Archive for growing up

An Indulgent Then & A Rewarding Now

Posted in anger, bills, blogging, Blogroll, children, clothes, college, cuteness, deadbeat dads, early morning, emergency, emotional, exhusbands, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, giving, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, iritation, job, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, single mom, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2009 by Iron Mom

When I was a little girl I had huge ideas of how my life was going to be when I grew up. I listened intently to all the fairytales convinced that that was how real life was. Convinced that there was a prince out there just waiting for me. Waiting to come riding up on his white horse, sword waving, with a smile that I would fall in love with instantly and be there to rescue me. What he is suppose to save me from I don’t know but that is how it was suppose to happen.

Then harsh reality of adulthood sets in and those ideals faded away with my youth. Then came a bad marriage, not enough money, starting over with a child, single mom hood and the every day anxiety of raising a daughter. With that praying I am showing Tooters the right path in life so she will grow up strong and avoid the same mistakes I made. I know that she needs to make her own bad choices at times and make her own mistakes to learn from but as a mother I want to shelter her from all that.

So here I sit thinking about then and now, what a difference a few years make. Wondering how I could have done things different then kicking myself in the butt because I realize my choices made me who I am today. My choices also brought me to a place in my life that I have a career of sorts with the state, I am attending college, living paycheck to paycheck and living with my greatest accomplishment in the world. As we all grow up think about current and past choices we see what we should have done different at the time. Below is irrefutable proof of a maturing mind:

Then: Once I used to be able to party all night just to race home, shower, eat a piece of toast and go to work perky.

Now: Just the thought of a drink sends me running for the aspirin and turns my stomach. The idea of spending an evening at a bar then taking care of Tooters the next day makes a few more white hairs pop out. I would rather watch a movie at home and go to bed early.

Then: Friday night was a race to find as many people to go out with as possible. Scouting out where the hot spots were for the night and wondering how many drinks I could get the cute guy across the bar to buy me.

Now: Friday night is spent watching kid movies, doing laundry, studying or just turning in for the night before midnight. Or sitting in front of the TV with a scary movie after Tooters is finally asleep thinking OMG I am going to pay for this at 7 am when she gets up because it is after midnight.

Then: Jumping in the shower before work with the music blasting at an earsplitting level and enjoying the hot water. Being able to shave my legs and pits in peace without explaining what I am doing or why and not caring if I end up walking around the house nekkid because I forgot my clothes and a clean towel.

Now: Getting in the shower before school/work with Tooters and racing through it so that we are both done before the song ends that is on the radio. Racing out of the shower to get dressed and yelling we are in fast mode because mommy could not pry her eyes open before hitting snooze for the third time.

Then: I used to stand in front of my closet full of cute clothes that were a size 0-5 wondering which one would make my butt look the cutest for the day. Looking in my drawer and have underwear with out holes and a bra that did not have safety pins holding it together.

Now: Looking in my closet wondering which outfit is going to hide the baby pooch that will never go away and the butt that is slowly migrating south. Finding the right bra that will keep my boobs from looking like socks with sand in them. Keeping duck tape in the bedroom to tape the under wire back in place for the day.

Then: Leaving the house smelling like a girl. Every hair in perfect order as well as the make up.

Now: Lucky to escape the house with out smelling to out of place from being puked on all night. Then getting to work and remembering that I only had to time to do one eye and afraid to look in the mirror and see my hair.

Then: Working overtime at my job thinking about the new pair of boots I get to buy for going out. Knowing that all the bills were paid ahead of time and if I wanted to eat out every meal I could because it was just me.

Now: Wondering which bill I can put off for another 2 weeks because Tooters has to have medicine for her ear. Now instead of shopping the specialty shops for myself I run to the thrift store hoping they have something in my size because all my clothes are either stained or do not fit anymore just so that Tooters can have the newest movie that came out. Also praying that the can of vegetables I just threw in the stew will taste ok because that is all I have left in the cupboard.

