembles a dinner and getting the kids into bed you try to enjoy the quiet house.  All this is shattered by the husband hollering for his clean socks, his clean towel, and his things for in the morning.  To top it all off he cannot understand why you are not “in the mood” and you do not even want to be touched.

 

4. It is later afternoon the baby is finally asleep and you have a moment to yourself while you fold a mountain of laundry and cuss out the skinny chick on television that had the baby 2 seconds ago and is complaining about wearing a size 5 instead of a 2.  This is when you realize you forgot today is your carpool day so out the door you race in your sweats praying you don’t smell to bad.  Then back into the house you go to get the sleeping baby.  Then back in the house again for the car keys that are now locked inside with the cell phone. 

 

(Let me tell you a post baby body does not slide through the bedroom window like it did fifteen years ago.  It is even worse when the dog is jumping up licking your grunting face from the bed you are trying to aim at, but instead hit the floor.  All you can do is stare at the ceiling while you are waiting for your lungs to re-inflate and think why me?)

 

5. You realize that the terms “pissed on” and “shit on” take on a whole new meaning.  I will not even elaborate on that one.  If you have had a baby you know what I am talking about. 

 

6. Your clothes are no longer your clothes.  Some how the few remaining dresses that somewhat fit and is kind of decent enough for dinner with the husband/boyfriend has become your daughters dress up clothes.  Your one pair of prized hooker heels (come on ladies admit you have a pair hidden in the closet!)  have become their princess shoes for them to wobble around the house in when you are not looking.

 

7. Personal products are no longer personal.  You walk into the bathroom to find your son and his friends shooting your tampons as hard as they can up into the air so they land in the bathtub full of water and expand so fast all they can do is giggle.

 

8.Your silverware drawer that used to have beautiful designs that matched are now mismatched and mis-sized.  This is because most of your spoons are buried in the garden and the forks have become little crucifixes for little green army men. 

 

9. One morning you stumble into work wearing clothes that are barely clean and not really matching, but the dark circles under your eyes actually match your dark shoes.  This is because you have been up all night with one or more kid, being puked on, coughed on, and snotted on.  Then you manage to get a couple of hours sleep after you dose them with nighttime medicine in the middle of the night.  OMG they then bounce out of bed in the morning with a miraculous recovery because there is a birthday party after school they just have to go to or die.

 

10. You swear on your grandmothers grave that if you hear advise or how well someone is going to raise their kids so that they do not act like your little devil spawn running circles around you and they do not have kids; well lets just say they have “by reason of insanity” for a reason. 

 

If you fit any of these then you just might be a parent lol!!!  Re-reading this post I wonder how any of us do it somedays, both with a partner and alone.

 

So welcome back me and let’s hope it gets better for the Nuthouse.  I missed everyone terribly and hope to hear from all soon. 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s A Wad Of Gum On My Wall?!?!

Posted in anger, Barbie, Blogroll, children, cleansing, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, Dolls, emergency, emotional, fall, family, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, growing up, healing, help, horror, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, puggle, random, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 6, 2008 by Iron Mom

I am going to list five things that no mother ever wants to hear from their child.  Then after that I will let you know which one I heard the other night.  But keep in mind I have heard all of these at one time or another.

 

1.     If you feed a whole can of beef stew to the dog will she explode?

2.     What would happen if you tie Barbie to the ceiling fan and turn it on high?

3.     Do we have a stepladder I cannot reach the gum on the wall?

4.     How many flushes does it take to flush Ken?

5.     How permanent are my markers?

 

I really have heard these things from Tooters, so can you guess which one I got hit with the other night?  If you guessed number 3 then you are correct.  Yes Tooters managed to get her gum she was chewing stuck to the wall near the ceiling.

 

The other night I was cleaning on the house a little bit while dinner was cooking when I caught Tooters with her hand in the candy bucket from Halloween.  I told her to get out of it so she did not spoil her dinner.  Tooters said ok and went to the playroom to play while she waited to eat.  I went into the laundry room at that point and started to hang up the wet shirts and put everything else in the dryer. 

 

Everything was right with the universe for a moment.  Tooters was playing with the dog and I was happy with the thought I would not have to go searching for clean socks in the morning.  After about ten minutes she was still giggling like mad when all of a sudden it got very very quiet.  This always scares me because I know she is up to something.  Then the dog went running out of the room when the thumping started.  All I can do is hang my head and hope that it is not as bad as it sounds.  Before I could finish what I was doing I heard the little innocent voice from the playroom.  She sounded very calm and collected like there was nothing strange about asking for a stepladder.  Here is how it really went:

 

T – “Mom do we have a stepladder?”

