Archive for quit smoking

The 2009 Mommy List

Posted in anger, Blogroll, boss, children, clothes, cuteness, dog, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, funny things kids do, giving, giving generousity, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, holiday, hope, humor, job, KIDS, life, mom, new years, parenting, personal, personality, pets, pictures, quit smoking, random, resolutions, seasons, shopping, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, winter, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2009 by Iron Mom

As a mother I am accustomed to giving up things for Tooters on a daily basis.  Don’t get me wrong I am not complaining in the least, but I have recently sat down and really looked at what needs I have that are just not being met.  Which is totally my fault and I actually love the joy it brings me to give up something so that I can put a smile on Tooters face.  Even if me and my sanity suffer in the long run.

 

This brought me to thinking about my New Year’s resolutions.  Does anyone ever really fulfill their resolutions or just talk about them for 6 months before only to be forgotten with in weeks of the New Year?  So instead of making some ridiculous resolution list that I am going to bag in a few weeks then spend my time feeling guilty about.  I decided to make a realistic mommy list of things that I am going to do for myself throughout the year that I neglect regularly.  After reviewing my list I think all mom’s both married and single should make one. Here are the ten top things I am going to do for myself in 2009.

 

1.     Go bra shopping before I am down to the only one that I own that is held together by safety pins.

 

 Yes sadly to say I am sitting here in a bra that I am praying will make it another couple of weeks and no one thinks the funny lump under my shirt is a nipple piercing.  I already have purple and black hair and tattoo’s, I don’t need people looking at me like I am a complete freak. (Personally I hate to shop for a new bra it is a waste of precious time that I could spend on other activities.)

 

2.     Take an extra few minutes in the morning to actually enjoy a hot shower, and maybe even use the different settings on the showerhead.  Shut up you perverts not for that!!

 

I totally race through my showers and even have it down to getting in and out before a full song can play on my stereo.

 

3.     Let the dishes pile up in the sink for a night so that I can enjoy a hot cup of tea and read a grown up book.  Again perverts keep it in check, I am talking about my murder mystery books.

 

As much as I love to read Dr. Suess or Fancy Nancy to Tooters it would be nice to get back to reading the types of book I did before she was born.  At least more than one or two pages at a time, which is what I do now before Tooters demands my attention.

 

4.     Find time to exercise in peace without Tooters trying to imitate me and the Wonder Pup thinking it is playtime. 

 

Tooters loves it when I pull out my exercise DVD’s, because after giving it a 5 minute effort to keep up she just ends up laughing at me and asking why I am not doing it like the ladies on the DVD.  The Wonder Pup thinks she is helping every time I do the floor exercises by jumping on my stomach that is already sore. 

 

5.     Buy myself a new pair of jeans that actually fits so that I don’t look like some saggy ass stoner from behind. 

 

In the last year I have lost a little over 50 pounds and now none of my clothes fit properly.  They either are falling off of my body or the last 2 pairs that do some what fit are starting to fray.  I am a little afraid every time I bend down that my thighs or ass are going to come flying out.  Heck I might as well add a new shirt while I am at it.  I look like Omar the tent maker is my stylist.

 

6.     Buy new underwear that fit and are not full of holes. 

 

Again since the weight-loss I have not invested in new underwear, another waste of time for me.  However now I have the biggest granny panties you have ever seen and I need suspenders just to keep them up.  Maybe I could just hook them to my safety pins on my bra and start a new trend.  Not to mention that most have holes in them and I have to be careful where I grip them to pull them up.

 

7.     Grocery shop in peace.

 

All you mothers out there know what I am talking about so I will not elaborate on this one.

 

8.     Go to bed early. 

 

Instead of trying to pick up toys, straighten the house, or squeeze in one more load of laundry just bag it all and go to bed right after Tooter’s is asleep.  I am an insomniac but sometimes it would be nice to see what it is like to be able to be in bed for more than 5 or 6 hours in a single night even if I end up watch late night T.V.