Looking at my list I realize that my youth was spent being indulgent and selfish. Tooters is such a blessing because she made me grow up and realize there are more important things out there than myself. I enjoy every sacrifice and indulging in her wants now instead of my own. I am sad that it took such a rocky path to get here and I apologize in secret for Tooters not having a normal family like I got to have. But then again I remind myself that we went from a deplorable situation to one that is loving, safe and all mine. I get to reap the rewards everyday and the little arms wrapped around my neck at night and little lips kissing my cheek makes everything ok no matter what kind of day I have had.

Thank you Tooters for being in my life. Thank you mom and dad for your unconditional love and support. Thank you friends for letting me vent and cry when I cannot stand it anymore. Thank you to all the special people in my life for lifting my spirits when I am down.

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Progression Of The Defective Mind

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, cuteness, emotional, entertainment, family, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, giving, growing up, healing, help, hope, horror, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 20, 2009 by Iron Mom

DISCLAIMER:  DUE TO SOME COMMENTS MADE EARLIER I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT I AM NOT SAYING KIDS DO NOT HAVE BRAINS JUST THAT THEY DO NOT ALWAYS USE THEM.  THIS IS REALLY JUST MEANT TO BE A HUMOROUS VIEW FROM A SINGLE MOM.  SO PLEASE BE KIND WITH THE COMMENTS, SOME OF THEM MADE EARLIER HAD TO BE UNAPPROVED.

Why is it that you can tell a child something everyday for years and they do not retain it, but they can tell you what happened on Hannah Montana from a month ago in perfect detail?  I have decided that Tooters has a defective brain and I keep threatening to take her to the Neurologist to have it checked out.  This just supports my theory that kids have some kind of brain malfunction that only corrects itself when they become adults, only for the girls to be cursed with Mommy Brain disorder.  Here is my theory.

 

Birth:  From birth until precious starts to walk and talk they stare at you like they are paying attention to everything that you are saying.  When in reality they are studying your every move and taking notes on your weaknesses.  They are making mental notes of what pushes your buttons and what makes you smile. 

 

1-3 years old:  This is when they really are developing mentally.  Learning to walk just to run from you with a naked butt and leaking on the carpets.  Learning to talk so that they can have a screaming melt down in the middle of the grocery store in front of everyone you know in town.  Perfecting the word “no” for later use.  Teaching themselves the art of silently getting into everything in the house that will make a mess.  Finding every tiny piece of anything and putting it in the carpet for you to step on in the middle of the night so you wake up precious with a foul string of words. 

 

4-5 year old:  All of a sudden the monster toddler becomes sweeter, more obedient, and loving.  This is all apart of the master plan to get you to lower your guard.  You relax thinking that you have a break for the next couple of years before back talking and fights over the chores begin.  But they are just making more observations and mental notes on how to give you gray hairs. 

 

6-8 years old:  Thanks to the brat at school that is to mature for her own good, and seems to know more than any kid that age should, begins to educate your precious child on the art of sassing.  Your child that used to somewhat obey you begins to apply logic and questioning.  This is where the defective brain begins to show through more.  All of a sudden things that you have been telling precious for years goes right out the window.  You lose count of how many times a day you tell them to turn off the lights and pick up their toys.  The bedroom floor?  Forget about it, that will not be seen for the next several years.  

 

9-12 years old:  The defective brain is now in full swing.  Precious no longer remembers anything, except of course every word to their favorite song and who farted in the lunch line.   You repeat yourself so many times a day that you begin to think it would be easier just to record yourself once and put it on a loop on the stereo.  Precious has forgotten that the bedroom should be clean, wet towels hung up and the light switches still are only touched when they are reminded.  Every room they leave looks like a tornado hit it, but they do not understand why your are standing there shaking your head in frustration trying not to explode.  I mean the room was clean an hour ago how can one precious child cause that much destruction?

