Archive for hope

Please Silence The Back-Seat Instructor

Posted in anger, Billy Blanks, children, clothes, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, early morning, emotional, exercise, family, fire, fitness, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, Jillian Michaels, kickboxing, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 13, 2009 by Iron Mom

I honestly do not know what has gotten into me lately but I have decided that I am not busy enough in my life at the Nuthouse, here is why.  As of yesterday I am now a half time college student starting classes this summer.  Why I picked that time I really don’t know since that is the start of fire season.  Fire season for me is pure hell.  I work my regular job plus back up dispatch for the fire center, which means a lot of night shifts.  But I cannot pass up all of the easy overtime no matter how zombie like I am during the day.  Well at least I can study all I want at night when it is quiet. 

 

Since I am finally no longer sick, I have had a bad cold for 2 months now, I have decided to throw myself back into exercising.  However since I work ten-hour days I struggled with how I was going to squeeze in a work out on the days I am working.  Then it hit me, since I am an insomniac I should get up before the butt crack of dawn and put in one of my work out DVD’s.  This was just a brilliant plan until Monday morning came along and the alarm clock went off at 4:30.  What in the hell what I thinking?  Naturally I hit the snooze button a couple of times, but I had forgotten I set a back up alarm the night before.  So at 4:50 Tooters’ alarm clock in her room started going off.  Bless that child she has learned wonderful things from me and hit the snooze button on her clock too lol. 

 

I actually did get up 5 minutes later and stumbled into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot so it would be ready by the time I was done.  I got dressed and Tooters followed me out to the living room to see what I was up to.  This always stresses me out a little bit because she is a back-seat instructor and the dog wants to play.  I told Tooters she could be in the room with me but she either had to exercise with me or stay quiet.  I plugged in Jillian Michael’s kickboxing and went about my business.  I hate her at the time but I do believe I have a little girl crush on her especially after The Biggest Loser. 

 

Pretty soon I glanced behind me to check on my kiddo and there she is relaxing on the couch with the blanket up to her chin and her hand over her mouth.  That snot is doing everything that she can not to laugh at me out loud.  I swear to you that she was the prettiest shade of purple and I just knew that she was going to explode before to long.  This was really not the best time for me to see this since I was hot and panting like the dog.  Then here came the comments:

 

“Mom you are not keeping up with Jillian.”

 

“Mom you are not kicking high enough.” 

 

“Mom you are supposed to move your hands like Jillian.”

 

“Why are you stopping the DVD is not over yet?”

 

“They are not stopping for water, and why are you bent over like that?”

 

“What is that look for I am just trying to help?”

 

Finally I told her to come and show me how it is done since she is proving to be the expert.  OMG I thought I was going to die laughing at how hard she was trying but just not quite getting it right.  She gets an “A” for effort in my book though.  After it was finished and we were getting ready to leave the house she informed me that we need to practice, of course I agreed and herded her out the door.

 

We got to my office around 6am and the poor thing was plain worn out when we got there.  She pushed two chairs together, balled up her jacket for a pillow, curled up under the blanket I keep at my desk and went back to sleep until it was time for school.  It was adorable and horrible at the same time.  I would have given my left toe to be back asleep like that.

 

This morning as sore as I was I decided that I would get up at the same time and work out to Billy Blanks ab boot camp.  You know I hate all of these fitness people at the time because I am hurting and realizing that I just cannot keep up so I blast my music while they are on mute.  In my mind it eases the pain.  Well I hit snooze as usual but this time Tooters pushed her cold little toes into my leg (she sneaks into my bed regularly) and told me to get up it is time to exercise.  I could not let my daughter who looks up to me think I am some kind of wimp, so I forced me and my jello legs out of bed and got dressed.

 

Thank goodness Tooters decided to do the whole routine with me instead of staying on the couch.  She said that this is because she can do the floor exercises easier.  We got about ten minutes into it and I was starting to get hot so I pealed off my shirt and was down to my sports bra (no safety pins today) and sweat pants.  Man am I a site to behold in this get up.  I am glad that most of the world is still asleep at this time and not driving pass my partially open windows seeing my tummy bouncing around.  Tooters suddenly looked at me and said that she just cannot exercise this way and disappeared down the hall.  This was ok because this meant that the Wonder Pup would follow her and there would be no laughing when I start huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf in Tigger sweat pants. 

