Archive for random

Does Your Costume Speak To You?

Posted in children, clothes, costumes, cuteness, emotional, entertainment, fall, family, fun, funny, ghosts, halloween, holiday, horror, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, random, single mom, thoughts with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2009 by Iron Mom

Well it is that time of year again when we all dress up for Halloween, scare ourselves silly with movies, take the kids trick-or-treating in cold weather and indulge in a little to much candy for 2 weeks afterwards.  This also means I get to post another Halloween list. 

Keep in mind this is just for fun and my warped perspective on things.  This year I was thinking about costumes, Tooters and I love to dress up, and I realized that personality and mood has a lot to do with what you choose to wear.  I am talking more about the adults than the kids.  They tend to follow the trend more than the adults.  Let’s break it down! 

Princess – Women that dress up like a fairytale princesses love to be pampered and wants everyone to do her bidding most of the time.  She is ultra girly with a liking for sparkly long dresses made out of taffeta.  She also sees herself as a little better than the common woman and truly believes that the knight in shiny armor exists while she walks around with her head in the clouds.

Vampire – Anyone that chooses this has a dark side that they may or may not keep hidden.  They have a lust for blood, danger power and sex.  They have a controlling side that can erupt at anytime especially at night.  The women are extremely tough of both mind and body with a super sexy side.  Cunning and wit are always present whether the common man realizes it or not and they are excellent predators.

Superhero – Whether it is the side kick or the woman of the hour this is a woman with great powers of her own.  She is controlling in a good way, fights for the underdog, protects the weak and looks great doing it.  There is nothing this woman cannot do, or at least thinks so.  She has a super strength that goes with a super body even if it is a little hidden under a layer of ice cream and chocolate.  She juggles a million things at once and makes it look easy.

Witch – There is way more than meets the eye with this woman.  She is not only crafty and creative but baffling and hard to figure out.  Is she the good witch or the bad witch?  What evil/good is lurking underneath it all?  The limits to her powers are endless.  You better watch out she will cast a spell over men that keep them coming back for more without realizing why.  There is definitely mystery there and she will only let you see what she wants you to.

Animal – This is a pretty simple one.  Any woman that dresses up like an animal is showing what is hidden behind the sugar and spice she displays everyday.  She can be playful, mean, sneaky or cuddly.  She can be a tiger in or out of bed when she is alone with you.  She can also be the nurturing type that would rather wrap herself around you for protection, warmth and love.  So really this one cannot be broken down as well as the other ones.

 Clown – Oh there is so much more than meets the eye on this one, I actually see two different ones here.  Women that are funny make the greatest clowns of course and tend to love kids.  They dress up to please the little ones and make them laugh.  But on the other hand they are also hiding. Hiding a truck load of issues behind the make-up, funny wigs and goofy huge clothes.  Some of these women are a little sad on the inside but don’t want others to see it, they like to keep a happy face instead.  They deflect and avoid what is going on in their heads by being goofy on the outside.  They say tears of a clown for a reason.  

 Ultra sexy/slutty anything – This is not a loose woman so don’t let the clothes tell the story, at least for most of them.  No this woman is confidant and secure in her own skin.  This is the one night of the year it is ok to flaunt every single inch of what she was blessed with or worked for.  In every day life this might the mom down the street in sweats or the woman in the cubicle next to you that wears a boring power suit on most days.  She wants to be noticed everyday and might not know how to achieve that, so this is her way to cut loose and scream look at me I’m hot!!!!!

 So there you have it my Halloween post for the year.  I could have gone on and on but did not want to bore anyone.  Plus I have to leave something for next year lol.  Happy Halloween everyone have fun and be safe!!!!!!!  Lots of love from Tooters, Sunnymom and the Wonder Pup.