 

13-19 years old:  There is no longer a brain left to be defective.  Everything you taught precious all these years are null and void because they know better.  You have become an antiquated parrot repeating the same things but not really being heard.  For some reason you have no right to tell precious how to do things because overnight they became smarter than you.  All you can do at this point is beg the doctor for an unlimited supply of Xanax and pray that the teen years are over before you land in the loony bin repeating the same phrase over and over again while you drool on your straight jacket.

 

20- adulthood:  Ahhh relief!  Precious is on their own and you have a quiet house again.  Then one day out of the clear blue sky precious calls you with screaming kids in the background begging you to forgive them.  They realize that you are not old or stupid and you just might have known what you were talking about all those years.  Precious just keeps apologizing and then says something you have been waiting to hear from them for about 20 years or so……….. They ask for your advice willingly. 

 

If my theory is correct I have at least 13 years of pleading, begging, reminding, and repeating to Tooters ahead of me.  Please God give me strength and Clairol please do not go out of business because my gray hairs love you.  Maybe I will stick with my idea and put Tooters up for auction on Ebay at 12 years old.

There’s A Wad Of Gum On My Wall?!?!

Posted in anger, Barbie, Blogroll, children, cleansing, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, Dolls, emergency, emotional, fall, family, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, growing up, healing, help, horror, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, puggle, random, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 6, 2008 by Iron Mom

I am going to list five things that no mother ever wants to hear from their child.  Then after that I will let you know which one I heard the other night.  But keep in mind I have heard all of these at one time or another.

 

1.     If you feed a whole can of beef stew to the dog will she explode?

2.     What would happen if you tie Barbie to the ceiling fan and turn it on high?

3.     Do we have a stepladder I cannot reach the gum on the wall?

4.     How many flushes does it take to flush Ken?

5.     How permanent are my markers?

 

I really have heard these things from Tooters, so can you guess which one I got hit with the other night?  If you guessed number 3 then you are correct.  Yes Tooters managed to get her gum she was chewing stuck to the wall near the ceiling.

 

The other night I was cleaning on the house a little bit while dinner was cooking when I caught Tooters with her hand in the candy bucket from Halloween.  I told her to get out of it so she did not spoil her dinner.  Tooters said ok and went to the playroom to play while she waited to eat.  I went into the laundry room at that point and started to hang up the wet shirts and put everything else in the dryer. 

 

Everything was right with the universe for a moment.  Tooters was playing with the dog and I was happy with the thought I would not have to go searching for clean socks in the morning.  After about ten minutes she was still giggling like mad when all of a sudden it got very very quiet.  This always scares me because I know she is up to something.  Then the dog went running out of the room when the thumping started.  All I can do is hang my head and hope that it is not as bad as it sounds.  Before I could finish what I was doing I heard the little innocent voice from the playroom.  She sounded very calm and collected like there was nothing strange about asking for a stepladder.  Here is how it really went:

 

T – “Mom do we have a stepladder?”

 

M – “Why do you need a ladder?”

 

T – “Oh just cause.  I need to reach something.”

 

M – “OMG what can you not reach, your toys are already on the floor?”

 

T – “I need the stepladder to get the gum off the wall.”

 

M – “Holy crap on a cracker!  What the hell is the gum doing on the wall?”

 

T – “Moommmmm I was playing with the dog and it got stuck duh.”

 

M – “Why do you even have gum I said no snacks before dinner!”

 

T – “It’s just gum you chew it you don’t swallow it so how can it ruin my dinner.”

With that I gave up the arguing between rooms, finished what I was doing and went to assess the damage.  I walked into the room and there stuck on the wall pretty far up was a wad of chewed up gum with a bubble in it and Tooters under it jumping up and down trying to reach it before I got into the room.  It looked like an alien laid a neon pink egg sack on my wall.  I whipped around and told Tooters she better start explaining and this is what I got.

