The Amazing Stranger & His Amazing Advice

Dear Asshat At The Store,

           Sir I would like to extend a warm fuzzy thank you for your wonderful advice at the store the other day.  The fact that you were so concerned about my daughter and me is very heartwarming.  You do not see that enough now days. 

          I know that the line we were in was very long and the store was hot so I understand the frustration you were expressing to your friend. Heck if one of my friends were there I would have made a couple of statements as well.  However just a slight suggestion, nothing compared to what you told me, next time you decide to let loose with a five minute rant about how slow the arthritic cashier is by loudly saying “f*ck” over and over again please try to be a little quieter.  My daughter is very smart and knows that that is not a good word but she does not need to hear it right in front of her for that long.  Neither did the toddlers behind me in line or the kids in the next lane.  I know they heard it too since you were talking loud enough for half the store to hear your frustration.

           Just remember you are visiting my town not the other way around.  I understand that our quaint little town depends on tourist like you for income but there is such a thing as respect.  Maybe that is why you offered me the highly valued advice that you did. 

          When I politely asked you to tone it down or lower your voice just a little bit, I was not trying to be critical.  If I came across rude when I finally asked you to “Shut the hell up!” I sincerely apologize.  Then when you turned around to me and opened your mouth I was in complete awe of what wisdom you bestowed upon me.  I will be sure to pass it on to all of mommy friends.

          “Bitch shut the f*ck up!  Your daughter is going to hear that word the rest of her life you better start anesthetizing her to it now.  So f*ck, f*ck, f*ckity, f*ck, f*ck!”

          Those words right there are just pure music to my ears.  The fact that you admitted you have no kids, when asked, and you are still able to help me out in this way is just phenomenal.  Honestly I have only been a single parent for over seven years now and never once did that line of thought come into my mind.  If you ever have kids in the future they will be so lucky to have you as a dad. 

          “Well sir, with your obvious extensive vocabulary you can take that word and go to hell!  I am not talking to you that way so return the respect…..f*cktard!”   Just slipped out of my mouth so I apologize for that too, since you were just trying to help me out with your advice. 

          Please enjoy the rest of your stay in our beautiful town and don’t forget to keep spreading your advice to other people you come across.  I really hope they receive it as well as I did or better. 

 

Sincerely,

 

The Eternally Grateful Mom At The Store.

 

P.S. My dad is a nurse in the emergency room, so when you do arrive there eventually call me and I will be right down to be by your side.  It is the least I can do for you……fucktard!!!

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12 Responses to “The Amazing Stranger & His Amazing Advice”

  1. The poor inconsiderate, mentally challenged, lower than a snake belly, foul mouthed man must have been having a bad day. Here’s hoping it all went down hill from there.

  2. Hope he gets food poisoning at the dodgy takeaway shop he’s sure to frequent. Makes you want to go all stabbity fuck.

  3. Are you kidding me?!!! I’m in shock! I don’t know how you dealt with him so calmly. I would have tried to kick his ass.

  4. I probably would have done and said a lot more if Tooters would not have been with me. I just keep thinking that what goes around comes around and he will get his in the end, somehow.

  5. wow.

    but you called him “asshat.”

    which, in my opinion, is the best random curse word combination I’ve ever heard.

  6. Wow. When someone gets agitated like that it really doesn’t help the situation. Kudos to you for staying so calm and not killing him.

  7. well he just let everyone know what an intelligent being he is, didn’t he. I used to punch my friend in the arm for saying cuss words and that was long before I had kids…she doesn’t talk that way around me anymore. I don’t think i would have taken that situation as well as you did, I have no tolerance for people yelling at me somebody should have squirt some liquid soap in his mouth or something…One day when he has children someone will do the same thing to him…if he hasn’t already taught them that word. My kids would have made a “bleep”ing noise every time the guy said that word…that’s what they do when one of my friends slips and says a naughty word. There are so many other nice words in the English language and yet people tend to favor this one…

  8. holy crap r u effing serious? I mean ok the f word is like one of my favorite to use but I don’t do it in the middle of the store nor around people esp little kids….no! You should have put your fist in his face!

  9. lifeunderacarolinamoon Says:

    The guy’s a jerk and he made that obvious to everyone. Sad thing is — he is probably oblivious to that fact…

  10. Hey, I left you a little gift over on my blog…

  11. You should of kicked him where it counts… not that im promoting violence

  12. I hope you come back when school starts and you have more free time. Miss you.

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