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The Gift That Won’t Quit Giving

Posted in anger, bills, blogging, Blogroll, cuteness, deadbeat dads, emotional, exhusbands, fall, family, frustration, funny picture, goals, growing up, healing, health, help, hope, horror, humor, iritation, kicking ass, KIDS, life, living alone, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pictures, random, resolutions, sick, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 20, 2009 by Iron Mom

As everyone is well aware of I am a divorced single working mom trying to survive paycheck to paycheck and not lose my mind in the mean time.  Well I had something happen last week that almost pushed me over the edge.  I once again received another “gift” from my ex-husband that I fondly refer to as the Donor.  That is basically all he is.  I thank him all the time for giving me the gift of Tooters but that is the only thing that I want to keep from him. 

 

I know I have ranted about it before but I just do not understand how someone can help create this beautiful and hilariously lively little girl then walk away without looking back.  Unless, his mom forces him to have contact or he is trying to look good for his new woman in his life.  But on the other hand I am selfish and get her all to myself to enjoy her everyday antics, frustrations, and love.  He has had no contact with her for over a year now and not seen her face to face in three.  As for child support, don’t even get me started on that one.

 

Anyways I was checking my email like I always do and I saw that I had an email from my old satellite company, Dish Network.  I have been getting emails from them since I had service with them way back when I was married.  I usually just delete it since I just figured they were advertisements trying to get my business again.  This time was different the subject line read, “View your estatement now!” 

 

What the hell?!?!?! What statement?? I have lived in Utah for over five years since leaving him and he was suppose to take my name off of all the bills.   So of course I called the company and asked how they could bill me for service I have not had in that long.  Here is what I got told,

 

“Well Mrs. Donor this is an outstanding bill for pay-per-view porn movies from 3 years ago.  You will need to pay this immediately or else we will be forced to send it to collections and it will go on your credit report.”

 

Now here is the thing, I have been in my house for over 4 years with cable because I cannot attach a satellite to the house per my landlord.  I, calmly as I could, explained this to them and even gave them the number to my cable to company if they wanted to verify that I have not even lived in the state of New Mexico since before the bill was accrued.  I probably used a few words that I shouldn’t have, but I was so beyond pissed I could not help it.  I think I could actually hear the first young lady on the phone blush a little bit.  To you young lady I am really sorry. 

 

Of course they declined and after I talked to several “supervisors” I got told they will do what they can to get my name off of the bill and send it to the Donor but they could not make any promises.  That actually asked me for his address.  I was at a loss for words by this point and told them just take the name off of the account and I do not watch smutt like that then hung up the phone before screaming and crying some more. 

 

The crying part actually pissed me off some more.  I know it is human to cry but I hate to personally because it feels like I am being weak.  Then I get even more pissed off at the Donor because he made me feel this way.  I usually let my pity party go on for a little while, pick myself back up, brush my tears away and regain my steel spine so I can continue on with my life.  I refuse to allow him to have that much power over me.  He had that power when we were married but not anymore!!!

 

So I have decided that this boil on the butt of humanity is like a bad gift that will not quit giving.  I cannot even call the ass because I do not know where he is at right now.  Really I don’t think he wants me to call him anyways because I have a lot of choice words for him that he probably does not want to hear. 

 

I actually feel better getting the words out and ranting a little bit, so now I am going to go home take out my anger on some weeds that need to be pulled then curl up with Tooters and watch some television.  If anyone out there runs into my ex please let him know that I am waiting for him with a ton of bills worth several thousands of dollar and a foot for his ass. 

 

 

My ass kicking shoes

My ass kicking shoes

Remember It Is My Way

Posted in anger, Blogroll, emotional, entertainment, frustration, fun, healing, help, humor, iritation, life, limp bizkit, music, personal, personality, random, single mom, thoughts, Uncategorized, video with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on April 9, 2009 by Iron Mom

For some reason the last week or so I have been in a crabby mood. It seems a lot of stupid little things irritate me and I don’t know why. Maybe I am PMS’ing or I am having a chocolate deficiency, who knows. Anyways when I get into a funk like this I love to listen to some good old fashion fast angry music. So right now I am really on a Limp Bizkit kick, I love me some Fred Durst!!! I was listening/blasting my CD in my car while running errands the other day and my favorite song by them came on, “My Way”. It just says everything that I want to scream to the world and especially to certain people. I am going to attempt to post it below and be patient the intro takes a few seconds and then the song starts. Really listen to the words and tell me if that does not apply to people you know at some point in time. Right now it is my personal anthem and cannot get enough of it. I am sure when I get out of this mood I will be back to my funky music, so enjoy.