 

“I was practicing how to blow bubbles and the Wonder Pup wanted to play, so I started tossing it up to see if she would catch it.  She was doing good, she even caught it once.  I blew another bubble to throw some more but it got stuck.” 

 

Ok here I am in the playroom with Tooters looking at me and waiting for me to retrieve her toy.  All I can think of is she put the gum in her mouth after the Wonder Pup touched it with her mouth and is it going to leave a pink circle on my wall. 

 

These are days that that explain the gray hairs I keep finding on my head.  Someday I will post the stories that go with the list at the top but for now I will let you picture the innocent child and the wad of gum in the playroom. 

Are You A Freddy or A Jason???

Posted in Blogroll, children, cleansing, costumes, emergency, emotional, family, fire, freddy krueger, friends, frustration, fun, funny, growing up, halloween, healing, health, help, horror, humor, jason vorhees, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, scary movie, sick, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 24, 2008 by Iron Mom

In my opinion in life there are two kinds of people in the world.  You have your Jason people and your Freddy people.  What this means is which horror franchise do you prefer?  Are you the type of person that prefers the Freddy Kruger movies or do you like the Friday the 13th movies?  I believe this is directly related to your personality.  Just keep reading and see what I mean.

Freddy Kruger is gruesome to look at, but you just cannot turn away you have to keep looking at the overall look fascinated by the effect.  This means you are curious and not afraid of a little gore so you are a strong soul.  Freddy starts out with the basic slash of the young pretty girl but he evolves into much more.  His killing style becomes creative even jocular as the later movies come out.  This means that you are artistic and not afraid to take risks in life and you like to be thought provoking.  Freddy stalks his prey and toys with them if he does not get them the first time.  You are patient and if you do not mind trying over and over again to get what you want.  This also means that you are playful and do not mind a side trip now and again.

Jason actually was not in the first movie it was really his mother is concealed behind a mask.  This keeps you guessing and wondering what is behind it.  This means that you do not take people at face value you look beyond that and try to see what they are hiding.  He stalks his victims and seems to mostly stick to his determined gait.  This means you are focused you know where you are going even if it takes you a while.  His killing style is to slash and stab.  This means that you are direct and you cut to the chase so to speak and get it over with quickly.

Now for the weapons of choice.  Freddy has his signature glove with the knives.  However he also invades your dreams and kills from there.  This means that you are a deep thinker and a bit of a dreamer.  You like to use your hands but only for fun and art not for the dirty work.  This does not mean you are lazy you just have a different way of looking at the world.

Jason prefers the machete.  He stalks his prey and then slashes and stabs.  This means you have a direct purpose for what you do and how you do things.  He also sticks to the woods.  This means that you are not afraid of the outdoors or getting dirty. 

So which type of person are you?  Are you a Freddy or a Jason?  Personally I am a Freddy all the way.  I even have a collector’s edition box set of all the movies on VHS still in the wrapper that has never been watched.  I know what a nerd, but leave me alone that is my man.  As you can guess I am a little warped.  So leave a comment at the bottom and let me know what you are.  Happy Halloween.

 

 

 

Super Mom To The Rescue

Posted in anger, Barbie, Blogroll, children, cleansing, Dolls, emergency, emotional, family, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, growing up, healing, health, help, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, pets, quit smoking, random, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 22, 2008 by Iron Mom

Wow we had an exciting night here in my part of the world.  Everything was going fine last night, Tooters was in bed sleeping and I was having some mommy time watching Biggest Loser while I exercised.  You know for some reason when I watch that show I always have the extra huge urge to amp up my exercises, I just don’t know why lol.  At the end of the episode I sat my sweaty self down to cool off and enjoy another bottle of Master Cleanse, yummy its tonsil burning good ;-p.