 

After a couple of minutes I could hear her running up the hallway and hollering that she was coming.  She rounded the corner and I thought I was going to die.  Tooters had changed out of her nightclothes and put on bright pink sweat pants with her bikini top that looks like my sports bra.  She even put on her tennis shoes and announced that now she could properly finish her work out.  She really uses the word properly a lot.  Holy crap on a cracker (still my favorite saying) she kicked my ass on the floor exercises!!!  This is very sad that I was out done by a 6 year old.  There will be a funeral for my ego in the near future.

 

This put me to so much shame that I think tonight I will “forget” to set her alarm clock and just sneak out of bed to do my stuff alone.  My luck she will jump up and join me anyways.  So please say a prayer for me that I will be able to still move in the morning and that I do not strangle the backseat instructor on the couch. 

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The 2009 Mommy List

Posted in anger, Blogroll, boss, children, clothes, cuteness, dog, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, giving generousity, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, holiday, hope, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, new years, parenting, personal, personality, pets, pictures, quit smoking, random, resolutions, seasons, shopping, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2009 by Iron Mom

As a mother I am accustomed to giving up things for Tooters on a daily basis.  Don’t get me wrong I am not complaining in the least, but I have recently sat down and really looked at what needs I have that are just not being met.  Which is totally my fault and I actually love the joy it brings me to give up something so that I can put a smile on Tooters face.  Even if me and my sanity suffer in the long run.

 

This brought me to thinking about my New Year’s resolutions.  Does anyone ever really fulfill their resolutions or just talk about them for 6 months before only to be forgotten with in weeks of the New Year?  So instead of making some ridiculous resolution list that I am going to bag in a few weeks then spend my time feeling guilty about.  I decided to make a realistic mommy list of things that I am going to do for myself throughout the year that I neglect regularly.  After reviewing my list I think all mom’s both married and single should make one. Here are the ten top things I am going to do for myself in 2009.

 

1.     Go bra shopping before I am down to the only one that I own that is held together by safety pins.

 

 Yes sadly to say I am sitting here in a bra that I am praying will make it another couple of weeks and no one thinks the funny lump under my shirt is a nipple piercing.  I already have purple and black hair and tattoo’s, I don’t need people looking at me like I am a complete freak. (Personally I hate to shop for a new bra it is a waste of precious time that I could spend on other activities.)

 

2.     Take an extra few minutes in the morning to actually enjoy a hot shower, and maybe even use the different settings on the showerhead.  Shut up you perverts not for that!!

 

I totally race through my showers and even have it down to getting in and out before a full song can play on my stereo.

 

3.     Let the dishes pile up in the sink for a night so that I can enjoy a hot cup of tea and read a grown up book.  Again perverts keep it in check, I am talking about my murder mystery books.

 

As much as I love to read Dr. Suess or Fancy Nancy to Tooters it would be nice to get back to reading the types of book I did before she was born.  At least more than one or two pages at a time, which is what I do now before Tooters demands my attention.

 

4.     Find time to exercise in peace without Tooters trying to imitate me and the Wonder Pup thinking it is playtime. 

 

Tooters loves it when I pull out my exercise DVD’s, because after giving it a 5 minute effort to keep up she just ends up laughing at me and asking why I am not doing it like the ladies on the DVD.  The Wonder Pup thinks she is helping every time I do the floor exercises by jumping on my stomach that is already sore. 

 

5.     Buy myself a new pair of jeans that actually fits so that I don’t look like some saggy ass stoner from behind. 

 

In the last year I have lost a little over 50 pounds and now none of my clothes fit properly.  They either are falling off of my body or the last 2 pairs that do some what fit are starting to fray.  I am a little afraid every time I bend down that my thighs or ass are going to come flying out.  Heck I might as well add a new shirt while I am at it.  I look like Omar the tent maker is my stylist.

 

6.     Buy new underwear that fit and are not full of holes. 

 

Again since the weight-loss I have not invested in new underwear, another waste of time for me.  However now I have the biggest granny panties you have ever seen and I need suspenders just to keep them up.  Maybe I could just hook them to my safety pins on my bra and start a new trend.  Not to mention that most have holes in them and I have to be careful where I grip them to pull them up.

 

7.     Grocery shop in peace.

 

All you mothers out there know what I am talking about so I will not elaborate on this one.

 

8.     Go to bed early. 

 

Instead of trying to pick up toys, straighten the house, or squeeze in one more load of laundry just bag it all and go to bed right after Tooter’s is asleep.  I am an insomniac but sometimes it would be nice to see what it is like to be able to be in bed for more than 5 or 6 hours in a single night even if I end up watch late night T.V.

