Archive for life

An Indulgent Then & A Rewarding Now

Posted in anger, bills, blogging, Blogroll, children, clothes, college, cuteness, deadbeat dads, early morning, emergency, emotional, exhusbands, fall, family, friends, frustration, fun, giving, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, humor, iritation, job, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, random, single mom, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2009 by Iron Mom

When I was a little girl I had huge ideas of how my life was going to be when I grew up. I listened intently to all the fairytales convinced that that was how real life was. Convinced that there was a prince out there just waiting for me. Waiting to come riding up on his white horse, sword waving, with a smile that I would fall in love with instantly and be there to rescue me. What he is suppose to save me from I don’t know but that is how it was suppose to happen.

Then harsh reality of adulthood sets in and those ideals faded away with my youth. Then came a bad marriage, not enough money, starting over with a child, single mom hood and the every day anxiety of raising a daughter. With that praying I am showing Tooters the right path in life so she will grow up strong and avoid the same mistakes I made. I know that she needs to make her own bad choices at times and make her own mistakes to learn from but as a mother I want to shelter her from all that.

So here I sit thinking about then and now, what a difference a few years make. Wondering how I could have done things different then kicking myself in the butt because I realize my choices made me who I am today. My choices also brought me to a place in my life that I have a career of sorts with the state, I am attending college, living paycheck to paycheck and living with my greatest accomplishment in the world. As we all grow up think about current and past choices we see what we should have done different at the time. Below is irrefutable proof of a maturing mind:

Then: Once I used to be able to party all night just to race home, shower, eat a piece of toast and go to work perky.

Now: Just the thought of a drink sends me running for the aspirin and turns my stomach. The idea of spending an evening at a bar then taking care of Tooters the next day makes a few more white hairs pop out. I would rather watch a movie at home and go to bed early.

Then: Friday night was a race to find as many people to go out with as possible. Scouting out where the hot spots were for the night and wondering how many drinks I could get the cute guy across the bar to buy me.

Now: Friday night is spent watching kid movies, doing laundry, studying or just turning in for the night before midnight. Or sitting in front of the TV with a scary movie after Tooters is finally asleep thinking OMG I am going to pay for this at 7 am when she gets up because it is after midnight.

Then: Jumping in the shower before work with the music blasting at an earsplitting level and enjoying the hot water. Being able to shave my legs and pits in peace without explaining what I am doing or why and not caring if I end up walking around the house nekkid because I forgot my clothes and a clean towel.

Now: Getting in the shower before school/work with Tooters and racing through it so that we are both done before the song ends that is on the radio. Racing out of the shower to get dressed and yelling we are in fast mode because mommy could not pry her eyes open before hitting snooze for the third time.

Then: I used to stand in front of my closet full of cute clothes that were a size 0-5 wondering which one would make my butt look the cutest for the day. Looking in my drawer and have underwear with out holes and a bra that did not have safety pins holding it together.

Now: Looking in my closet wondering which outfit is going to hide the baby pooch that will never go away and the butt that is slowly migrating south. Finding the right bra that will keep my boobs from looking like socks with sand in them. Keeping duck tape in the bedroom to tape the under wire back in place for the day.

Then: Leaving the house smelling like a girl. Every hair in perfect order as well as the make up.

Now: Lucky to escape the house with out smelling to out of place from being puked on all night. Then getting to work and remembering that I only had to time to do one eye and afraid to look in the mirror and see my hair.

Then: Working overtime at my job thinking about the new pair of boots I get to buy for going out. Knowing that all the bills were paid ahead of time and if I wanted to eat out every meal I could because it was just me.

Now: Wondering which bill I can put off for another 2 weeks because Tooters has to have medicine for her ear. Now instead of shopping the specialty shops for myself I run to the thrift store hoping they have something in my size because all my clothes are either stained or do not fit anymore just so that Tooters can have the newest movie that came out. Also praying that the can of vegetables I just threw in the stew will taste ok because that is all I have left in the cupboard.

Looking at my list I realize that my youth was spent being indulgent and selfish. Tooters is such a blessing because she made me grow up and realize there are more important things out there than myself. I enjoy every sacrifice and indulging in her wants now instead of my own. I am sad that it took such a rocky path to get here and I apologize in secret for Tooters not having a normal family like I got to have. But then again I remind myself that we went from a deplorable situation to one that is loving, safe and all mine. I get to reap the rewards everyday and the little arms wrapped around my neck at night and little lips kissing my cheek makes everything ok no matter what kind of day I have had.