 

9.     Ban Miley Cyrus from my car stereo.

 

Tooters and I love good loud music (is there any other kind) when we are in the car, but when I am on main street and she has her window down I tend to slump down in my seat and if I am wearing a hat pull it a little lower.  People tend to notice me before seeing my 6 year old in the back seat and I end up looking like an old freak.  You know sometimes I just need a good old fashion cuss fill grown up song to rock out to.

 

10. Quit smoking for good this time.

 

Oh hell I had to have at least one hard one in there.  I know I quit a few months ago but the holidays are so hard for me I could not take it and started up in the last month.  So I broke out the anti-strangle everyone patches and slapped one on.  I even let Tooters break my last two smokes and throw them away. 

 

So there you go there is my list.  I know this post was kind of long for me and I apologize but I just had to share.  I would love for some of you mommies out there to share what would be on your mommy list.  Happy New Year’s everybody I hope it is a good one!!!

Trying to look happy for a Monday!!

Trying to look happy for a Monday!!

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Little Kid in a Big Body

Posted in Blogroll, children, cleansing, costumes, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, growing up, halloween, healing, health, help, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, quit smoking, random, sick, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2008 by Iron Mom

I know this is highly unusual that I am posting twice in one day but I am so excited Tooters and I received our costumes in the mail today.  Halloween falls on a Friday and since the state of Utah has decide we all need to work 4 10 hour shifts I am off to help at the school with their party.  You know I love having a little one in the house because it gives me the excuse to be a big kid. 

 

So, this year Tooters and I have decided to come up with a theme for our costumes.  Yes this means I am dressing up too.  We found a wonderful website that has great costumes that do not cost an arm and a leg. 

 

Tooters is going to be a cute spider witch, I will post a picture of both costumes at the bottom, and I will be a spider pixie. (The pictures are the costumes not us in them that will be later)  Now Tooters is going to look adorable as usual I just need to figure out what to do with her hair and make up.  Then I am going to squeeze my big old self into the pixie costume and pray I do not bust any seems or scare anyone away.  Then I need to decide how to do my make up.  My hair is simple it is short enough to spike, it is black and has purple streaks in it. 

 

Here is my other problem.  My friend has decided that we need to split a baby-sitter and go out to a costume party at one of the local bars that has a very good local band playing.  This is where it gets hard for me, I do not go out and the last time I was at a bar was a year ago.  I always feel awkward and out of place with all of the couples around me.  Plus with my diets and cleansing I do not drink or smoke. 

 

My friend assures me that it will be fine and we can lean on each other for security.  She is just like me, never goes out to the bars and has a hard time in crowds.  She is my friend that is single, divorced, with a daughter at home.  Either we will have a great time and party it up on our very rare night out as adults or we will end up doing what we did the other night.  We went to the movies and instead of going out afterwards we went back to her house for herbal tea and turned in early.  OMG I am turning into an old lady AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

 

So wish me luck on Halloween.  Between the school party, trick-or-treating with the kids, and then the adult party afterwards I am going to be beat on Saturday.  I do have to say I am kind of looking forward to it.  Maybe I am growing and finally realizing it is ok to have a night out like that with out feeling guilty.  After all I am human and single after all.  I will definitely let ya’ll know how it went.  I am sure I will have a couple of new stories for the blog lol.   

 

 

Tooters' spider witch dress with webby wings

Tooters

My spider pixie wings are webs like Tooter's sleeves

My spider pixie wings are webs like Tooter

P.S. This has relit the fire under my butt to re-start my cleanse and stick to it. Even if it kills me lol. 

