Not So Lost In The Crowd
A couple of weekends ago The Wanderer took Tooters and myself to a huge corn festival in Colorado. Who knew there was such a thing? We stopped along the way and picked up my brother who was coming from Denver for a visit. My brother’s goal in life when he visits is to pick on Tooters and me. I swear he is never going to mature! Since he likes to bug us so much I think that is what I will call him, Bug.
Anyways we got there and OMG I could not believe how many people were there! Then I saw the sign on the way in with the entry prices, $22 just for me to get in!!! What the hell are they selling golden plated corn?? Then I realized what the price actually was for, there was a Travis Tritt concert that night and all you can eat free roasted corn mmmmm. So I guess the price was worth it after all.
So naturally the first thing we do is find the corn stand. After we got 2 ears each and had them smother it in real butter we decided to wander around and look at the booths. I love looking at the crafts and odd stuff people try to sell at events like this. Of course after each row we stopped in for another ear of corn, I was trying to get my money’s worth of corn lol. Pretty soon Tooters wanted a break so we took her to the playground area and while she played The Wanderer, Bug and I laid down on the grass in the shade to try and shake off the corn coma we were slipping into.
This is when I started to look around and notice all the happy families around us. Since I have been in therapy being in public, especially somewhere like this with this many people is getting easier for me. For a while there I avoided any kind of party or gathering where there are a lot of couples and families. I did this because it made me feel so alone. Don’t get me wrong I love my life and would not change it for the world but sometimes in crowds it is a poke in the gut that I do not have a significant other or a husband. I am not even looking but sometimes it would be nice to have a companion to do stuff with.
While I was sitting there watching a daddy push his daughter on the swing I kind of had that re-occurring sadness in my gut. Tooters and I are such much better off with out the Donor but it is kind of sad that someone that shares her blood does not want to share in her life. Thankfully Tooters has the Wanderer for a great male role model. Anyways I allowed myself a few minutes of self-pity then I told my self to knock it off. In reality I actually have it pretty easy. I have a great job that is paying for a rent to own house that is very nice in a great neighborhood. I have my daughter and the most amazing support system in my family and some really great friends I have made in the last year. So I kicked my self out of the mood and perked up. I guess I was just being a little selfish feeling alone in the crowd when I was there for a great evening with my family, the people that are the most important to me, even the Bug lol.
Later that night while we were all wishing we had not had that last ear of corn and waiting for Travis Tritt to come on I left Tooters with the Wanderer and Bug so I could walk around for a minute. I stumbled onto a booth that was selling hermit crabs. I laughed at this thinking the universe is giving me a hint not to be so crabby. So of course I could not resist and gave into the whim to acquire a few more pets. Tooters’ was thrilled with the little guys. So now at our house we have the Wonder Pup and four hermit crabs. This weekend we finish outfitting their house with things to climb on, a swimming pool, and lots of shells for them to grow into. So my little family now includes Shelly, Nelly, Holly, and Molly, Tooters naturally had to name them all. I don’t know how we are going to keep track of them when they are all changing shells all of the time. I must have picked out the girls because they change shells like I change clothes.
I have decided now when I start feeling like the odd person out when I am in public I will just remember I am actually not so alone and that I need to knock it off. Maybe I need to carry a picture of the girls to remember not to be such a crab sometimes.