Thank you Tooters for being in my life. Thank you mom and dad for your unconditional love and support. Thank you friends for letting me vent and cry when I cannot stand it anymore. Thank you to all the special people in my life for lifting my spirits when I am down.

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Special Ed Strikes Again

Posted in boss, co-workers, cuteness, early morning, emotional, entertainment, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, healing, help, hope, humor, job, life, personal, personality, politics, random, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 15, 2009 by Iron Mom

Ok readers it is time for a silly boss story to be posted.  I have previously posted a story (Missing: One Brain Cell Possibly More) about my boss and promised more so I decided to make good on it today.  All stories about my boss are true I swear.  So here it goes. 

 

This is the time of year that we start looking at budgets for the fire center operation costs for the upcoming summer.  It is always a little stressful to try and break it down and come up with a number that will satisfy everyone involved.  Keep in mind this was last year and after what happened I am not sure he will want my opinion this year lol. 

 

My boss (Special Ed) came into my office and sat down to go over it with me.  He likes to do this and get my input since I am over there and I know what is going on.  Well we got right to it and started going down the list.  It is pretty standard stuff like supplies, training materials, and day-to-day things.  Then he gets towards the bottom of the page and gets this very perplexed look on his face.  I sit there watching his face contort in confusion waiting for him to tell me what is on the page.  Finally he speaks up and asks me what this certain charge is for and why it is so much, this is how the conversation went:

 

SE: “What is a face smile and why am I paying $300 for it?”

 

Me: “A what?!?! Can you repeat that again?”

 

SE: “A face smile, a face smile, what the hell is a face smile??”

 

Me: “OMG are you serious? Did you just say what I think you said?”

 

SE: “Yes a face smile, what is that, I am being serious?  Can you please explain this to me?”

 

At this point all I can do is stare at him not really believing my ears, my brain actually starts to hurt trying to process this information.  Then here comes the laughter.  At first it is just a little giggle then as I think about what was just said I start laughing harder and harder.  The secretary across the hall actually came and checked on me because I was laughing so loud and so hard.  I just could not help myself and I think at one point I peed a little.  This was the type of fit that your stomach cramps up, there are tears running down your cheeks, and you start making the retarded faces because no noise is coming out just a little gasping sounds as you are trying to inhale before you pass out. 

 

Poor Special Ed is just sitting there asking me to explain to him what is so funny.  I finally calmed down enough to tell him what is so funny.  He was looking at the charge for the FACSIMILE’S!!!!!!!  As soon as I said it I started laughing again, this really just struck me as hilarious.  Special Ed at that point reminded me who signs my timesheets and that my yearly evaluation was coming up.  He jokingly told me that I am replaceable.

 

Now for some reason these are the times when my brain misfires or something and comments fly out of my mouth before I can stop it.  I don’t know why and usually I regret it as soon as I am done speaking and I have regained control of my mouth, but not this time.  What I said next was perfect for the moment and has become a legend in the office.  This is what flew out:

 

“Can you confirm that with a face smile?”

 

At this point one of my co-workers in the next office that was listening to the whole thing exploded with laughter with me.  Special Ed at this point just hung his head with defeat and shuffled up the hallway disappearing for a while.  He did eventually come back.  When he did he peaked around the corner and asked if I was done laughing at him so he could come back to work. 

 

We still joke about it in the office from time to time and laugh all over again.  God I love my boss some days, he definitely keeps things very interesting for me.  So next time you are around a fax machine just remember according to Special Ed it is a face smile lol.  

Please Silence The Back-Seat Instructor

Posted in anger, Billy Blanks, children, clothes, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, early morning, emotional, exercise, family, fire, fitness, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, Jillian Michaels, kickboxing, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 13, 2009 by Iron Mom

I honestly do not know what has gotten into me lately but I have decided that I am not busy enough in my life at the Nuthouse, here is why.  As of yesterday I am now a half time college student starting classes this summer.  Why I picked that time I really don’t know since that is the start of fire season.  Fire season for me is pure hell.  I work my regular job plus back up dispatch for the fire center, which means a lot of night shifts.  But I cannot pass up all of the easy overtime no matter how zombie like I am during the day.  Well at least I can study all I want at night when it is quiet. 