 

 

Just A Little Help From A Wonderful Friend

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, cleansing, emotional, family, friends, frustration, funny, growing up, healing, health, help, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, quit smoking, random, sick, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2008 by Iron Mom

I have to send out a huge hug and a very big thanks to one of my good friends today.  Sunday I was attacked by the stomach flu.  Every time I moved or stood up it felt like someone had stabbed me in the tummy and off to the porcelain goddess I would run.   Thankfully Tooters’ is a wonderful kid and she spent most of the day bringing me water and taking my temperature.  For some reason this gives her great pleasure when I am sick to stick that thermometer into my arm pit every chance she gets.  Hey if it keeps her happy then bring it on little one lol.  She also is very good about watching Disney (thank god for Zack and Cody) and coloring.  I almost cried when she made me a get well card all by herself.  She is in first grade so of course the spelling was crude but I will treasure it all the same. 

 

Anyways Sunday night in between trips to the bathroom and quick nap on the bathroom floor, for some reason this always seems to make me feel a little better, I called my friend to let her know that the dinner we have been trying to plan has to be put on hold until I feel better.   Then she said some very beautiful words to me,  “Since you are staying home from work why don’t you let me bring Tooters’ home for you?  That way you do not have to get up and get dressed.”

 

OMG if I could have jumped through the phone and kissed her at that moment I would have in a heart beat.  You know sometimes in life there is nothing better than good friends like that.  Plus she is a single mom and has gone through a lot of the same things that I have so she understands me and my crazy side. 

 

On a side note and I have probably said this in other posts but I think I will mention it again.  It is times like this that I get very pissed off and frustrated with the Donor.  Here I am knocking on deaths door but I am still up feeding Tooters and doing all of the mommy stuff that I do everyday instead of trying to rest and get rid of this flu.  I just imagine him being sick and lying on his mom’s couch with her waiting on him hand and foot, if not his mom then whatever girlfriend he has tricked into thinking that he is a good man.  I am not wishing to be married or back with the Donor but sometimes I do wish I had that second person in the house to help so I do not have to rely on friends and family so much.

 

So to my friend thanks and god bless you.  You are a bright shiny example of a truly

thoughtful friend and someday I hope I can return the favor. 

 

 

P.S. I gave up my Master Cleanse after a day and a half when me and my friend made plans to have lasagna rolls for dinner.  But I think I will restart it today if my tummy will not stage a mutiny and reject anything that I attempt to swallow.  I will update you on my progress if I can even get started today.  You would think this would be a good time, my tummy surely shrank from not really eating a lot and I do not really want any food right now.  Who knows what will happen so wish me luck.  Oh one last thing, it has been two weeks and I still have not smoked and I have gone one week without my anti-strangle the boss patches.

Icky Boys and Their Icky Noises

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, construction, emotional, family, frustration, funny, growing up, healing, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, pets, quit smoking, random, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 8, 2008 by Iron Mom

I am putting a question out there and hopefully I get some kind of an answer.  What the hell is up with you men and your noises???  Here I sit in my office and there are guys putting in a new duct system in the ceiling and OMG it sounds like either a porn studio has moved in or someone really needs a laxative!!!!

 

I am on day 2 of not smoking and thankfully I have not ripped anyone’s head off yet, but let me tell you I am getting closer.  I started off my day coming in an hour early so that I can let the workers into my office.  But wouldn’t you know it they were over an hour late! In my mind there goes head number one for the day. 

 

Then they come in and first thing they do is turn on the air conditioner so that they are comfortable working all day.  It is a whopping 46 degrees outside, turn the freaking a/c off!!!!  The whole time I am sitting at my desk wrapped up in Tooters pink princess fleece blanket.  I look like a pink Eskimo that ran away from Disneyland, not the look I was really going for today.   There goes head number two.

 

They finally get to work and the banging, the drills, and God only knows what other tools they are using to make all that noise is enough to make you go deaf.  Every time they move around in the ceiling I inhale a little more dust and fiberglass insulation, at this point smoking sounds safer to me.  There goes head number three.

