A Dork Of A Different Color

Well this is my first post in a while so I think I will start it off on a lighter note.  I want everyone to start off with a smile today.  There is a lot of things going on in my life right now that I need to get out and will write about later, but they are sad and happy both at the same time.  Since I am in a little bit of a down mood today I will continue with the happiness that is the latest adventure of Tooters. 

 We have had a rush of new families move into the neighborhood lately and with them came the little bratty boys up the road.  They have been teaching the little girls all kinds of inappropriate vocabulary, which I am just thrilled about……NOT!!!!!  I seem to be doing a lot of explaining about things that no 7 year old should be asking about.  Plus with them being a little bit older they are trying to play the whole girlfriend/boyfriend drama crap with the girl next door that is a little older than Tooters.  Now my daughter wants nothing to do with that game.  She says that boys are ok as friends but as boyfriends they are just trouble.  I am so proud!! 

 So here is what happened.  Last Friday my new boyfriend and I (yippy I have a great guy finally) were sitting on the couch watching TV waiting on Tooters to get home from the school just enjoying the quiet.  She came barreling through the door all excited to tell me what happened on the bus.  I got her to sit down and breathe a little bit then let her go on with her story.

 Apparently one of the little bratty boys that rides the bus with her decided to push her out of the way and steal her seat.  Well this did not go over well with my daughter.  She told me that I should be proud of her because she did not hit him for it.  So far this is going good, especially with her track record of getting into one or two fights with the boys every year.  Honestly I was not ready for it this soon into the school year.  But she did inform me that she stood up for herself and this is what she told the brat.

 “Look here you little whore you better get out of my seat right now!”

 As soon as the words left her mouth my jaw dropped and my elbow went into my boyfriends ribs because he was laughing behind his hand.  Holy crap I was speechless for a minute and Tooters sat there waiting for my reply all proud of herself.  You could actually see her chest all puffed out.  I collected myself and asked her where she heard that from.  She said that the brat that is her friends “boyfriend” calls her that all the time.  I asked her if she knows what it means and she said of course she does it means a big dork. 

I carefully explained to her what it really meant and why we do not call people whores.  This was so hard to do since she is sitting there all innocent, I am dying to laugh and my boyfriend is giggling.  It took a little bit but we got it all discussed and I told her since she did not really know what it meant at the time she was not in trouble, but I better never catch her calling people that again.  I sent her off to change out of her school clothes and the second she left the room this is what my BF had to say,

“OMG she is so your daughter!”

 Now what was that suppose to mean?  I am sweet, innocent, sugar and spice, well at least that is what I keep telling people.  For some reason they always laugh at me when I say it.  Anyways I keep picturing my dainty daughter on the bus with the word whore coming out of her mouth at the little boy and it does make me smile.  Then it hits me, if she is like this now what is she going to be like as a teenager.  Holy hell am I in for some rocky interesting years ahead of me!! 

I am seriously considering selling her early if this is a slight glimpse of what is coming my way.  Any takers?  She can be returned at the age of 18, I promise I will let her back in the house at the time.  Anyone out there that has advise for me to help keep me out of the loony bin it would be greatly appreciated lol. 

Follow Me Tooters

It is finally my turn to give back to someone around me. For so long I have had to rely on the people around me for help since my divorce. It is not something I like to do, but it is something that I have had to do. I get help from my parents with baby-sitting Tooters and of course they spoil her rotten with clothes and toys. My other friends have helped over the years with baby-sitting, letting me vent and just plain being there when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

I have also sat back and watched my parents help out people around them with a little bit of jealousy because I am not in the position to give back to others like that. I sit around and just try to be patient waiting my turn to give back something, help someone in need, or have that incredible feeling from being an awesome friend.

I finally got my chance this weekend. My best friend called my cell phone the other night and asked me to go pick up her daughter from her roommate since he was having some kind of melt down. She felt it was not a good place for her kiddo to be at the time. The little girl was in no danger or anything but why leave her in a stressful situation when she did not have to? Of course I was thrilled that she thought of me to help her and out the door I ran with Tooters hot on my heels.