 

Since I am finally no longer sick, I have had a bad cold for 2 months now, I have decided to throw myself back into exercising.  However since I work ten-hour days I struggled with how I was going to squeeze in a work out on the days I am working.  Then it hit me, since I am an insomniac I should get up before the butt crack of dawn and put in one of my work out DVD’s.  This was just a brilliant plan until Monday morning came along and the alarm clock went off at 4:30.  What in the hell what I thinking?  Naturally I hit the snooze button a couple of times, but I had forgotten I set a back up alarm the night before.  So at 4:50 Tooters’ alarm clock in her room started going off.  Bless that child she has learned wonderful things from me and hit the snooze button on her clock too lol. 

 

I actually did get up 5 minutes later and stumbled into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot so it would be ready by the time I was done.  I got dressed and Tooters followed me out to the living room to see what I was up to.  This always stresses me out a little bit because she is a back-seat instructor and the dog wants to play.  I told Tooters she could be in the room with me but she either had to exercise with me or stay quiet.  I plugged in Jillian Michael’s kickboxing and went about my business.  I hate her at the time but I do believe I have a little girl crush on her especially after The Biggest Loser. 

 

Pretty soon I glanced behind me to check on my kiddo and there she is relaxing on the couch with the blanket up to her chin and her hand over her mouth.  That snot is doing everything that she can not to laugh at me out loud.  I swear to you that she was the prettiest shade of purple and I just knew that she was going to explode before to long.  This was really not the best time for me to see this since I was hot and panting like the dog.  Then here came the comments:

 

“Mom you are not keeping up with Jillian.”

 

“Mom you are not kicking high enough.” 

 

“Mom you are supposed to move your hands like Jillian.”

 

“Why are you stopping the DVD is not over yet?”

 

“They are not stopping for water, and why are you bent over like that?”

 

“What is that look for I am just trying to help?”

 

Finally I told her to come and show me how it is done since she is proving to be the expert.  OMG I thought I was going to die laughing at how hard she was trying but just not quite getting it right.  She gets an “A” for effort in my book though.  After it was finished and we were getting ready to leave the house she informed me that we need to practice, of course I agreed and herded her out the door.

 

We got to my office around 6am and the poor thing was plain worn out when we got there.  She pushed two chairs together, balled up her jacket for a pillow, curled up under the blanket I keep at my desk and went back to sleep until it was time for school.  It was adorable and horrible at the same time.  I would have given my left toe to be back asleep like that.

 

This morning as sore as I was I decided that I would get up at the same time and work out to Billy Blanks ab boot camp.  You know I hate all of these fitness people at the time because I am hurting and realizing that I just cannot keep up so I blast my music while they are on mute.  In my mind it eases the pain.  Well I hit snooze as usual but this time Tooters pushed her cold little toes into my leg (she sneaks into my bed regularly) and told me to get up it is time to exercise.  I could not let my daughter who looks up to me think I am some kind of wimp, so I forced me and my jello legs out of bed and got dressed.

 

Thank goodness Tooters decided to do the whole routine with me instead of staying on the couch.  She said that this is because she can do the floor exercises easier.  We got about ten minutes into it and I was starting to get hot so I pealed off my shirt and was down to my sports bra (no safety pins today) and sweat pants.  Man am I a site to behold in this get up.  I am glad that most of the world is still asleep at this time and not driving pass my partially open windows seeing my tummy bouncing around.  Tooters suddenly looked at me and said that she just cannot exercise this way and disappeared down the hall.  This was ok because this meant that the Wonder Pup would follow her and there would be no laughing when I start huffing and puffing like the Big Bad Wolf in Tigger sweat pants. 

 

After a couple of minutes I could hear her running up the hallway and hollering that she was coming.  She rounded the corner and I thought I was going to die.  Tooters had changed out of her nightclothes and put on bright pink sweat pants with her bikini top that looks like my sports bra.  She even put on her tennis shoes and announced that now she could properly finish her work out.  She really uses the word properly a lot.  Holy crap on a cracker (still my favorite saying) she kicked my ass on the floor exercises!!!  This is very sad that I was out done by a 6 year old.  There will be a funeral for my ego in the near future.

 

This put me to so much shame that I think tonight I will “forget” to set her alarm clock and just sneak out of bed to do my stuff alone.  My luck she will jump up and join me anyways.  So please say a prayer for me that I will be able to still move in the morning and that I do not strangle the backseat instructor on the couch. 

The Angels Among Us

Posted in angels, Barbie, Blogroll, children, christmas, cuteness, dog, Dolls, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, giving, giving generousity, growing up, healing, health, help, holiday, hope, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pictures, random, santa, seasons, snow, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 29, 2008 by Iron Mom

You know people say that there are angels walking among us and I finally have proof that they really are.  What I am about to tell you still makes me a little misty eyed thinking about it so if you are a sensitive soul get out your tissues. 