 

To top it all off the two guys that are working, going up and down the ladder are making noises that I just should not be hearing unless I am married to it.  I do not even date so noises like this should stay at their home and not invade my peaceful office.  Let me enlighten you.  First there was the grunting.  I thought maybe one of them got stuck so I stood at the bottom of the ladder and called up to see if they were ok.  Of course the one grunting is just fine and just laughed at me.  Head number four.  Tomorrow I am bringing him a Dulcolax and leaving it on top of the ladder as a hint. 

 

About an hour later both are working on the same duct and all I hear is this ear piercing whistling, if he was whistling a tune only the dogs knew what it was.  Then the porn noises start.  “Ugh ugh ugh, oh yea right there now push it push it.  OMG right there stop don’t move, oh yea!”  Now if you were sitting in my seat listening to these kinds of things your mind would wander too.  Admit it, it sounds dirty huh?  I am so sick of hearing this I could scream and for that there goes heads five and six. 

 

To top it all off everyone in the office, except for me, has laptops and have chosen to work from home.  Then I find out that the two-day job has just turned into 2 weeks.  God help me through this without to much carnage.  How am I to stay sane and calm listening to this?  So this brings me back to my original question, must men make such nasty noises when they work?  Is it a macho thing, or does it really help tighten that screw just a little bit more?  Heck just for the fun of it there goes head number seven, it’s a lucky number, I just do not know for who right now.

One More Bad Habit Up In Smoke

Posted in anger, Blogroll, children, emotional, family, frustration, funny, growing up, healing, humor, KIDS, life, parenting, personal, random, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2008 by Iron Mom

In my house every once in a while I wonder who is really in control, Tooters or me.  I tried to quit smoking back in January, which obviously did not work out for me so I have been thinking in the last week that I need to try it again.  During the day I do pretty well one maybe two until bedtime comes.  This has been my nighttime routine for 13 years now, lock up the house, bathroom, smoke and jump into bed.  If it is a bad night then I will get up and smoke then go back to bed.  Since I am an insomniac this is ok, my body is used to very little sleep. 

 

I keep telling myself that at the end of this pack I will quit.  Well last night that choice was taken away from me.  I do not ever smoke in front or around Tooters so after she was in bed asleep I went out the side door for my nighttime smoke.  While I was sitting there thinking that this tastes gross tonight, I heard the most pitiful crying coming from inside.  Quickly I put out my smoke and ran into the house hoping Tooters was not vomiting again.  She had the stomach flu last night and I don’t know that I could take another night of changing bed sheets from projectile vomiting and wondering what the hell she ate to make it day-glo orange. 

 

When I was racing through the door I almost knocked her down because she was standing in the middle of the floor in front of the door crying.  I swept her up and took her to the rocking chair and asked her what was wrong.  It took a few minutes but she finally calmed down enough to tell me what was making her cry.

 

“You’re going to die and leave me!!!!!” and with that the tears started to flow again. 

 

I just looked at her trying to figure out what she was talking about and I asked her to repeat that and explain it to me.  After a few more minutes of heart wrenching sobs she explained to me that my lungs were turning black and they are going to shrivel up like raisins.  She also told me no one can breathe with raisins in their chest so I had to quit smoking right now. 

 

That clinched it for me.  I put her back in bed found my old box of patches, put one on, and threw out the last couple of cigarettes that I had.  So here I sit this morning a very tense bundle of nerves and very irritable.  My boss sat here this morning talking to me and for some reason it was like listening to nails on a chalkboard, I mean I could just picture myself knocking him out of his chair.  This is bad because usually I am so easy going.  I was going to save my patches for just at night but I am thinking now I might need to pick up some more for daytime.  I would hate for the headlines tomorrow to read, “Employee Decapitates Boss For Cigarette”

 

So wish me luck everyone on quitting.  I also want to apologize to my friends and family in advance for any comments or fits that might occur in the next few days.  I promise to keep the claws and fangs under control as much as possible.