 

M – “Why do you need a ladder?”

 

T – “Oh just cause.  I need to reach something.”

 

M – “OMG what can you not reach, your toys are already on the floor?”

 

T – “I need the stepladder to get the gum off the wall.”

 

M – “Holy crap on a cracker!  What the hell is the gum doing on the wall?”

 

T – “Moommmmm I was playing with the dog and it got stuck duh.”

 

M – “Why do you even have gum I said no snacks before dinner!”

 

T – “It’s just gum you chew it you don’t swallow it so how can it ruin my dinner.”

With that I gave up the arguing between rooms, finished what I was doing and went to assess the damage.  I walked into the room and there stuck on the wall pretty far up was a wad of chewed up gum with a bubble in it and Tooters under it jumping up and down trying to reach it before I got into the room.  It looked like an alien laid a neon pink egg sack on my wall.  I whipped around and told Tooters she better start explaining and this is what I got.

 

“I was practicing how to blow bubbles and the Wonder Pup wanted to play, so I started tossing it up to see if she would catch it.  She was doing good, she even caught it once.  I blew another bubble to throw some more but it got stuck.” 

 

Ok here I am in the playroom with Tooters looking at me and waiting for me to retrieve her toy.  All I can think of is she put the gum in her mouth after the Wonder Pup touched it with her mouth and is it going to leave a pink circle on my wall. 

 

These are days that that explain the gray hairs I keep finding on my head.  Someday I will post the stories that go with the list at the top but for now I will let you picture the innocent child and the wad of gum in the playroom. 

Seasons According To The Wonder Pup

Posted in Blogroll, children, clothes, costumes, cuteness, dog, emotional, fall, family, friends, fun, funny, funny picture, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, personality, pets, pictures, puggle, random, seasons, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2008 by Iron Mom

OMG winter is almost here if it isn’t already.  I went to bed last night and it was freezing cold with a few snow flurries out my window.  It was actually a beautiful site.  I even left the blinds pulled up a little bit in my bedroom so I could watch until I fell asleep which means summer is definitely gone for good. 

 

But this is not how seasons are determined in my house; a little Wonder Pup decides them.  Here is how it goes.  It starts getting colder in the morning so that means that I jump up out of bed and turn on the heater before the alarm clock rings for the third time.  Tooters and I love the snooze button.  While it is warming up Tooters, the Wonder Pup, and myself huddle under the covers waking up.  After this is done I have to force the dog out of the bed just to go outside to potty.  This is the first indication the seasons are turning because normally she will race me to the door.  My next indication is after she comes in to eat breakfast while Tooters and I get ready for the day, she hides in her crate under her blanky.  Now I have to bribe her to come out so I can put her outside while I am at work. 

 

Don’t worry it is not like I send her out in the elements to freeze.  She has another large dog crate in the backyard covered with an old piece of heavy carpet to keep the wind out and some fleece piled up inside to keep her warm.  Besides when it gets to cold I leave her inside in her bed until it warms up during the day sometimes she prefers to stay there all day.  I know this because for such a little dog she has tons of muscles.  She will dig her little feet in and refuse to move no matter how much I pull on her. 

 

Well last night a storm moved into the area, it is still kind of cold and cloudy today.  I ran home on my lunch break to let her out for a potty break and she refused yet again to go outside when I offered it.  So I finally broke down and brought out one of her shirts.  Holy crap on a cracker she was so excited you would have thought I was offering up a steak lol. 

 

Now don’t laugh at me.  Sure she is spoiled but she only has clothes for the cold seasons, I felt sorry for her sitting around and shivering all the time.  This is what I mean by the seasons according to my dog.  She is now wearing her lightweight fall shirt.  As it gets colder the heavier her sweaters get.  Please don’t judge, but she even has a going out walking/visiting fancy sweater.  Does this mean I am finally morphing into that crazy lady on the corner that treats the pets like kids?  I know winter is fully here when she starts wearing her lightweight shirt to bed at night. 

 

So now you know according to the Wonder Pup it is officially late fall in southern Utah.  I even took a picture of her while I was home today for lunch to show you how cute she really is in her shirt.  The Wonder Pup always struts around after I dress her to show everyone how adorable she is all dressed up.  Boy did I get the blue light special on personality with this one, you can even see it in her face.

Aren't I pretty?

Aren't I pretty?