 

Just as I was cooling off and thinking of the warm new flannel sheets I had just put on my bed the silence was shattered by a gazillion sirens.  OMG it sounded like the world was coming to an end they just would not stop.  Just when I thought I could go to bed another round would race up the road.  Curiosity finally got the best of me and I just had to go and take a look.  So across the street I went in my tinker bell pajama pants, purple fuzzy slippers, and a cozy fluffy green bathrobe.  Boy if I was going to attract a man this was not the night.

 

I finally found out through my contacts working the area it was a fire in the creek bottom and the sheriff’s officer told me to go pack stuff I want to take with me incase I needed to evacuate at a moments notice.  I mean the fire was blazing and the wind was gusting up to 50 mph right towards my house.  The fire was only about a block away.  I got back to the house and did what I had to do then sat down to wait. 

 

But wouldn’t you know it the sirens would not stop.  Now they were racing up and down the road like they were drag racing.  Of course this woke up Tooters.  She is not freaked out by emergency stuff because my mom works for the Sheriff’s office and I work for emergency fire and the forest fires.  Once she caught site of the fire up the road that did worry her a little bit.  So I called my mom and told her to go for a ride with me because there was a several hundred-acre fire going on on the other side of town.  I thought if I could show Tooters how far I had to drive to get to the fire it would make her feel better.  Plus I figured the car ride would either calm Tooters down to be away from the fire by our house or put her back to sleep.   

 

Well I ended up taking her back to my mom’s house for the night because I got called into work and I had to race over to a friend’s house to help her pack because she might be evacuated too. 

 

Just as I was dropping Tooters and my mom off Tooters got very serious and made me promise to do something for her.  All she wanted me to do was go back to my house for a couple of things for her.  She wanted her new Barbie with the dogs, the Barbie her uncle bought for her, and her favorite doll she has been carrying around since Christmas.  The darn thing is named Sarabell Lavinia Chandelier —–.  What a mouth full for a six year old. 

 

I asked her if she was worried about the Wonder Pup and she said, “You are a good mommy you would not let anything bad happen to her, I trust you will get her out too!”

 

I thought it was so cute that she picked those items that had been bought for her by very special people to save first.

 

 My mom snuck into another room from Tooters and called me this morning at dispatch to let me know that Tooters talked about those things all night in her sleep.  What she did not know is when I ran to the house to get her school clothes for today I snuck those items into her bag just so Tooters knows I really do listen to her.   Then my cell phone rang and it was Tooters telling me how much she loved me because I saved her babies.  Needless to say today I am on cloud nine knowing that my daughter thinks I am the hero of the Barbie’s and babies.  Just think I don’t even need to fly I just needed my Kia with the spare tire on it instead of a cape lol.

Little Kid in a Big Body

Posted in Blogroll, children, cleansing, costumes, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, growing up, halloween, healing, health, help, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, quit smoking, random, sick, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2008 by Iron Mom

I know this is highly unusual that I am posting twice in one day but I am so excited Tooters and I received our costumes in the mail today.  Halloween falls on a Friday and since the state of Utah has decide we all need to work 4 10 hour shifts I am off to help at the school with their party.  You know I love having a little one in the house because it gives me the excuse to be a big kid. 

 

So, this year Tooters and I have decided to come up with a theme for our costumes.  Yes this means I am dressing up too.  We found a wonderful website that has great costumes that do not cost an arm and a leg. 

 

Tooters is going to be a cute spider witch, I will post a picture of both costumes at the bottom, and I will be a spider pixie. (The pictures are the costumes not us in them that will be later)  Now Tooters is going to look adorable as usual I just need to figure out what to do with her hair and make up.  Then I am going to squeeze my big old self into the pixie costume and pray I do not bust any seems or scare anyone away.  Then I need to decide how to do my make up.  My hair is simple it is short enough to spike, it is black and has purple streaks in it. 

 

Here is my other problem.  My friend has decided that we need to split a baby-sitter and go out to a costume party at one of the local bars that has a very good local band playing.  This is where it gets hard for me, I do not go out and the last time I was at a bar was a year ago.  I always feel awkward and out of place with all of the couples around me.  Plus with my diets and cleansing I do not drink or smoke. 