There’s A Wad Of Gum On My Wall?!?!

Posted in anger, Barbie, Blogroll, children, cleansing, cute kid questions, cuteness, dog, Dolls, emergency, emotional, fall, family, frustration, fun, funny, funny picture, funny things kids do, growing up, healing, help, horror, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, puggle, random, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 6, 2008 by Iron Mom

I am going to list five things that no mother ever wants to hear from their child.  Then after that I will let you know which one I heard the other night.  But keep in mind I have heard all of these at one time or another.

 

1.     If you feed a whole can of beef stew to the dog will she explode?

2.     What would happen if you tie Barbie to the ceiling fan and turn it on high?

3.     Do we have a stepladder I cannot reach the gum on the wall?

4.     How many flushes does it take to flush Ken?

5.     How permanent are my markers?

 

I really have heard these things from Tooters, so can you guess which one I got hit with the other night?  If you guessed number 3 then you are correct.  Yes Tooters managed to get her gum she was chewing stuck to the wall near the ceiling.

 

The other night I was cleaning on the house a little bit while dinner was cooking when I caught Tooters with her hand in the candy bucket from Halloween.  I told her to get out of it so she did not spoil her dinner.  Tooters said ok and went to the playroom to play while she waited to eat.  I went into the laundry room at that point and started to hang up the wet shirts and put everything else in the dryer. 

 

Everything was right with the universe for a moment.  Tooters was playing with the dog and I was happy with the thought I would not have to go searching for clean socks in the morning.  After about ten minutes she was still giggling like mad when all of a sudden it got very very quiet.  This always scares me because I know she is up to something.  Then the dog went running out of the room when the thumping started.  All I can do is hang my head and hope that it is not as bad as it sounds.  Before I could finish what I was doing I heard the little innocent voice from the playroom.  She sounded very calm and collected like there was nothing strange about asking for a stepladder.  Here is how it really went:

 

T – “Mom do we have a stepladder?”

 

M – “Why do you need a ladder?”

 

T – “Oh just cause.  I need to reach something.”

 

M – “OMG what can you not reach, your toys are already on the floor?”

 

T – “I need the stepladder to get the gum off the wall.”

 

M – “Holy crap on a cracker!  What the hell is the gum doing on the wall?”

 

T – “Moommmmm I was playing with the dog and it got stuck duh.”

 

M – “Why do you even have gum I said no snacks before dinner!”

 

T – “It’s just gum you chew it you don’t swallow it so how can it ruin my dinner.”

With that I gave up the arguing between rooms, finished what I was doing and went to assess the damage.  I walked into the room and there stuck on the wall pretty far up was a wad of chewed up gum with a bubble in it and Tooters under it jumping up and down trying to reach it before I got into the room.  It looked like an alien laid a neon pink egg sack on my wall.  I whipped around and told Tooters she better start explaining and this is what I got.

 

“I was practicing how to blow bubbles and the Wonder Pup wanted to play, so I started tossing it up to see if she would catch it.  She was doing good, she even caught it once.  I blew another bubble to throw some more but it got stuck.” 

 

Ok here I am in the playroom with Tooters looking at me and waiting for me to retrieve her toy.  All I can think of is she put the gum in her mouth after the Wonder Pup touched it with her mouth and is it going to leave a pink circle on my wall. 

 

These are days that that explain the gray hairs I keep finding on my head.  Someday I will post the stories that go with the list at the top but for now I will let you picture the innocent child and the wad of gum in the playroom. 