I got back to the house with both girls who by the way were elated that they were going to be there watching movies late until my friend got off of work. I called her to let her know that everyone was safe and currently being sugared up on ice cream. I told her that since the roommate was being a dick that she was welcome to stay the night at my house. I had even made sure I was stocked up on herbal tea so we could have a good old fashion male bashing session. Sorry guys!! She agreed with me and said she would be there as soon as she picked up some clothes.

A few hours later my cell phone rang and it was my friend crying that the dick kicked her out. I got her as calm as I could and told her that the two of them are going to stay with me until we can find her a place or figure something out. I had my cousin that is visiting take the girls out for a Happy Meal so that they did not see my friend if she showed up crying. That was so cool for the girls to be going out of the house to McDonalds with someone new at 9:30 at night.

I have now set up my friend and her daughter in Tooters room. She is welcome at my house for as long as she can stand the insanity or she finds a new place to live. When Tooters asked about what was happening I told her what my mom used to tell me, we are building our stairway to heaven. I was taught growing up that you have so many steps to build in your lifetime in order to reach heaven but you only build each one by doing something good for others. So Tooters and I have added to our stairway this weekend.

 As bad as I feel for my friend and what she is going through I want to thank her. Thank you for being a friend to me, allowing me to be your friend, and letting me do something good for you. Thank you for asking for my help and giving me the gift of feeling incredible as I help you in your time of need. Thank you for being the strong, brave woman that is not afraid to ask for help so that I can take all of the good things people have done for me and pay it forward to you.

Someday Tooters will understand just how precious it is to help others and to relish in the feeling that comes from it. I know that my parents are the ones that have shown me that path so it is now my turn to take Tooters by the hand and guide her this way with me. It is a beautiful fulfilling path and I just pray that she appreciates where it goes, because it is a well-worn one paved in smiles behind us.

To Be, Or Not To Be A Hottie??

Recently Tooters came home from school and informed me that there were two new boys at her school.  One is in 1^st and the other is in kindergarten.  Well these two boys are very taken with Tooters, especially the younger one.  They have become thick as thieves at school.  Tooters even told me that one of her friends is the girlfriend to the older one and some jealous mean girl tried to break them up.  Oh the drama is starting already. 

 

Anyways the other day Tooters’ and I rode our bikes to her school. This has become our daily thing when it is not SNOWING.  Do you hear me Mother Nature quit PMS’ing and give me back my spring weather. She parked her bike I talked to my friend Dolly for a while then got on my bike to ride back to work.  Everything seemed just fine with the world. 

 

The end of the school day rolled around and back down to the school I rode to get Tooters’ and her bike, then back to work we would go so I could finish up some paperwork.  I wanted to hurry and get it done so we could get the 3.8-mile ride home finished before dark.  I told you that Tooters’ is trying to kill me riding that much in a day!!!!

 

We get back to my office and she pulls out her homework but looks like she has a load on her mind.  I just let her think about it for a while, I want her to come to me to talk about stuff when she is good and ready no pressure.  Sure enough pretty soon she tells me that we need to have a talk. 

 

T – “Mom you know my new friend in my class?” (This is the younger of the 2 boys)

 

M – “Yes, I thought you were such good friends and played together everyday?”

 

T- “We do, but something happened today and it hurt my feelings really bad.”

 

 M- “Are you going to tell me what it is?  I cannot help you figure out a solution if you do not tell me what happened.”

 

T- “He kept calling me a name all day.  He even chased me on the playground singing it and would not stop when I asked him to.  Mom it hurt my feelings!”

 

At this point her whole face just crumpled and she started to cry.  I am not talking just a few tears I am talking about the huge, super hurt, heartbreaking, flowing, alligator tears.  I scooped her up into my lap, rubbing her back while I tried to calm her down. 

 

M- “Honey just take a deep breath and tell me what he said.  I am sure we can figure this out together.”