 

My friend assures me that it will be fine and we can lean on each other for security.  She is just like me, never goes out to the bars and has a hard time in crowds.  She is my friend that is single, divorced, with a daughter at home.  Either we will have a great time and party it up on our very rare night out as adults or we will end up doing what we did the other night.  We went to the movies and instead of going out afterwards we went back to her house for herbal tea and turned in early.  OMG I am turning into an old lady AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

 

So wish me luck on Halloween.  Between the school party, trick-or-treating with the kids, and then the adult party afterwards I am going to be beat on Saturday.  I do have to say I am kind of looking forward to it.  Maybe I am growing and finally realizing it is ok to have a night out like that with out feeling guilty.  After all I am human and single after all.  I will definitely let ya’ll know how it went.  I am sure I will have a couple of new stories for the blog lol.   

 

 

Tooters' spider witch dress with webby wings

Tooters

My spider pixie wings are webs like Tooter's sleeves

My spider pixie wings are webs like Tooter

P.S. This has relit the fire under my butt to re-start my cleanse and stick to it. Even if it kills me lol. 

 

 

Just A Little Help From A Wonderful Friend

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, emotional, family, friends, frustration, funny, growing up, healing, health, help, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, quit smoking, random, sick, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2008 by Iron Mom

I have to send out a huge hug and a very big thanks to one of my good friends today.  Sunday I was attacked by the stomach flu.  Every time I moved or stood up it felt like someone had stabbed me in the tummy and off to the porcelain goddess I would run.   Thankfully Tooters’ is a wonderful kid and she spent most of the day bringing me water and taking my temperature.  For some reason this gives her great pleasure when I am sick to stick that thermometer into my arm pit every chance she gets.  Hey if it keeps her happy then bring it on little one lol.  She also is very good about watching Disney (thank god for Zack and Cody) and coloring.  I almost cried when she made me a get well card all by herself.  She is in first grade so of course the spelling was crude but I will treasure it all the same. 

 

Anyways Sunday night in between trips to the bathroom and quick nap on the bathroom floor, for some reason this always seems to make me feel a little better, I called my friend to let her know that the dinner we have been trying to plan has to be put on hold until I feel better.   Then she said some very beautiful words to me,  “Since you are staying home from work why don’t you let me bring Tooters’ home for you?  That way you do not have to get up and get dressed.”

 

OMG if I could have jumped through the phone and kissed her at that moment I would have in a heart beat.  You know sometimes in life there is nothing better than good friends like that.  Plus she is a single mom and has gone through a lot of the same things that I have so she understands me and my crazy side. 

 

On a side note and I have probably said this in other posts but I think I will mention it again.  It is times like this that I get very pissed off and frustrated with the Donor.  Here I am knocking on deaths door but I am still up feeding Tooters and doing all of the mommy stuff that I do everyday instead of trying to rest and get rid of this flu.  I just imagine him being sick and lying on his mom’s couch with her waiting on him hand and foot, if not his mom then whatever girlfriend he has tricked into thinking that he is a good man.  I am not wishing to be married or back with the Donor but sometimes I do wish I had that second person in the house to help so I do not have to rely on friends and family so much.

 

So to my friend thanks and god bless you.  You are a bright shiny example of a truly

thoughtful friend and someday I hope I can return the favor. 

 

 

P.S. I gave up my Master Cleanse after a day and a half when me and my friend made plans to have lasagna rolls for dinner.  But I think I will restart it today if my tummy will not stage a mutiny and reject anything that I attempt to swallow.  I will update you on my progress if I can even get started today.  You would think this would be a good time, my tummy surely shrank from not really eating a lot and I do not really want any food right now.  Who knows what will happen so wish me luck.  Oh one last thing, it has been two weeks and I still have not smoked and I have gone one week without my anti-strangle the boss patches.