Does Your Costume Speak To You?

Well it is that time of year again when we all dress up for Halloween, scare ourselves silly with movies, take the kids trick-or-treating in cold weather and indulge in a little to much candy for 2 weeks afterwards.  This also means I get to post another Halloween list. 

Keep in mind this is just for fun and my warped perspective on things.  This year I was thinking about costumes, Tooters and I love to dress up, and I realized that personality and mood has a lot to do with what you choose to wear.  I am talking more about the adults than the kids.  They tend to follow the trend more than the adults.  Let’s break it down! 

Princess – Women that dress up like a fairytale princesses love to be pampered and wants everyone to do her bidding most of the time.  She is ultra girly with a liking for sparkly long dresses made out of taffeta.  She also sees herself as a little better than the common woman and truly believes that the knight in shiny armor exists while she walks around with her head in the clouds.

Vampire – Anyone that chooses this has a dark side that they may or may not keep hidden.  They have a lust for blood, danger power and sex.  They have a controlling side that can erupt at anytime especially at night.  The women are extremely tough of both mind and body with a super sexy side.  Cunning and wit are always present whether the common man realizes it or not and they are excellent predators.

Superhero – Whether it is the side kick or the woman of the hour this is a woman with great powers of her own.  She is controlling in a good way, fights for the underdog, protects the weak and looks great doing it.  There is nothing this woman cannot do, or at least thinks so.  She has a super strength that goes with a super body even if it is a little hidden under a layer of ice cream and chocolate.  She juggles a million things at once and makes it look easy.

Witch – There is way more than meets the eye with this woman.  She is not only crafty and creative but baffling and hard to figure out.  Is she the good witch or the bad witch?  What evil/good is lurking underneath it all?  The limits to her powers are endless.  You better watch out she will cast a spell over men that keep them coming back for more without realizing why.  There is definitely mystery there and she will only let you see what she wants you to.

Animal – This is a pretty simple one.  Any woman that dresses up like an animal is showing what is hidden behind the sugar and spice she displays everyday.  She can be playful, mean, sneaky or cuddly.  She can be a tiger in or out of bed when she is alone with you.  She can also be the nurturing type that would rather wrap herself around you for protection, warmth and love.  So really this one cannot be broken down as well as the other ones.

 Clown – Oh there is so much more than meets the eye on this one, I actually see two different ones here.  Women that are funny make the greatest clowns of course and tend to love kids.  They dress up to please the little ones and make them laugh.  But on the other hand they are also hiding. Hiding a truck load of issues behind the make-up, funny wigs and goofy huge clothes.  Some of these women are a little sad on the inside but don’t want others to see it, they like to keep a happy face instead.  They deflect and avoid what is going on in their heads by being goofy on the outside.  They say tears of a clown for a reason.  

 Ultra sexy/slutty anything – This is not a loose woman so don’t let the clothes tell the story, at least for most of them.  No this woman is confidant and secure in her own skin.  This is the one night of the year it is ok to flaunt every single inch of what she was blessed with or worked for.  In every day life this might the mom down the street in sweats or the woman in the cubicle next to you that wears a boring power suit on most days.  She wants to be noticed everyday and might not know how to achieve that, so this is her way to cut loose and scream look at me I’m hot!!!!!

 So there you have it my Halloween post for the year.  I could have gone on and on but did not want to bore anyone.  Plus I have to leave something for next year lol.  Happy Halloween everyone have fun and be safe!!!!!!!  Lots of love from Tooters, Sunnymom and the Wonder Pup.

An Indulgent Then & A Rewarding Now

When I was a little girl I had huge ideas of how my life was going to be when I grew up. I listened intently to all the fairytales convinced that that was how real life was. Convinced that there was a prince out there just waiting for me. Waiting to come riding up on his white horse, sword waving, with a smile that I would fall in love with instantly and be there to rescue me. What he is suppose to save me from I don’t know but that is how it was suppose to happen.

Then harsh reality of adulthood sets in and those ideals faded away with my youth. Then came a bad marriage, not enough money, starting over with a child, single mom hood and the every day anxiety of raising a daughter. With that praying I am showing Tooters the right path in life so she will grow up strong and avoid the same mistakes I made. I know that she needs to make her own bad choices at times and make her own mistakes to learn from but as a mother I want to shelter her from all that.