 

T- “M-m-m-mom he kept saying (hiccup) all day (hiccup/burp) Tooters is a hottie!  Tooters is a hottie! (hiccup/cough).  It-it-it made me feel b-b-bad! (hiccup/hiccup) WWWAAAHHHH!!!!”

 

I just looked at her and thought to myself do not laugh at this little girl it will crush her even more.  Holy little girl drama batman, what do I do?  How I did not burst out laughing I am not sure, things got a little hazy at this point lol.  Calmly I explained to her what a hottie was, and that he was not saying it to be mean.  Suddenly the clouds parted, angels sang and she was bright and shiny again.  Tooters hopped off my lap and went back to her homework like nothing happened. 

 

Well I could not resist, that night I called the boys mother and told her what happened.  She is from the south and pretty proper but that is part of why I like her, she was horrified.  She said boys aren’t suppose to call girls that and she would talk to her son.  The boy’s mother told him not to use that word while I was on the phone and this was his response:

 

“Mom calling her pretty is boring and beautiful is to old fashion.  I am being hip!”

 

She was speechless and I just told her I would talk to her in the morning.  If I did not hang up the phone when I did I was going to lose it.  I thank God everyday for my Tooters, but on days like this with this much entertainment I thank him a million times over!!!! 

 

What Went Bump In The Night???

Ok, some of the blogs that I read every morning had mentions of ghosts in them. Now I am not a jumpy type and I do not scare easy. I love to watch scary movies alone on the weekends and I believe that I have an old man ghost in my house that has been with me for several years. However they got me thinking last night about it before I went to bed and I ended up dreaming about ghosts. No nightmares just dreams, but it is what happened when I got up in the middle of the night that was funny.

Every night when Tooters’ goes to bed I turn on her stereo so she can listen to books on tape. Don’t get me wrong I still read to her but she likes to have the noise in the bedroom with her. Right now she is in the middle of the Little House On The Prairie series, I think she is on the 4th book now. I am like this also; I have a noisemaker I listen to every night.

Well last night was a really bad night for me because I had gotten some bad news and I ended up sitting in my room at one point in the evening crying. Sweet little Tooters, who I thought was playing computer, snuck into my room with some Kleenex and dried my tears for me then laid down to hug me. All she wanted to do was make me feel better. AWWWW!!!!

So when it came to bedtime she asked if I would rock her since it always makes me feel better. After she was asleep I continued to hold her for a while then carried her to her bedroom. As always I turned on her story on the CD player, put it on repeat, then went about my business of going to bed myself.

Now as some of you already know I am a pretty bad insomniac and last night was no different. I was up wandering the house several times and dreaming about ghost in between walks. Around 3am I was up wondering the house and checking my email when I heard something very strange. I live in a neighborhood so I am used to sounds plus with the noises in the house; it is just normal to hear stuff all night. However this noise was very different it only lasted a second or two then quit. This was happening every minute or so.

Now like I said I am not jumpy so I sat in the dark in my computer room and just listened to it for a while trying to figure out what it was and which room it was coming from. It sounded like a male saying, “Lo, h’lo”.

Finally I got up and went through the house looking around and checking the doors. I then stood in my dark living room calling out, “Hello, who is there?”

When I got no answer I wondered is my old man of the house finally starting to make more noise?? I slowly made my way back towards my room and heard the noise again and a lot louder coming from Tooters’ room. I went in and found out that the CD that was on the loop was skipping and a man was saying hello. I took a calming deep breath, turned off the stereo and went back to bed.

After a while I laid there thinking about it and started to giggle. Here I am a kind of small non-threatening woman, alone in a house with a dog that would rather lick you than anything else, and a 7 year old daughter. What the hell was I going to do in the middle of the night with nothing to protect myself if it really had been someone in the house? I guess I could have scared them off when I turned on the light and they saw my bed head.

Like I said I am not scared to be in my living situation, but on the other hand I think I am going to the junk store today for a cheap golf club just incase, you can never be to careful in this day and age.