Missing: One Brain Cell Possibly More

Posted in anger, Blogroll, boss, children, cleansing, co-workers, emergency, emotional, family, friends, frustration, fun, funny, healing, health, help, horror, humor, life, personal, personality, random, sick, thoughts, work with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 28, 2008 by Iron Mom

I usually try to leave work stuff out of my blog but my boss did something yesterday that I just have to talk about.  Now I know he tries really hard but there is something about this guy that is way off.  Some days are worse than others.  His heart is in the right place I just don’t know that it is communicating with his brain. 

 

I was sitting at my desk hard at work as usual **wink wink ** when my boss and one of the other guys in the office walked in to get something out of the supply closet across from me.  Well they were standing in the doorway talking about general work stuff when my boss trying to make a point stomped his foot on the ground a couple of times.  Just as he did this the other guys cell phone made a doorbell noise, this just could not have been better timing.  The boss looked up shocked and I swear to God he asked me if he made that sound when he was stomping the ground. 

 

I don’t know what came over me but at that moment I just could not help myself, I very seriously looked at the boss and asked, “What noise?? I did not hear anything.”

 

He just looked from me then to the other guy looking very confused.  I asked the other guy if he heard anything thing then I asked the boss if he was feeling ok.  What happened next was classic.  He started stomping his foot on the ground like a horse saying watch I will make it do it again.  How I kept a straight face I will never know.  The other guy was turning purple because he was working so hard to keep from laughing.  I thought this guy was going to blow an O-ring or something. 

 

So of course I asked the boss if he was sure he was ok and did he remember to take his medicine that morning.  All he can do is keep stomping and saying just a second I swear I did it.  He finally gave up and mumbled something under his breath and shuffled back to his office.  As soon as I was in the clear I raced up the hallway to the closest exit so I could go outside and laugh.  I still have not told him that it was the cell phone and not his foot!

 

You know this is not the first time he has done something this absurd.  I wonder if he has lost a few marbles here and there.  Anyways it doesn’t matter to me what is wrong with him as long as he continues to brighten my day like that sometimes. 

Are You A Freddy or A Jason???

Posted in Blogroll, children, cleansing, costumes, emergency, emotional, family, fire, freddy krueger, friends, frustration, fun, funny, growing up, halloween, healing, health, help, horror, humor, jason vorhees, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, personality, pets, random, scary movie, sick, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 24, 2008 by Iron Mom

In my opinion in life there are two kinds of people in the world.  You have your Jason people and your Freddy people.  What this means is which horror franchise do you prefer?  Are you the type of person that prefers the Freddy Kruger movies or do you like the Friday the 13th movies?  I believe this is directly related to your personality.  Just keep reading and see what I mean.

Freddy Kruger is gruesome to look at, but you just cannot turn away you have to keep looking at the overall look fascinated by the effect.  This means you are curious and not afraid of a little gore so you are a strong soul.  Freddy starts out with the basic slash of the young pretty girl but he evolves into much more.  His killing style becomes creative even jocular as the later movies come out.  This means that you are artistic and not afraid to take risks in life and you like to be thought provoking.  Freddy stalks his prey and toys with them if he does not get them the first time.  You are patient and if you do not mind trying over and over again to get what you want.  This also means that you are playful and do not mind a side trip now and again.

Jason actually was not in the first movie it was really his mother is concealed behind a mask.  This keeps you guessing and wondering what is behind it.  This means that you do not take people at face value you look beyond that and try to see what they are hiding.  He stalks his victims and seems to mostly stick to his determined gait.  This means you are focused you know where you are going even if it takes you a while.  His killing style is to slash and stab.  This means that you are direct and you cut to the chase so to speak and get it over with quickly.

Now for the weapons of choice.  Freddy has his signature glove with the knives.  However he also invades your dreams and kills from there.  This means that you are a deep thinker and a bit of a dreamer.  You like to use your hands but only for fun and art not for the dirty work.  This does not mean you are lazy you just have a different way of looking at the world.