So here I sit thinking about then and now, what a difference a few years make. Wondering how I could have done things different then kicking myself in the butt because I realize my choices made me who I am today. My choices also brought me to a place in my life that I have a career of sorts with the state, I am attending college, living paycheck to paycheck and living with my greatest accomplishment in the world. As we all grow up think about current and past choices we see what we should have done different at the time. Below is irrefutable proof of a maturing mind:

Then: Once I used to be able to party all night just to race home, shower, eat a piece of toast and go to work perky.

Now: Just the thought of a drink sends me running for the aspirin and turns my stomach. The idea of spending an evening at a bar then taking care of Tooters the next day makes a few more white hairs pop out. I would rather watch a movie at home and go to bed early.

Then: Friday night was a race to find as many people to go out with as possible. Scouting out where the hot spots were for the night and wondering how many drinks I could get the cute guy across the bar to buy me.

Now: Friday night is spent watching kid movies, doing laundry, studying or just turning in for the night before midnight. Or sitting in front of the TV with a scary movie after Tooters is finally asleep thinking OMG I am going to pay for this at 7 am when she gets up because it is after midnight.

Then: Jumping in the shower before work with the music blasting at an earsplitting level and enjoying the hot water. Being able to shave my legs and pits in peace without explaining what I am doing or why and not caring if I end up walking around the house nekkid because I forgot my clothes and a clean towel.

Now: Getting in the shower before school/work with Tooters and racing through it so that we are both done before the song ends that is on the radio. Racing out of the shower to get dressed and yelling we are in fast mode because mommy could not pry her eyes open before hitting snooze for the third time.

Then: I used to stand in front of my closet full of cute clothes that were a size 0-5 wondering which one would make my butt look the cutest for the day. Looking in my drawer and have underwear with out holes and a bra that did not have safety pins holding it together.

Now: Looking in my closet wondering which outfit is going to hide the baby pooch that will never go away and the butt that is slowly migrating south. Finding the right bra that will keep my boobs from looking like socks with sand in them. Keeping duck tape in the bedroom to tape the under wire back in place for the day.

Then: Leaving the house smelling like a girl. Every hair in perfect order as well as the make up.

Now: Lucky to escape the house with out smelling to out of place from being puked on all night. Then getting to work and remembering that I only had to time to do one eye and afraid to look in the mirror and see my hair.

Then: Working overtime at my job thinking about the new pair of boots I get to buy for going out. Knowing that all the bills were paid ahead of time and if I wanted to eat out every meal I could because it was just me.

Now: Wondering which bill I can put off for another 2 weeks because Tooters has to have medicine for her ear. Now instead of shopping the specialty shops for myself I run to the thrift store hoping they have something in my size because all my clothes are either stained or do not fit anymore just so that Tooters can have the newest movie that came out. Also praying that the can of vegetables I just threw in the stew will taste ok because that is all I have left in the cupboard.

Looking at my list I realize that my youth was spent being indulgent and selfish. Tooters is such a blessing because she made me grow up and realize there are more important things out there than myself. I enjoy every sacrifice and indulging in her wants now instead of my own. I am sad that it took such a rocky path to get here and I apologize in secret for Tooters not having a normal family like I got to have. But then again I remind myself that we went from a deplorable situation to one that is loving, safe and all mine. I get to reap the rewards everyday and the little arms wrapped around my neck at night and little lips kissing my cheek makes everything ok no matter what kind of day I have had.

Thank you Tooters for being in my life. Thank you mom and dad for your unconditional love and support. Thank you friends for letting me vent and cry when I cannot stand it anymore. Thank you to all the special people in my life for lifting my spirits when I am down.

A Dork Of A Different Color

Well this is my first post in a while so I think I will start it off on a lighter note.  I want everyone to start off with a smile today.  There is a lot of things going on in my life right now that I need to get out and will write about later, but they are sad and happy both at the same time.  Since I am in a little bit of a down mood today I will continue with the happiness that is the latest adventure of Tooters. 

 We have had a rush of new families move into the neighborhood lately and with them came the little bratty boys up the road.  They have been teaching the little girls all kinds of inappropriate vocabulary, which I am just thrilled about……NOT!!!!!  I seem to be doing a lot of explaining about things that no 7 year old should be asking about.  Plus with them being a little bit older they are trying to play the whole girlfriend/boyfriend drama crap with the girl next door that is a little older than Tooters.  Now my daughter wants nothing to do with that game.  She says that boys are ok as friends but as boyfriends they are just trouble.  I am so proud!! 