 

My parents have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt they are extraordinary, kind, selfless, beautiful people that I am so honored to know.  This year my parents decided that they were going to donate part of my dad’s bonus check to the food bank or pick a kid off of the angel tree to help out for Christmas.  After some serious discussion they came up with a better plan for the money.  They called me on my cell phone and asked me if my friend I hang out with all the time (she is really cute like a little doll, that is what I will call her Dolly) had received any presents or money from her ex in the mail for her daughter.  Her daughter is Tooter’s best friend and they are only a week a part with the exact same tastes in life.  They even have deadbeat dad’s that do not take their responsibilities serious.  I told my mom I was almost to her house I would just stop in. 

 

I got to her house and she pulled me into her bedroom and asked me again if Tooter’s Best Friend (TBF) had presents under the tree and if her dad had sent her anything.  I told her that he did not send anything and with money being really tight Dolly had presents under the tree but not a lot.  That sealed it we got Dolly on the phone and asked her what TBF needs or wants for Christmas.  She did not know what to say on the spot like that so we told her that we would give her a few minutes while my parents got ready to go to the store and they would call her back. 

 

The whole time my mom was telling me what her plan was I kept thinking in the back of my mind, “Do not cry, do not cry!!!”  I did not want to be tear stained in front of Tooters and have to try and come up with an excuse.  So we tossed around a few ideas and came up with getting her some snow boots since she is wearing tennis shoes in the ten tons of snow we have received and a snow shovel like Tooter’s since she has such a blast with it.  We called Dolly back and let her know they were off to the store and if she thought of anything else no matter what it is to call them back on the cell.  I stayed behind with Tooter’s and my brother who had come into town for a couple of days. 

 

After a little while my mom calls me from the store to ask if TBF has a bike.  I told her that she does but it is to small for her.  Well that settled it TBF was getting a brand new big girl bike for Christmas that will last her for the next couple of years at least.  My mom told me to get Tooters to another part of the house when they pulled up so that they could go out and cover the bike up with a blanket until they could get it over to Dolly’s house.  We decided that after Santa left the house that night (I had it arranged for him to come to the house and even bought some cheap dolls with a couple of outfits for the girls to open up with him.) and the girls are playing with the new toys Dolly and my dad would sneak out of the house and stash the bike and other stuff at her house for the next morning.  Bless my beautiful parents they even bought a gift certificate to Kohl’s for Dolly so she would have something from Santa to.

 

Well while my mom and I were taking a look at the presents and talking about them I noticed that the snow boots looked funny.  I picked them up and they were super light with no tread on the bottom.  Then I noticed the size it was 13-1, shoes are not sized that way just slippers.  I pointed this out to my mom so we left Tooter’s with my dad and brother so we could go look for real snow boots.  We checked three stores before going back to the store she originally got them at, they were told that was all they had.  Something told us that we needed to check again.  We hit the shoe isle and there on a low shelf in a box that had not even been opened was a pair of purple and black very cute snow boots in TBF’s size.  OMG they were meant to be hers so we scooped them up and exchanged the slippers for the boots. 

 

We talked to Dolly and TBF the next day, they said it was a wonderful Christmas.  TBF could not wait to show Tooter’s her presents from Santa and invited her to come and play the next day.  Dolly got a little sniffly on phone when I asked her if she got the little bag with the gift certificate in it.  She still cannot believe what my parents did for her.  I told her just enjoy it and buy something nice for herself with the gift card or save it and we could go shopping together.  I can still hear the gratitude in her voice and it makes me feeling wonderful knowing someone in my family did that for her.

 

This whole thing made my heart swell up with pride for having the parents that I do.  This whole act of kindness still makes me misty sitting her writing about it.  I just hope and pray that someday when I am more financially sound so that I can have an amazing opportunity to pay it forward.  Someday many many years from now I will sit down and tell Tooter’s the story of a Christmas made perfect just by giving and hope she will continue to have the generous nature she has now and help out some else out like her grandparents. 

 

I hope every one had an incredible Christmas like I did!!  Happy New Years everyone and remember to be safe.

angel

A Little Extra Hope For Us All

Posted in Blogroll, children, christmas, cleansing, cuteness, dog, emergency, emotional, family, friends, growing up, healing, health, help, holiday, hope, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, seasons, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2008 by Iron Mom

By definition hope means: to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment, to expect and desire, or to look forward to with confidence or expectation. 