Lost Marbles, Found Marbles

Today for some reason is just a frustrating day and I think I will tell a little story to lighten things around here.  This story is based on actual events, however no finger pointing will be done and the identity of the main kid will remain secret.  It will not be revealed because I am afraid of retaliation and great bodily harm lol.

 

Once upon a time there lived a brother and sister.  They were close in age and loved each other dearly even though the mother could not tell by all the fighting done during the day.  At the end of the day brother and sister were put into the bathtub together (they were still young enough to do this) to peal off several layers of dirt, grim and who knows what else.  There was extra scrubbing involved this night because of a muddy project in the backyard and the mother wanted to make sure she had brought the right kids into the house. 

 

Brother and sister had heard the term digging to China and wanted to test the theory.  They found the perfect spot in the middle of the yard, in the garden and with the help of the neighbor kids started digging.  Since it was fall and most of the garden was picked the mother watched this going on thinking,

 

 “Oh God please let them dig till they are exhausted and go to bed early tonight!”

 

Well after a couple hours and a few feet later they found out that the further down they went the more mud they found.  The mother sprang off of the porch to start pulling kids out of the hole that was several feet down before they got stuck for good.  See she did not think they would get as far as they did, but she was sadly mistaken.  The kids had dug far enough down that they were getting into a water table that part of the town sits on.  After some crying and fussing all the dirt was returned to the hole, China would have to wait for another day I guess.  Neighbor kids were sent home to their parents, brother and sister were sent to the tub. 

 

Now this is where everything got interesting and I know the mother could feel the hairs on her head going not gray but white.  The little bit of sanity that she was holding onto for the night disappeared.  What happened was not bad but it was another one of those funny kid moments that you do not dare laugh in front of them, but you just cannot help yourself.  So here we go.

 

Once it was revealed that the proper kids were in fact in the bathtub the mother rinsed them off and decided to get sister out first.  Out came the little girl and the mother set about getting her dried off and started combing out the ten feet of rats nests sitting on top of her head.  The whole time the little boy is still playing with his toys in the tub.  Just when the mother was almost done there was a blood curdling scream coming from the bathroom.  The fear was evident in the mother’s face and you could see the thoughts in her head racing through.  The little girl was quickly moved aside and the mother went from the hallway outside the bathroom to standing next to the tub in a fraction of a second. 

 

Now with all the squealing coming from the little boy you would have thought there was blood everywhere or there were missing limbs.  Instantly the little boy realized mother was standing there and he looked up with all the alligator tears on his cheeks and started freaking out.  He kept repeating over and over again,

 

“I swear mommy I didn’t do it!  I swear I did not put anything in my mouth I don’t know how they got into my body!  I promise I did not do it! WWAAAAHHHH!!!”

 

The mother for the life of her could not figure out what was going on and finally got the boy to calm down enough he could tell her what was going on.  Now when I tell you what he said just close your eyes and try to image all of this in your head.  Are you ready?  OK here it is straight out of the boy’s mouth while he is looking straight down the whole time.

 

“Mommy I swear I do not know how the marbles got in my body.  I am a big boy, I don’t put things in my mouth anymore and I don’t remember swallowing my marbles.  So I don’t know how they got there!”

 

The mother perched on her knees next to the tub staring at the little boy still not quite comprehending what he was telling her asked him if he can feel the marbles and can he point to where they are at. 

 

The little boy took a deep breath, calmly looked at his mother and point to his……… “area”.  Instantly it dawned on the mother he found his “beans” and being a toddler thought that he swallowed some marbles and they got stuck there.

 

Without a word she calmly stood up walked out of the bathroom, yelled for the boy’s father and told him he was needed in the bathroom right away.  Honestly I don’t know what happened to the mother the rest of the night she simply walked away shaking her head, giggling, and saying,

 

 “What next?”

 

So that is my story for the day, I will leave the speculation of the boy’s identity to you.  Those of you that read my story that knows who I am in the real world and you do not quite know who it is just think really hard and you will figure it out.  As for the little boy, I am soooooo sorry and please don’t hurt me lol. 

 

Have a great day everyone!!!!!!!!!