 So here is what happened.  Last Friday my new boyfriend and I (yippy I have a great guy finally) were sitting on the couch watching TV waiting on Tooters to get home from the school just enjoying the quiet.  She came barreling through the door all excited to tell me what happened on the bus.  I got her to sit down and breathe a little bit then let her go on with her story.

 Apparently one of the little bratty boys that rides the bus with her decided to push her out of the way and steal her seat.  Well this did not go over well with my daughter.  She told me that I should be proud of her because she did not hit him for it.  So far this is going good, especially with her track record of getting into one or two fights with the boys every year.  Honestly I was not ready for it this soon into the school year.  But she did inform me that she stood up for herself and this is what she told the brat.

 “Look here you little whore you better get out of my seat right now!”

 As soon as the words left her mouth my jaw dropped and my elbow went into my boyfriends ribs because he was laughing behind his hand.  Holy crap I was speechless for a minute and Tooters sat there waiting for my reply all proud of herself.  You could actually see her chest all puffed out.  I collected myself and asked her where she heard that from.  She said that the brat that is her friends “boyfriend” calls her that all the time.  I asked her if she knows what it means and she said of course she does it means a big dork. 

I carefully explained to her what it really meant and why we do not call people whores.  This was so hard to do since she is sitting there all innocent, I am dying to laugh and my boyfriend is giggling.  It took a little bit but we got it all discussed and I told her since she did not really know what it meant at the time she was not in trouble, but I better never catch her calling people that again.  I sent her off to change out of her school clothes and the second she left the room this is what my BF had to say,

“OMG she is so your daughter!”

 Now what was that suppose to mean?  I am sweet, innocent, sugar and spice, well at least that is what I keep telling people.  For some reason they always laugh at me when I say it.  Anyways I keep picturing my dainty daughter on the bus with the word whore coming out of her mouth at the little boy and it does make me smile.  Then it hits me, if she is like this now what is she going to be like as a teenager.  Holy hell am I in for some rocky interesting years ahead of me!! 

I am seriously considering selling her early if this is a slight glimpse of what is coming my way.  Any takers?  She can be returned at the age of 18, I promise I will let her back in the house at the time.  Anyone out there that has advise for me to help keep me out of the loony bin it would be greatly appreciated lol. 

The Amazing Stranger & His Amazing Advice

Dear Asshat At The Store,

           Sir I would like to extend a warm fuzzy thank you for your wonderful advice at the store the other day.  The fact that you were so concerned about my daughter and me is very heartwarming.  You do not see that enough now days. 

          I know that the line we were in was very long and the store was hot so I understand the frustration you were expressing to your friend. Heck if one of my friends were there I would have made a couple of statements as well.  However just a slight suggestion, nothing compared to what you told me, next time you decide to let loose with a five minute rant about how slow the arthritic cashier is by loudly saying “f*ck” over and over again please try to be a little quieter.  My daughter is very smart and knows that that is not a good word but she does not need to hear it right in front of her for that long.  Neither did the toddlers behind me in line or the kids in the next lane.  I know they heard it too since you were talking loud enough for half the store to hear your frustration.

           Just remember you are visiting my town not the other way around.  I understand that our quaint little town depends on tourist like you for income but there is such a thing as respect.  Maybe that is why you offered me the highly valued advice that you did. 

          When I politely asked you to tone it down or lower your voice just a little bit, I was not trying to be critical.  If I came across rude when I finally asked you to “Shut the hell up!” I sincerely apologize.  Then when you turned around to me and opened your mouth I was in complete awe of what wisdom you bestowed upon me.  I will be sure to pass it on to all of mommy friends.

          “Bitch shut the f*ck up!  Your daughter is going to hear that word the rest of her life you better start anesthetizing her to it now.  So f*ck, f*ck, f*ckity, f*ck, f*ck!”

          Those words right there are just pure music to my ears.  The fact that you admitted you have no kids, when asked, and you are still able to help me out in this way is just phenomenal.  Honestly I have only been a single parent for over seven years now and never once did that line of thought come into my mind.  If you ever have kids in the future they will be so lucky to have you as a dad. 

          “Well sir, with your obvious extensive vocabulary you can take that word and go to hell!  I am not talking to you that way so return the respect…..f*cktard!”   Just slipped out of my mouth so I apologize for that too, since you were just trying to help me out with your advice. 