 

This time of year it seems like we all have a little more hope than any other time.  We hope for peace, good holidays, safety for family, or many other things.  But there are some of us that hope for more.  We hope for the love of our families and a good person without expectations.  We hope for the wisdom to guide our children in hopes that they become the wonderful adults that we all know that they can be.  We hope for the patience and understanding for the times that the children are not at their best. 

 

Then there are those of us that hope for the more critical things in life.  We hope for enough money to be able to give our children something under the Christmas tree.  We hope for enough money to be able to keep the heat on and pay rent for another month.  We hope that with the economy collapsing around us we have a job for another month.  We hope to be able to buy food for another week. 

 

So with Christmas looming just around the corner maybe we should all take a moment and remember these people that are hoping everyday for something better to come along.  We need to give a moment to the troops and their families that are hoping daily for their safety.  We need to give a moment to the struggling parents, both single and married.  We need to give hope to the poor children without good homes.  We need to give hope to the people without a home.  We need to give hope to each other for every reason we can think of.  

 

I know that it is still a few days from Christmas but with the snow blowing outside my window I was in the mood to send out a Christmas message from Tooters, The Wonder Pup and myself now. 

 

Merry Christmas blogging world and here is some hope for all of us.

Seasons According To The Wonder Pup

Posted in Blogroll, children, clothes, costumes, cuteness, dog, emotional, fall, family, friends, fun, funny, funny picture, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, personality, pets, pictures, puggle, random, seasons, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 5, 2008 by Iron Mom

OMG winter is almost here if it isn’t already.  I went to bed last night and it was freezing cold with a few snow flurries out my window.  It was actually a beautiful site.  I even left the blinds pulled up a little bit in my bedroom so I could watch until I fell asleep which means summer is definitely gone for good. 

 

But this is not how seasons are determined in my house; a little Wonder Pup decides them.  Here is how it goes.  It starts getting colder in the morning so that means that I jump up out of bed and turn on the heater before the alarm clock rings for the third time.  Tooters and I love the snooze button.  While it is warming up Tooters, the Wonder Pup, and myself huddle under the covers waking up.  After this is done I have to force the dog out of the bed just to go outside to potty.  This is the first indication the seasons are turning because normally she will race me to the door.  My next indication is after she comes in to eat breakfast while Tooters and I get ready for the day, she hides in her crate under her blanky.  Now I have to bribe her to come out so I can put her outside while I am at work. 

 

Don’t worry it is not like I send her out in the elements to freeze.  She has another large dog crate in the backyard covered with an old piece of heavy carpet to keep the wind out and some fleece piled up inside to keep her warm.  Besides when it gets to cold I leave her inside in her bed until it warms up during the day sometimes she prefers to stay there all day.  I know this because for such a little dog she has tons of muscles.  She will dig her little feet in and refuse to move no matter how much I pull on her. 

 

Well last night a storm moved into the area, it is still kind of cold and cloudy today.  I ran home on my lunch break to let her out for a potty break and she refused yet again to go outside when I offered it.  So I finally broke down and brought out one of her shirts.  Holy crap on a cracker she was so excited you would have thought I was offering up a steak lol. 

 

Now don’t laugh at me.  Sure she is spoiled but she only has clothes for the cold seasons, I felt sorry for her sitting around and shivering all the time.  This is what I mean by the seasons according to my dog.  She is now wearing her lightweight fall shirt.  As it gets colder the heavier her sweaters get.  Please don’t judge, but she even has a going out walking/visiting fancy sweater.  Does this mean I am finally morphing into that crazy lady on the corner that treats the pets like kids?  I know winter is fully here when she starts wearing her lightweight shirt to bed at night. 

 

So now you know according to the Wonder Pup it is officially late fall in southern Utah.  I even took a picture of her while I was home today for lunch to show you how cute she really is in her shirt.  The Wonder Pup always struts around after I dress her to show everyone how adorable she is all dressed up.  Boy did I get the blue light special on personality with this one, you can even see it in her face.

Aren't I pretty?

Aren't I pretty?

 

 

 

Politically Correct or Incorrect?

Posted in Blogroll, election, fun, funny, funny picture, humor, life, mccain, obama, personal, personality, politics, president, random, thoughts, vote with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 4, 2008 by Iron Mom
UGH Another Debate?!?!

UGH Another Debate?!?!

 

Remember to get out and vote!!!

I thought in honor of this historic day I would post my favorite picture of our hopefuls.