 

9.     Ban Miley Cyrus from my car stereo.

 

Tooters and I love good loud music (is there any other kind) when we are in the car, but when I am on main street and she has her window down I tend to slump down in my seat and if I am wearing a hat pull it a little lower.  People tend to notice me before seeing my 6 year old in the back seat and I end up looking like an old freak.  You know sometimes I just need a good old fashion cuss fill grown up song to rock out to.

 

10. Quit smoking for good this time.

 

Oh hell I had to have at least one hard one in there.  I know I quit a few months ago but the holidays are so hard for me I could not take it and started up in the last month.  So I broke out the anti-strangle everyone patches and slapped one on.  I even let Tooters break my last two smokes and throw them away. 

 

So there you go there is my list.  I know this post was kind of long for me and I apologize but I just had to share.  I would love for some of you mommies out there to share what would be on your mommy list.  Happy New Year’s everybody I hope it is a good one!!!

Trying to look happy for a Monday!!

Trying to look happy for a Monday!!

The Angels Among Us

Posted in angels, Barbie, Blogroll, children, christmas, cuteness, dog, Dolls, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, giving, giving generousity, growing up, healing, health, help, holiday, hope, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pictures, random, santa, seasons, snow, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 29, 2008 by Iron Mom

You know people say that there are angels walking among us and I finally have proof that they really are.  What I am about to tell you still makes me a little misty eyed thinking about it so if you are a sensitive soul get out your tissues. 

 

My parents have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt they are extraordinary, kind, selfless, beautiful people that I am so honored to know.  This year my parents decided that they were going to donate part of my dad’s bonus check to the food bank or pick a kid off of the angel tree to help out for Christmas.  After some serious discussion they came up with a better plan for the money.  They called me on my cell phone and asked me if my friend I hang out with all the time (she is really cute like a little doll, that is what I will call her Dolly) had received any presents or money from her ex in the mail for her daughter.  Her daughter is Tooter’s best friend and they are only a week a part with the exact same tastes in life.  They even have deadbeat dad’s that do not take their responsibilities serious.  I told my mom I was almost to her house I would just stop in. 

 

I got to her house and she pulled me into her bedroom and asked me again if Tooter’s Best Friend (TBF) had presents under the tree and if her dad had sent her anything.  I told her that he did not send anything and with money being really tight Dolly had presents under the tree but not a lot.  That sealed it we got Dolly on the phone and asked her what TBF needs or wants for Christmas.  She did not know what to say on the spot like that so we told her that we would give her a few minutes while my parents got ready to go to the store and they would call her back. 

 

The whole time my mom was telling me what her plan was I kept thinking in the back of my mind, “Do not cry, do not cry!!!”  I did not want to be tear stained in front of Tooters and have to try and come up with an excuse.  So we tossed around a few ideas and came up with getting her some snow boots since she is wearing tennis shoes in the ten tons of snow we have received and a snow shovel like Tooter’s since she has such a blast with it.  We called Dolly back and let her know they were off to the store and if she thought of anything else no matter what it is to call them back on the cell.  I stayed behind with Tooter’s and my brother who had come into town for a couple of days. 

 

After a little while my mom calls me from the store to ask if TBF has a bike.  I told her that she does but it is to small for her.  Well that settled it TBF was getting a brand new big girl bike for Christmas that will last her for the next couple of years at least.  My mom told me to get Tooters to another part of the house when they pulled up so that they could go out and cover the bike up with a blanket until they could get it over to Dolly’s house.  We decided that after Santa left the house that night (I had it arranged for him to come to the house and even bought some cheap dolls with a couple of outfits for the girls to open up with him.) and the girls are playing with the new toys Dolly and my dad would sneak out of the house and stash the bike and other stuff at her house for the next morning.  Bless my beautiful parents they even bought a gift certificate to Kohl’s for Dolly so she would have something from Santa to.

 

Well while my mom and I were taking a look at the presents and talking about them I noticed that the snow boots looked funny.  I picked them up and they were super light with no tread on the bottom.  Then I noticed the size it was 13-1, shoes are not sized that way just slippers.  I pointed this out to my mom so we left Tooter’s with my dad and brother so we could go look for real snow boots.  We checked three stores before going back to the store she originally got them at, they were told that was all they had.  Something told us that we needed to check again.  We hit the shoe isle and there on a low shelf in a box that had not even been opened was a pair of purple and black very cute snow boots in TBF’s size.  OMG they were meant to be hers so we scooped them up and exchanged the slippers for the boots. 