          Please enjoy the rest of your stay in our beautiful town and don’t forget to keep spreading your advice to other people you come across.  I really hope they receive it as well as I did or better. 

 

Sincerely,

 

The Eternally Grateful Mom At The Store.

 

P.S. My dad is a nurse in the emergency room, so when you do arrive there eventually call me and I will be right down to be by your side.  It is the least I can do for you……fucktard!!!

The Neighborhood Cujo

With my insane schedule right now I worry about not spending enough time with Tooter’s, so I have been making an extra effort to make sure she is getting the attention she needs.  I take one day every weekend and we go do something special, then I come home and hit the books hard.  I usually end up studying until midnight but I think that the trade off is worth it.  Anyways in order to keep my sanity Tooter’s and I have been jogging at night with the Wonder Pup.  Last night we ate kind of late so we just walked the neighborhood instead and boy was it eventful. 

 

We did our usual route all up and down a couple of streets before coming to the through street we turn on.  Everything was normal, you know the usual kids out playing in the street, occasional dogs wondering around and typical neighborhood noises.  Well when we got close to the intersection that brings us back to our road it happened…… we were attacked.

 

Really I am not joking!  There is this house with a cute three foot wooden fence in front that we were walking by with a couple of big dogs in the yard.  Now the Wonder Pup cannot see through the fence so she does not pay attention to the dogs unless they come over and bark at her first.  This doesn’t bother me because they are just talking to us and protecting their yard.  But last night was different the huge rotwieller that weighs more than me actually jumped the fence. 

 

Ok I am not afraid of dogs but watching this thing fly over the fence put the image of Cujo in my head.  I managed to shove Tooters out of the way so she would not get bitten, at the same time looking up for the owners.  The Wonder Pup was scared and trying to bark while hiding behind me at the same time.  All this did was piss off the dog even more and made it chase her around me to get at her.  I ended up turning circles to keep the rot away from the Wonder Pup and try to keep from getting bit myself.  Poor Tooters was scared but I don’t remember hearing her scream or cry, however when it was done I saw a few tears that escaped.  

 

Anyways all I could think to do was scream, “Help me! Help me! Come get your dog!” 

 

I did this over and over for what seemed like eternity until the man came out of the house to get his horror machine.  He did ask me if the dog bit anyone.  The thing is he asked it like he was asking about my day, very calm like this is a normal conversation for him.  I told him that the dog flew over the fence and came after the Wonder Pup and me. 

 

Now here is where things heated up.   I was so scared and full of adrenaline that we started walking away still trying to process what happened.  The wife came flying out of the door and called me a liar because the dog did not bite anyone.  I calmly told her I did not say the dog bit us just that it came after us.  She looked at me like I was a piece of shit on her shoe and informed me the monster is friendly and would not hurt anyone. 

 

I beg to differ after seeing it launch itself at us but I did not want to get into a fight with her in front of Tooters.  I just wanted to get us safely home, check every inch of us for damage and cuddle Tooters till we both stopped shaking.  The bitch kept giving me the stink eye and saying nothing really happened.  You know I managed to keep my cool for as long as I could and tried to keep going towards home, but I finally just had to say something.  So I informed her that if my daughter has even a drool mark on her she would be in a world of shit and I would call animal control. 

 

This is just an empty threat but it made me feel better at the time.  The fear of retaliation kept me from calling anyone since I just live around the corner.  It is times like this I have to be extra cautious since it is just the three of us in the house.  Plus the Wonder Pup is outside all day while we are gone and what would stop them from harming her.  This is also the time of year I start working at nights as well so I cannot protect the house. 

 

I got home, calmed down and checked everyone for marks.  Wouldn’t you know it the only one that came out of it with a mark was me; I have a nice little bruise from one of the teeth.  Needless to say I am sitting here today reconsidering calling someone about that dog.  It is not fair to us that we can no longer walk that part of the neighborhood with the fear of being attacked again.  What’s to say next time the stupid monster actually bites one of us??

 

Tooters did tell me as she was getting into bed that she is going to save up for a dog bigger than Cujo around the corner so it can protect the Wonder Pup and us from being attacked again.   This was so sweet I just hugged her and hugged her until it was time to read to her. 

 

I just want to play, I swear

P.S. I found out that reading my psychology book to her at night helps me study and man does it put her out quick lol.