Jason prefers the machete.  He stalks his prey and then slashes and stabs.  This means you have a direct purpose for what you do and how you do things.  He also sticks to the woods.  This means that you are not afraid of the outdoors or getting dirty. 

So which type of person are you?  Are you a Freddy or a Jason?  Personally I am a Freddy all the way.  I even have a collector’s edition box set of all the movies on VHS still in the wrapper that has never been watched.  I know what a nerd, but leave me alone that is my man.  As you can guess I am a little warped.  So leave a comment at the bottom and let me know what you are.  Happy Halloween.

 

 

 

Super Mom To The Rescue

Posted in anger, Barbie, Blogroll, children, cleansing, Dolls, emergency, emotional, family, fire, friends, frustration, fun, funny, growing up, healing, health, help, humor, KIDS, life, mom, parenting, personal, pets, quit smoking, random, thoughts, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 22, 2008 by Iron Mom

Wow we had an exciting night here in my part of the world.  Everything was going fine last night, Tooters was in bed sleeping and I was having some mommy time watching Biggest Loser while I exercised.  You know for some reason when I watch that show I always have the extra huge urge to amp up my exercises, I just don’t know why lol.  At the end of the episode I sat my sweaty self down to cool off and enjoy another bottle of Master Cleanse, yummy its tonsil burning good ;-p.

 

Just as I was cooling off and thinking of the warm new flannel sheets I had just put on my bed the silence was shattered by a gazillion sirens.  OMG it sounded like the world was coming to an end they just would not stop.  Just when I thought I could go to bed another round would race up the road.  Curiosity finally got the best of me and I just had to go and take a look.  So across the street I went in my tinker bell pajama pants, purple fuzzy slippers, and a cozy fluffy green bathrobe.  Boy if I was going to attract a man this was not the night.

 

I finally found out through my contacts working the area it was a fire in the creek bottom and the sheriff’s officer told me to go pack stuff I want to take with me incase I needed to evacuate at a moments notice.  I mean the fire was blazing and the wind was gusting up to 50 mph right towards my house.  The fire was only about a block away.  I got back to the house and did what I had to do then sat down to wait. 

 

But wouldn’t you know it the sirens would not stop.  Now they were racing up and down the road like they were drag racing.  Of course this woke up Tooters.  She is not freaked out by emergency stuff because my mom works for the Sheriff’s office and I work for emergency fire and the forest fires.  Once she caught site of the fire up the road that did worry her a little bit.  So I called my mom and told her to go for a ride with me because there was a several hundred-acre fire going on on the other side of town.  I thought if I could show Tooters how far I had to drive to get to the fire it would make her feel better.  Plus I figured the car ride would either calm Tooters down to be away from the fire by our house or put her back to sleep.   

 

Well I ended up taking her back to my mom’s house for the night because I got called into work and I had to race over to a friend’s house to help her pack because she might be evacuated too. 

 

Just as I was dropping Tooters and my mom off Tooters got very serious and made me promise to do something for her.  All she wanted me to do was go back to my house for a couple of things for her.  She wanted her new Barbie with the dogs, the Barbie her uncle bought for her, and her favorite doll she has been carrying around since Christmas.  The darn thing is named Sarabell Lavinia Chandelier —–.  What a mouth full for a six year old. 

 

I asked her if she was worried about the Wonder Pup and she said, “You are a good mommy you would not let anything bad happen to her, I trust you will get her out too!”

 

I thought it was so cute that she picked those items that had been bought for her by very special people to save first.

 

 My mom snuck into another room from Tooters and called me this morning at dispatch to let me know that Tooters talked about those things all night in her sleep.  What she did not know is when I ran to the house to get her school clothes for today I snuck those items into her bag just so Tooters knows I really do listen to her.   Then my cell phone rang and it was Tooters telling me how much she loved me because I saved her babies.  Needless to say today I am on cloud nine knowing that my daughter thinks I am the hero of the Barbie’s and babies.  Just think I don’t even need to fly I just needed my Kia with the spare tire on it instead of a cape lol.