 

We talked to Dolly and TBF the next day, they said it was a wonderful Christmas.  TBF could not wait to show Tooter’s her presents from Santa and invited her to come and play the next day.  Dolly got a little sniffly on phone when I asked her if she got the little bag with the gift certificate in it.  She still cannot believe what my parents did for her.  I told her just enjoy it and buy something nice for herself with the gift card or save it and we could go shopping together.  I can still hear the gratitude in her voice and it makes me feeling wonderful knowing someone in my family did that for her.

 

This whole thing made my heart swell up with pride for having the parents that I do.  This whole act of kindness still makes me misty sitting her writing about it.  I just hope and pray that someday when I am more financially sound so that I can have an amazing opportunity to pay it forward.  Someday many many years from now I will sit down and tell Tooter’s the story of a Christmas made perfect just by giving and hope she will continue to have the generous nature she has now and help out some else out like her grandparents. 

 

I hope every one had an incredible Christmas like I did!!  Happy New Years everyone and remember to be safe.

angel

A Little Extra Hope For Us All

Posted in Blogroll, children, christmas, cleansing, cuteness, dog, emergency, emotional, family, friends, growing up, healing, health, help, holiday, hope, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, seasons, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2008 by Iron Mom

By definition hope means: to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment, to expect and desire, or to look forward to with confidence or expectation. 

 

This time of year it seems like we all have a little more hope than any other time.  We hope for peace, good holidays, safety for family, or many other things.  But there are some of us that hope for more.  We hope for the love of our families and a good person without expectations.  We hope for the wisdom to guide our children in hopes that they become the wonderful adults that we all know that they can be.  We hope for the patience and understanding for the times that the children are not at their best. 

 

Then there are those of us that hope for the more critical things in life.  We hope for enough money to be able to give our children something under the Christmas tree.  We hope for enough money to be able to keep the heat on and pay rent for another month.  We hope that with the economy collapsing around us we have a job for another month.  We hope to be able to buy food for another week. 

 

So with Christmas looming just around the corner maybe we should all take a moment and remember these people that are hoping everyday for something better to come along.  We need to give a moment to the troops and their families that are hoping daily for their safety.  We need to give a moment to the struggling parents, both single and married.  We need to give hope to the poor children without good homes.  We need to give hope to the people without a home.  We need to give hope to each other for every reason we can think of.  

 

I know that it is still a few days from Christmas but with the snow blowing outside my window I was in the mood to send out a Christmas message from Tooters, The Wonder Pup and myself now. 

 

Merry Christmas blogging world and here is some hope for all of us.

Is It Finally My Time??

Posted in Blogroll, emotional, family, frustration, healing, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, random, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2008 by Iron Mom

Here is the deal, I left The Donor five years ago this coming January and so far I have not had the urge to date.  I have focused on trying to climb out of debt that he put me into, (anyone have extra money on hand for a poor single mom, now accepting donations) and most importantly my daughter.  So really it has not been a big deal.  Don’t get me wrong I still like to look at a cute guy but if it anything more than that I get nervous.  Why would I want to jump back into that fire?  My marriage was not the best and left a bad taste in my mouth and trust issues on the side.  I have been asked out a few times but I always find an excuse not to.  Really I should not do that, I don’t want to project my issues with men onto Tooters, but then again I have grown accustom to my lifestyle and it suites us right now. 

 

Now here is the glitch in the whole thing, I am starting to get a spark of interest in the idea of just casual dating.  I got very sick this winter and packed on the pounds and since February 1st I have managed to shed 54 pounds.  I think I look tons better, feel great, and I like the

attention I have been getting recently.  So here is my dilemma, I don’t know how to meet guys anymore.  I have been off the market for almost ten years.  Plus I live in a tiny town that I grew up in so I know almost everyone here and that makes it even harder to date. 

 

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel…..I hope.   My best friend that is like a sister to me has a pre-school here in town and she told me about a single dad that has started coming in a couple times a week just to volunteer and bring his daughter with him.  My friend did not have any more room in the program so this is his way of getting his daughter in at least a couple days a week.  OMG if I was to start dating I think this is the kind of guy I would be interested in.  So I kind of felt like I was back in school again the other day by giving my friend the mission to find out more for me and see what she could do to introduce us. 

 

This is an ideal guy to date.  He would be patient about kids things, accepting and understanding about breaking plans for little tummy aches or because there is no baby-sitter available.  Plus his daughter is 4 just 2 years younger than Tooters.  Wow I hope this works.  I was starting to wonder if I really was meant to just sit back and watch all the other happy couples in the world pass me by.  Either that or I really am destined to be the crazy old cat lady on the corner with no cats.  I am getting there, I am getting older and I live on the corner LOL.   Holy hell I think I am starting to heal finally.  WOOO HOOOO FOR ME!!!!